VN - Ren'Py - A Touch of Magic [v0.1 Ch.1 Remake] [First Sin, JAD]

The game is visually very good and the setting and concept of the story is also very nice. However the actual story is not so great. The pacing of the story is very weird and feels wrong sometimes. Some characters are also very cliche.

In the first phase of the game we saw 4 other male characters other than the MC. However these characters were so blatantly and hilariously nerfed it feels comical. Hamada is too old, his son is a bratty bitch boy, the cop is a straight up asshole and the orc friend/bodyguard of the MC is impotent. The MC seems like a good enough guy but not so much so that every woman would throw themselves at him however that is exactly what seems to happen. The story is set up as if to show that the MC is a chad end every other character is useless. This makes the story kinda boring.

The other issue i feel is that the dialogue is to simplistic. I think English is not the dev's main language and the issue stems from this fact. However, if they can, i believe the dev should try to work with a writer to help with the dialogue.

The game has a lot of potential however if the above issues are not addressed the game might just end up as a good looking but boring slopfest.

As of the current version as a first time player, its a pretty inticing game.

• I highly enjoy the story concept but everything seems very rushed. You are kind of thrown into the story as if there was an introduction or a whole other part of the story that is just missing beforehand.
• To me there is very little in the way in character development. Alot of the dialog is made out to be that most of the characters have some history or relationship together/with the MC, but it comes of as... stale. It makes it hard to feel anything to any of the characters, MC included.
• There are a few instances at the start , for a few dialog lines, when the name doesnt match who is speaking but other than that the rest of the dialog has no mistakes... to my knowledge.
• As for the renders, i think they are great. Lighting and perspective is all good. All LI's so far are very attractive. MC's appearance seems to fit the character personality.
• Although few, i think the sex scenes could be a little longer, feels like a two pump chump job.

Overall it was pretty enjoyable, i would recommend playing and i want to see the story continue; eventhough it was like a multiple part series rushed into one short episode.

Till now it's a good game AND I'm pretty hopeful for it as well, also I'm not shy from giving 5-star rating, if I can support by voting then so be it, cause everything's free, so might as well be appreciative about it

This novel simply doesn’t make sense to me, and maybe it's just not my type. The storyline feels chaotic, with too many topics to cover and an overwhelming number of female characters that fail to engage me. From the very start, I was bored. The pacing feels off, and the narrative structure is disjointed, almost as if it’s a demo that hasn’t been fully developed. Some of the descriptions of female characters are particularly off-putting, as they come across as unattractive or unappealing. Overall, the book lacks the coherence and depth I expect from a well-crafted story. It might appeal to some, but it certainly wasn’t for me.

Version EA 2024/01/26

“A Touch of Magic” is currently very short, with about an hour of playtime. Additionally, only 2 out of 6 achievements can be unlocked (checked the source code to validate this).
In its current form, this content is what a demo should've been. But, that said, I'm seeing potential.

The current game hints at a world with lore and a rich history, though it's too soon to say if this writer can make it stand out. I have the impression that the writer tried to force some references into the story to indicate this, but this didn't have the desired effect on me.

Example:
“I get that Ammuntadoris are extremely dangerous, but they wouldn't betray their lord.”
“They would risk a fight against the Erinyes.”
“And your Aegis would make it nearly impossible.”

These three lines are said after each other, with no real explanation of who or what it's about. At least 'Aegis' is explained through context later on.
My main worry with this is that this is an Early Access game, as such it'll take months for the next update to come along. By that time, players will have forgotten these references.

I've found one sex scene in the current content where the MC got a BJ. This scene happens across a few renders with both people being entirely silent. Except for the woman saying “Not a single drop wasted.” there was no indication that ejaculation happened. This silence could be in-line with the main character's personality, but then writing out a thought like “Let's see how she handles me climaxing unexpectedly;” would've added something to this scene.

The renders themselves look good with plenty of attention to detail. However, most renders look washed-out, as if the gamma setting was too high.

All things considered, I do think this game shows promise. However, for its current price, I suggest waiting, unless you want to support an up-and-coming dev with your disposable income.

Suggestions:
- Try to edit the renders in photoshop to make them less bright/foggy.
- Add a “lore book” where names and terms are explained, and make these words clickable in the text. This way players can easily look up words that are unfamiliar, or they have difficulty remembering after a new update.
- Show us more of the MC's motivation and thought process. If he knew who delivered the poison, why didn't he immediately call for their whereabouts?
- Please, don't fall in the trap of lore and world building without meaning. If “Ammuntadoris” aren't relevant, we don't need to know what or who they are. Suppose they only come into play in Chapter 4, it's too soon to introduce them now.

In the first phase, when I enter the game on the main window, the animation lags, and secondly, the story and content is very short, resembling more a demo than a game. There are many things to improve, I'm waiting to see the new updates and I have time to change my mind.

This is promising!!

Pro
- Albino girl finally!!! I have been waiting for Albino girl to happen in AVN industry and here I got her
- Render is beautiful
- Story still short but it's interesting start
- Many good looking girl

Cons
- Sex scene is not animated and can improved the timing, shot and sex dialogue too
- BG music isn't fit the story and scene

Thanks for a good work! can't wait for more