I say this in complete sincerity; This is written like the author has never had a conversation with another human being. An example is when you get the choice to joke with Julia and this is the text;
You decide to lighten the mood with a bit of humor, hoping to get a smile from your roommate's sister. You hope she has a silly sense of humor, or else this will not work like you intended to.
"So, what do you think of your brother's new roommate? Pretty cool, huh?" you joke and suck in your breath.
She laughs, a playful glint in her eye. "You're definitely something," she teases back, clearly enjoying the light-hearted conversation and the attention. You let out a sigh of relief.
These text based games ride or die on their writing, and treating 'so I'm pretty cool, huh?' as a joke, let alone one with the tension of performing heart surgery, sums up the quality here.