puranrai988

Member
Jul 25, 2018
424
136
Hmmm ok there are two option for Android download...
A little confused ...
So
Which one should I download for my phone
 

caravaggio

Member
May 8, 2017
135
371
This game is definitely good! Visuals are so-so, there are some hot models but the general quality is just average. Although I'm sure that with some more experience it will improve.. anyway is good enough to be enjoyable. There aren't many choices and it gets a bit too wordy sometimes, but overall it's well written and realistic, which is refreshing. What I appreciate the most was that the interactions the MC had were believeable and that generally the characters felt real. In too many games I get the impression that the characters aren't really humans, or that at least they lack proper knowledge of how human beings generally interacts with each other.
So kudos! Keep up the good work
 
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Alithini Istoria

Newbie
Game Developer
Mar 24, 2019
75
146
This game is definitely good! Visuals are so-so, there are some hot models but the general quality is just average. Although I'm sure that with some more experience it will improve.. anyway is good enough to be enjoyable. There aren't many choices and it gets a bit too wordy sometimes, but overall it's well written and realistic, which is refreshing. What I appreciate the most was that the interactions the MC had were believeable and that generally the characters felt real. In too many games I get the impression that the characters aren't really humans, or that at least they lack proper knowledge of how human beings generally interacts with each other.
So kudos! Keep up the good work
Thanks for taking the time to read it and leave a review! I'll try not to disappoint and keep improving with experience, as you put it. I'll keep looking for opportunities to add choices for the reader in future chapters. Thanks for all the critique, caravaggio.

how to get the scenes with jenny some help
In Chapter 3, when prompted on where you'd like to clean, choose to clean the classroom.
Following that, the choices to have sex with Jenny in Chapter 4 are very obvious.
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Maderyx

Newbie
Feb 26, 2018
25
45
This game is definitely good! Visuals are so-so, there are some hot models but the general quality is just average. Although I'm sure that with some more experience it will improve.. anyway is good enough to be enjoyable. There aren't many choices and it gets a bit too wordy sometimes, but overall it's well written and realistic, which is refreshing. What I appreciate the most was that the interactions the MC had were believeable and that generally the characters felt real. In too many games I get the impression that the characters aren't really humans, or that at least they lack proper knowledge of how human beings generally interacts with each other.
So kudos! Keep up the good work
i agree with all of those points.
and gotta say especially the beginning is really wordy and felt like a drought. had to stop playing and come back later cuz it seemed generally enjoyable and wanted to give it a fair chance.
Also the choices are sometimes a bit weird/not clear enough to convey whats supposed to happen.
Like Cleaning the Classroom vs. cleaning Outside. Classroom is really obvious that it leads to a girl.
but Outside makes no sense to me (i havent tried it). Do you want people passing by to notice how diligent the people from that gym are so they get more customers? are you trying to impress your boss who probably sits in his office all day and wont even notice it? its not like the MC is in a relationship with any girl and would wont to avoid any girls at this point.
The Interactions and overall tone of the game are really realistic and are not something thats seen often in games on this site.
the good writing made it enjoyable eventho i like games with more fantasy in them more. Fantasy in a sense that "What if the world/our life was just a bit different to normal" to make it more like a dream or fantasy someone has.
 
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Alithini Istoria

Newbie
Game Developer
Mar 24, 2019
75
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i agree with all of those points.
and gotta say especially the beginning is really wordy and felt like a drought. had to stop playing and come back later cuz it seemed generally enjoyable and wanted to give it a fair chance.
Also the choices are sometimes a bit weird/not clear enough to convey whats supposed to happen.
Like Cleaning the Classroom vs. cleaning Outside. Classroom is really obvious that it leads to a girl.
but Outside makes no sense to me (i havent tried it). Do you want people passing by to notice how diligent the people from that gym are so they get more customers? are you trying to impress your boss who probably sits in his office all day and wont even notice it? its not like the MC is in a relationship with any girl and would wont to avoid any girls at this point.
The Interactions and overall tone of the game are really realistic and are not something thats seen often in games on this site.
the good writing made it enjoyable eventho i like games with more fantasy in them more. Fantasy in a sense that "What if the world/our life was just a bit different to normal" to make it more like a dream or fantasy someone has.
Thanks for playing and for leaving a ton of feedback! Are you able to recall which scenes specifically drove you away the first time around? I don't intend to go back and rewrite old chapters, but I'm curious to know if it lines up with what another reader said about spending too much time with male characters (mostly Nick early on).

I remember writing that classroom choice and wanting to include a random element to the game. Nobody would be able to foresee that choice resulting in different Tender matches (Jenny or Lindsay - the blonde with the titfuck in the preview pics). Cleaning the classroom seemed like an obvious, sexually gratifying choice for the reader. To balance it out, I wrote the opposite for what resulted from cleaning outside and had the MC talk to Leanna when she was in a bit of an emotional state.
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As for the reasons why the MC would clean outside, you did hit on a couple of them.
"Even if Chris doesn't see me, some members might... I remember seeing a lot of litter on my way in this morning."

The next girl A or girl B decision will be explicitly mentioned to the reader. I don't think I'll include randomness for branching paths anymore.
 

Maderyx

Newbie
Feb 26, 2018
25
45
Thanks for playing and for leaving a ton of feedback! Are you able to recall which scenes specifically drove you away the first time around? I don't intend to go back and rewrite old chapters, but I'm curious to know if it lines up with what another reader said about spending too much time with male characters (mostly Nick early on).
The first conversation with Nick on the Phone was slightly too long but still OK.
if i remember it was even before that. The whole Introduction part was just too much information and went on for ages. i thought "OK i got it. Move on please"
downloading the game again and check.
i tried and failed. it felt like leveling a new character in an MMO. "ive allready gone through this 1 time. why would it do it again?". like the league/DotS part. not even 5min later i allready forgot that was even in there. And i bet it wont show up again in the story going forward. Im not saying a fleshed out background for the MC is bad. but it gets really boring when you as the player sit there reading through it before the story finally moves on. there is nothing thats keeping me hooked in some parts. We learn that he has an Interview as Personal Trainer and that his past relationship wasnt the best. with that the Backstory is set and it would be good time to move on.
Getting more Insight into the MCs Thoughts/Motive going forward is nice. Just some Parts are useless and stray from the Path and go too far with useless Information. A middleground would be good with fleshing it out but dont make too long.
I should probably add that Storybased games are my favorites on this site. and this one has some real potential. Just some parts were a drought of actual Information and Progression. But keep in mind thats all just my personal opinion. Others might prefer it this way.

As for the Outside cleaning ok that kinda makes sense and also not. The MC never showed interested in cleaning before. But Chris mentioned it in the Trainer Meeting and suddenly he is interested? It kinda makes sense since hes the "new guy" at the gym and wants to show Initiative/his good side.
but it feels like it came out of nowhere. so some more explanation after the meeting and before he decides where to go and clean might help. Its only afterwards that we get the encounter with Nathan and get insight into the MC. that he wants the Gym to be a bit cleaner as his own workplace.
 
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Alithini Istoria

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Mar 24, 2019
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The first conversation with Nick on the Phone was slightly too long but still OK.
if i remember it was even before that. The whole Introduction part was just too much information and went on for ages. i thought "OK i got it. Move on please"
downloading the game again and check.
i tried and failed. it felt like leveling a new character in an MMO. "ive allready gone through this 1 time. why would it do it again?". like the league/DotS part. not even 5min later i allready forgot that was even in there. And i bet it wont show up again in the story going forward. Im not saying a fleshed out background for the MC is bad. but it gets really boring when you as the player sit there reading through it before the story finally moves on. there is nothing thats keeping me hooked in some parts. We learn that he has an Interview as Personal Trainer and that his past relationship wasnt the best. with that the Backstory is set and it would be good time to move on.
Getting more Insight into the MCs Thoughts/Motive going forward is nice. Just some Parts are useless and stray from the Path and go too far with useless Information. A middleground would be good with fleshing it out but dont make too long.
I should probably add that Storybased games are my favorites on this site. and this one has some real potential. Just some parts were a drought of actual Information and Progression. But keep in mind thats all just my personal opinion. Others might prefer it this way.

As for the Outside cleaning ok that kinda makes sense and also not. The MC never showed interested in cleaning before. But Chris mentioned it in the Trainer Meeting and suddenly he is interested? It kinda makes sense since hes the "new guy" at the gym and wants to show Initiative/his good side.
but it feels like it came out of nowhere. so some more explanation after the meeting and before he decides where to go and clean might help. Its only afterwards that we get the encounter with Nathan and get insight into the MC. that he wants the Gym to be a bit cleaner as his own workplace.
Personal opinion or not, it's still good to hear. The beginning seemed interesting to me for obviously biased reasons, but I need people to speak up so I can understand the full range of reception. So again, thanks for taking so much time to write out your opinions.

A slice of life visual novel that follows day-to-day life with no major plot twists isn't something I'd imagine most people would be keen on reading, yet here I am writing it. I want people to enjoy the characters they interact with and be able to relate to the MC in a lot of the situations.

I've got nearly all of Chapters 5 + 6 roughly planned, and they're continuing in the same way as Chapter 4 (faster pace, more sex, and less introspection compared to the first chapters). I'm condensing a lot of what I envisioned for the entirety of Full Stride and scrapping a bunch of side characters. Some events that I'd planned for later are going to happen now.

The original pace of the story was too slow/didn't present much of importance if people couldn't relate to the MC/story. I didn't engage the readers enough with choices or reward them with much sexual content. Events in Chapters 5 + 6 won't feel rushed or out of place, but I understand that I need to add more meaningful content considering the audience is playing for porn.
 

Maderyx

Newbie
Feb 26, 2018
25
45
Personal opinion or not, it's still good to hear. The beginning seemed interesting to me for obviously biased reasons, but I need people to speak up so I can understand the full range of reception. So again, thanks for taking so much time to write out your opinions.

A slice of life visual novel that follows day-to-day life with no major plot twists isn't something I'd imagine most people would be keen on reading, yet here I am writing it. I want people to enjoy the characters they interact with and be able to relate to the MC in a lot of the situations.

I've got nearly all of Chapters 5 + 6 roughly planned, and they're continuing in the same way as Chapter 4 (faster pace, more sex, and less introspection compared to the first chapters). I'm condensing a lot of what I envisioned for the entirety of Full Stride and scrapping a bunch of side characters. Some events that I'd planned for later are going to happen now.

The original pace of the story was too slow/didn't present much of importance if people couldn't relate to the MC/story. I didn't engage the readers enough with choices or reward them with much sexual content. Events in Chapters 5 + 6 won't feel rushed or out of place, but I understand that I need to add more meaningful content considering the audience is playing for porn.
Day-to-day VN arent unusual. there are quite a few on this site. but most of them have a slight Twist to them and arent as realistic as this one. just to name a few: Life with Mary, Deluca Family, Twists of my Life, Daughter for Desert, Man of the House and so on. So it just falls in line with many titles on here allready.

The general pace of the game was not bad. just the Beginning/Introduction of the MC was real slow. Once the Story finally started it went along at a good pace.

Now choices can be meaningful like branching paths or for more sidecontent (theres examples for both types present on here). And that choice is 100% up to you. its your game and you make it how you envisioned it. and not everything has to lead to sex all the time. if a Story is good some wont mind that nothing sexual happened but will keep going. Others that just want the Sex will probably stop playing but that shouldnt bother you. since again this is your story. so you do you.
a good middleground would obviously be the best choice and i think so far its good. there are enough sex scenes between story progression for my taste atm.

1 big Inconsistency in the Story i found so far is Gloria. MC wants to reconnect with her, his mother tells him to invite her for dinner and theyre old friends. But what does he do? Nothing. She feels like the main heroine but barely shows up. that just feels weird so far where the Thoughts/Conversations and Actions dont match. they get 1 Cafe Date where she had to invite the MC even.
that doesnt mean that the MC should now just instantly go for her but at least hang out again sometimes to reconnect like he wants to. and steadily improve the relationship.
 
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Crylanceo

Newbie
Apr 25, 2019
16
3
hi can you help me, i cant play this game because when i input the name mc then enter, it wont process. i play android ver. thanks
 

Alithini Istoria

Newbie
Game Developer
Mar 24, 2019
75
146
hi can you help me, i cant play this game because when i input the name mc then enter, it wont process. i play android ver. thanks
Hi. I'm not sure how to help you as I can't replicate it myself. Are you able to proceed without entering a name (and just using the default name "Ryan")?
 

Alithini Istoria

Newbie
Game Developer
Mar 24, 2019
75
146
thanks for your reply, i try ryan but still stuck wont process.
I'm sorry about that. This is the first time I've heard about the issue.

@booom313 Sorry to bother you, but would you possibly know the issue/fix for this? Ren'Py didn't notify me of any errors when I compiled the Android build.
 

Alithini Istoria

Newbie
Game Developer
Mar 24, 2019
75
146
or maybe you can share you save file after you put the mc game. thanks
What would you like the MC's name to be?

Here's a save after using the default name.

I hope it's compatible with Android.
 
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Crylanceo

Newbie
Apr 25, 2019
16
3
wow i already play it and this games is amazing, funny story and straight to the point , i used to play all illusion games and studios, and i knew someone will make a good story games or movie with illusion games base. Good job man cant wait for the update. By the way anymore games similiar like this? i like games like this very much. thank you
 
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4.50 star(s) 6 Votes