CREATE and FUCK your own AI GIRLFRIEND TRY FOR FREE
x

RPGM Ren'Py Laura: Lustful Secrets [Ch.2 v0.3 P2] [Dark Anu]

3.90 star(s) 58 Votes
Discussion Reviews (58)
W

WastedTalent

Active Member
Dec 11, 2020
949
1,518
cleanfeel said:
I played a few minutes. Here's my thoughts.

Pros:
1. Isometric graphics of the map is refreshing
2. Amount of locations on map shows ability to create a believable world (at least physically)

Cons:
1. Writing is poor - (more later)
2. Proportions of women is off - Kim Kardashian's ass is not a good indicator of a good hot body. Go look at the Olympics athletes in Tokyo if you want to see what perfect female asses should look like. Kim's ass is all fat and plastic surgery, which is gross. It's not natural. Go to reddit /r/gonewild if you still can't figure out. There's no excuse for not knowing what a shapely ass should look like)

Writing is the core of any narrative driven game experiences, such as the ones here in h-games. There's a lot of issues with the writing in this game, I will list them in order of pressing matter.

1. Lack of characterization for wife, daughter, and husband - Who are they? What does wife do? What does daughter do? Where are they living? What kind of neighborhood is it? What does wife want in her life? Is she a homemaker (unemployed leecher)? Is daughter a student? Does she have a job? Does she have a boyfriend? What is wife scared of? What makes her happy? etc. etc. Learn how to do it:
You must be registered to see the links
. Google "How to write a good character"
2. Lack of real meaningful dialog between characters - Biggest examples being the conversation that the MC had with his wife when he told her "Hey babe, without asking you, I am going to have some stranger live in our house". You need more life experiences or watch more TV if you think the way you portrayed that conversation is how real people talk. It's completely bogus
3. Too many side characters - I don't give a shit about the neighbor when you can't even get the 4 characters you have correct: MC, wife, daughter, and Marketing Consultant. Too many characters don't make your game better, well developed characters do.

Overall the writing in this game is just poor. It sounds like someone with no life experiences trying to emulate real life. The first thing that jumped out to me was when the Boss chewing MC out in the office. It's 100% not believable and not how real corporate BS meetings go down (at least here in America where I work).
Click to expand...
Based on your review I would say it's written for middle schoolers with no real life experience... heck with the way things are today the dev might be an underage kid lol. Thanks for the heads up. Won't be wasting my time.
 
  • Like
  • Angry
Reactions: looseylucy, Keldin, Alea iacta est and 2 others
px305

px305

Member
May 6, 2017
430
767
Its reminds me of the old RPG NTR games the story is linear and the characters are typical (this is not a bad thing)
I like the models, lets wait how the NTR plot progresses.

PD: I hope this is not another "1 Update then Abandoned" game type
 
  • Like
Reactions: misterday and Dark Anu
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom
3.90 star(s) 58 Votes