Great concept piece, but it needs a lot of work and polish.
The event progression system is crude, the green and purple font is horrendous and the navigation needs a massive overhaul. That map needs to be destroyed entirely.
That said, the characters and topics discussed are actually great, especially if the relationship between the MC and Nea can be chosen to remain friends or move on to more.
Which brings me to my next point. I really hope when Luxee gets done with PL, he'll be able to put more time into making this one more choice based instead of the current "Linear Events". The MC is a little too reluctant in some choices, and some decision making by the player would help move the story better. Obviously he's always going to be a little apprehensive about the little sister, but he is just BLIND and OBLIVIOUS about Tess, and it's annoying.
The events could be a little longer, and less "And then they did this for a few hours" moments. Conversations should last a while, text based choices so you can talk to the characters more. There has got to be at least a few questions for Nea that the MC would want to ask.
The MC is also a little too Beta for how he's designed physically. Another reason why choices would be a good thing.
Concentrate more on the characters, get rid of the current nav/color schemes and take a look at other games like Becoming a Rockstar and see how they did their nav and progression system.
PL is amazing, so I know you can improve this one too.
The event progression system is crude, the green and purple font is horrendous and the navigation needs a massive overhaul. That map needs to be destroyed entirely.
That said, the characters and topics discussed are actually great, especially if the relationship between the MC and Nea can be chosen to remain friends or move on to more.
Which brings me to my next point. I really hope when Luxee gets done with PL, he'll be able to put more time into making this one more choice based instead of the current "Linear Events". The MC is a little too reluctant in some choices, and some decision making by the player would help move the story better. Obviously he's always going to be a little apprehensive about the little sister, but he is just BLIND and OBLIVIOUS about Tess, and it's annoying.
The events could be a little longer, and less "And then they did this for a few hours" moments. Conversations should last a while, text based choices so you can talk to the characters more. There has got to be at least a few questions for Nea that the MC would want to ask.
The MC is also a little too Beta for how he's designed physically. Another reason why choices would be a good thing.
Concentrate more on the characters, get rid of the current nav/color schemes and take a look at other games like Becoming a Rockstar and see how they did their nav and progression system.
PL is amazing, so I know you can improve this one too.