There's a lot to appreciate from this story, but it's so badly pieced together. The manipulation of outside forces is a fantastic angle to take and the way things are being layout isn't necessarily bad, however there's a lot of problems here too. The first being that no couple with the amount of trust these two show at the start would put up with this shit. I'm serious, what wife wouldn't trust her husband enough for her to listen to his side of things and take to word of a stranger? And what husband would tolerate the amount of men trying to get into his wife's pants without it coming to blows? Of course much of this would require her to be honest in the first place and tell him. Which is NEVER AN OPTION. Sorry, my frustration is high with this one. This would be a completely different take if she was naturally a slut. But that's clearly not the case here. David never asks to see his accusers and his wife, a person whom he has dedicated his life to, immediately believes their word over his.
What the fuck?
Anna is an incredibly flawed character who craves the attention she's receiving from other men over her husband's. And that right there should mean she doesn't want to be married, period. I'm not kidding. She clearly likes the support he provides, but has no interest in the marriage. So why are we having to go through all these different points in her life that she should feel bad about? Is it to build up the fact that she's just in denial about wanting to fuck everything that moves? On top of that there are flashbacks where the wife just lets men feel her up quite literally all of the time and she has never brought it up to her husband. Not even once. Plus, she's constantly texting other men. This is before the trouble started. Tell me something, what married woman texts and confides in another man about her husband? If the answer is "no wife who wants to stay married" then congratulations you win. This is an untrustworthy and frankly evil person who clearly cares what other people think about her than the one person it should count from and is a very bad judge of character. Especially the fact that Chris, a friend of David's, consistently hits on and touches Anna and she never tells her husband about the creep. This would be fine if she was written to be an attention craving whore, but she's not supposed to be so ... yeah, badly written character.
Look if you're going to write an NTR story, make your characters smart. Either make them cunning or innocent/honest, and susceptible to corruption, but above all smart. Stupid characters are insanely frustrating to deal with in an NTR and sadly they're the easiest ones to write into this scenario because intelligent people figure shit out pretty fast. I feel like this is my constant complaint with these types of stories. Dev do yourself a favor and play through "A Mother's Love" to see how a corruption path/s should evolve. It's a story that evolves from a wife's attempt to stop her daughter dating. She has some much dissatisfaction from a husband who ignores her, literally treats her like she's his maid, and shows a women grappling with the immorality of sleeping with not only a younger man but her daughter's boyfriend and unable to come to grips with "is it lust or love." Sure the pacing is off and there are other factors involved (including NTR on the MC from his girlfriend if he neglects her too long fyi) but it's pretty damn good, NTR included. But see, David isn't written like that. He's attentive and caring. He doesn't expect his wife to do everything in the house. He's more than happy to have sex with his wife whenever the opportunity knocks. So why isn't he smart enough to tell the bitch at the gym, "stay the fuck away from me, never talk to me again," actually mean it and put his bag in a locker after the first interaction, especially when his wife asks why he smells like perfume? Also, what guy wouldn't smell perfume all over his gym bag? Does David have no sense of smell? That immediately got me asking, "what the fuck?" Why the hell, after insisting that she stay away from him, did he immediately, without the readers input, decide to dance with her. Dude, come on. Two brain cells. That's all I'm asking for. How this group of deplorable characters plan is working at all at this point is baffling to me.
And here's the part that should be in this and simply isn't. The story should revolve around isolating the characters from each other. Send him away on business. Send her on a company trip when he returns. Have them both confiding in other people about how difficult it is to be basically a single parent when the other is gone. Have him confiding in someone he and the reader thinks they can trust. This should include women from work on David's end. Hell throw in the chubby receptionist from Anna's work too while you're at it. Right now, events seem to be happening too quickly. And a lot of trust is being put into complete strangers and the antagonists playing against both characters are so corrupt and disgustingly awful I feel like I'm having to make every choice possible to not allow them to get their way. When in reality I should be looking forward to the next pick-up line for either David or Anna. And here's the thing. These characters are so unbelievably disgusting, I'm willfully denying myself any future payoff even if it means Anna and David get divorced over this nonsense, so long as no one gets their way.
These outside forces should be subtle in their lust after the MCs without direct intentions of getting the other person to cheat with them right away ... perhaps with the exception of maybe one or two characters. As it is these relationships are so ham-fistedly written I read this VN with utter confusion as to why the MCs are so frustratingly stupid. Why hasn't Anna immediately put one and one together that David says he's innocent and yet Chris is the one sending her proof and he also trying to fuck her constantly? How is she this dumb. Why hasn't David asked her who the hell she's texting all of the time or just taken her phone? Why hasn't the thought that she's cheating crossed his mind? The point is that corruption should become a growing desire over time for all characters. Ask "how do I explain why Anna (it's always Anna too btw) is okay with this guy feeling her up?" "What happened between these two characters to make this behavior okay right now?"
Unfortunately, this requires a lot of build up and readers aren't likely to put up with it. Heck with as thin as the content is now I wouldn't be surprised if readers have already dropped off. The main way to fix this story is to have flash backs be the build up. Make Anna promiscuous in her youth. And didn't want to settle down until she met David. Have those be the initial point where lust was planted for some characters. Not a quick, "oh hey, Anna, let me feel you up a second. You won't tell your husband ever and won't mind, right?" Create something with substance. And let David have genuine reactions to people he knows are working against him. Give him a chance to record shit on his phone to play for his wife to prove his innocence. AND PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, let him confront his accusers for crying out loud. Make Anna smart cause right now she's dumb as a bag of hammers. Make her willing to use her sex appeal to get what she wants a work and let the reader decide where to draw the line. Have her reflect on past events to let her see how she's constantly being abused and does nothing about it. I've literally known girls like this and they couldn't add 2 and 2 together yet you expect me to believe Anna's a business woman? Right. Give her a conscience (she has none right now) and let the reader decide if she's willing to ignore that conscience because the pleasure was fun enough to ignore the guilt. Either that or make her a literal cucking whore who has been begging to get fucked by every other man ever since she got pregnant. I don't see this being an enjoyable continuing story in my opinion. I just can't see a woman smart enough to be a working professional, high up in a company, be so dumb as to not realize she's being played right away. If the objective is to just have a cucking story, take away choice. Choices don't matter in a story about a willfully ignorant slut and man whore. So if that's the point, tell that story. But don't ask the reader to participate when the choices don't reflect how any human being would react. And that's the problem with most NTR stories, they have to be grounded in reality a bit in order to work and that reality has to do with human interactions. It could be in a fantasy setting and the same issues would apply. So the narrator needs to focus on telling a compelling story to get the reader invested and believe what each character is doing is actually what they themselves might do.
Anyway, the things to like about this are the models. Those are great. The story has some legs but needs a lot of improvement. But VN didn't crash on me so that's a plus. As always, I wish the dev nothing but the best and hope they've found their audience. If you like this VN do the dev a favor and write a review. Also keep in mind these VNs are uploaded for us to enjoy for free so if you enjoyed it think about kicking back some support to the dev.
