VN - Ren'Py - Completed - Avalon [v8.2] [Lockheart]

Dev shows some talent with the renders, and artwork, it's quite good. Story is not. MC is kind of cardboard cutout, and not very relatable at all. Avalon is also not remotely realistic, so damaged, but so perfect. The women, with the exception of the drunken adopted sister, are all pretty flawless, just damaged by the evil Patriarchy. Too much girl on girl, the lewd scenes are pretty boring. Best girl by far is Leah, the actual sister, but she gets little content and no real ending. If Dev made her what if ending the actual ending, game might have been saved. Overall theme of Trauma and recovery was handled better and more believably in Acting Lessons. Hope the Dev does better on next game, cause they definitely have talent for the technical side of things. Maybe get Eva Kiss to do the writing?

Wholesome game, interesting characters to whom i believe and see not as ragdolls but as people in their own right. Animations are okay, whole plot is good and logic, overall a good feeling from the game.

Definitely a star attraction here. Render quality is great and the animations are generally solid. Models are definitely hot and well done. I actually like the fairly linear story and focus on a few central figures. Overall, this is a high quality experience that ranks high up there in terms of production values. 10/10 would recommend.

Wow. This game is something. Let me start with quality of renders which is perfect as well as animations. Music background is also very nice and fitting. But boy, oh boy, the story. In short? Breathtaking. It's completely different than most of games of this type. Absolutely beautiful story telling, fabulous characters desing as well as development. I enjoyed every second of this game as well as easter eggs. Devs managed to create very touching and unique atmosphere and I cannot do anything but praise them for that. I must point out how real characters are, with they fears and misstakes but also pluses and good qualities. How can be fragile and broken but together, they can manage... Really a virtuos novel with extraordinary storytelling and plot. Unique, symphatethic, full of good jokes and humorous and absolutely gorgeously put. For me TOP in the genre. Really, really good job, I can't do differently than give a full score.
PS.: And remember... 'God is a big life giving penis.'

10/10. [v8.1].

This is one of the best-written VNs on the site. I have some minor critiques, but if you enjoy story-driven adult VNs, you really shouldn't miss this one.

The girls are hot and the renders are well-made. The animations range from ok to great.

The music is generally good, though there's one track I found annoying as a single musical phrase repeats over and over.

The way choices are done from a systems sense is, in my opinion, the gold-standard. Important choices are marked that way and there are no point systems to worry about.

I don't want to criticize this point too much because experimentation in the genre is good and it's not like this killed the VN or anything, but the choice between secondary love interests could have been done better. We make the choice before meeting either of them and then it's mostly a strict replacement of a few scenes. There isn't enough content different between the two routes to justify it in my opinion. This could probably have been done better in a more traditional way such as making the choice later while still having both characters appear in the narrative.

Similarly, I think the "what if" 5th route could have been handled better. It's really more like a 2nd route vs. 4 variations which are similar enough to each other to count as a single route. That's good, but it might have felt better as a new game+ option from the main menu rather than just being tacked on the end of each other route. This is a very minor point though.

The writing is, in general, excellent. However, the "multiple protagonists" thing didn't work for me. It felt like the viewpoint issue I think a lot of these games have, only worse. Rather than feeling like first person or third person limited, it feels like third person omniscient. Better would be to stay in Uncle's viewpoint whenever he's in a scene rather than suddenly seeing Avalon's thoughts. Or at least not jumping back and forth between them mid-scene.

Ok, let's talk about Penny. She's simultaneously a great character and a frustrating one. The issue is she's too hyper-competent. No one can ever be better than her at anything. She can't be taken by surprise, beaten in a fight, outsmarted or anything like that. Even during her backstory when it would have made sense for her to barely speak her native language, she spoke better English than professors I've had.

However, I really liked the portrayal of the antagonists. Frankly, the rapist's daughter should have gone to prison as an accomplice on multiple counts, but other than that, the interplay between her and the two goons was great. I found myself wanting more of their story and relationship.

On a technical note, the version posted here did not work on my system. It's apparently due to the developer using a known-bad version of Ren'Py. I was able to create a working version using the Ren'Py SDK v. 7.3.5 as per some advice on the forum here. Hopefully the developer will create an updated release with a better version of Ren'Py, but I'll copy the steps I followed to resolve the issue just in case:

1) Download the Ren'Py SDK v. 7.3.5
2) Put you game into renpy sdk folder
3) Run renpy sdk.
4) Choose game (like avalon) in the left list.
5) Build distribution.
6) Choose what platform you need.

A VN where its best features are the characterization of its interesting characters, the humor, the interaction between them and the positivity with which it faces the traumas of their pasts.
Short, but not cut short.
The models are correct, personalized and the scenes are funny.
A good VN in all aspects and I wish the developers a lot of luck and that they find the support to be able to continue making more.
Those who or which has been interested in participating in the forum at all times.
Thank you!

Have to say, when I downloaded this I was pretty skeptical, and within 5 minutes was already pleasantly proven wrong.

This VN has everything you could ask for; Good music, an emotional story, convincing dialogue and writing, characters that you can actually care about, and a very good psychological insight into the mind of someone suffering from trauma. While I personally was never sexually abused, I myself had to face 7 years of bullying from middle school throughout high school, and I empathize greatly with the MC. On top of that, it's refreshing to have a protagonist that isn't some cliche fuckboy, but a mountain of a man hiding a broken psyche. He's the guy everyone would consider a best friend once you get to know him, and giant with a heart of gold.

The girls are equally convincing, each one having their own distinct personalities and chemistry with the MC, as well as with each other. I appreciate that none of them have those over-the-top hourglass figures where the breasts and ass are impossible to achieve without plastic intervention. It's a refreshing take considering how many VNs of similar nature do that hourglass shit and frankly, I'm getting tired of it.

My only gripe with this VN, are the sex scenes. Not only are they few and far in between, but I personally find them to be a little boring. We don't get any sweet close-up shots or risque positions, and the animated sequence seems a little too short on the loop, making it look choppy and rushed like the characters are in a hurry to finish. However, this isn't enough for me to deduct a star, because the story is just that excellent.

Definitely worth a download, although I wouldn't say it's much of a fappable VN. You would spend more time feeling bad instead of horny reading this, though it might be the point the author is making. Either way, I would recommend this for the story and characters alone, not so much the sex. You might delete this VN to make space for a sexier game afterwards tho.

I'm just going to say that this is such a sweet story, I generally go for darker stuff, ( a character flaw I guess) but this really is a good story, with some cute humor, and it is not rushed....
I like the characters I generally go for female Protagonist as that's what I relate too, but the MC is fantastic, not a looser, not a jerk (although those can be fun to play sometimes lol) the characters have some depth. Its got some humor without being just stupid.
( I've never really given reviews so just putting my opinion out there cause I enjoyed it that much!)

I really love this VN.

The writing and humour are excellent - just the right blend of silly and serious. In particular, I liked how the dev took a very serious subject and made it something that was addressed while keeping it light enough you can laugh at the puns and "bad" jokes.

The girls are gorgeous (especially Dallas) and I liked that the Penny elements didn't take themselves too seriously - there are plenty of "realistic" VNs out there already.

Overall, I can't wait for the next VN and this I think will remain in my top 10 on here for quite some time.

The history is nice even if it's filled with lots of unecessary drama, everyone is or was broken in a way, the mc have rather funny moments that give some personality to him but the way he interacts with some women is rather cringe and even hurt to see, for exemple the first time with octavia it really hurts to see him acting like that I can see that is was broken and afraid of lose people due to the way he is portrait as someone that want attention and be accept and afraid of losing people but still if you have her completely naked in front of you, if she is the one that lead you to the bed you are still afraid of touching her really?
The very few straight sex scenes the game have are very weak, almost no foreplay and when he finally put the megalodon inside it's 3 pumps and both reach orgasm, even a virgin can do more than 3 pumps.
It's a 7 acts slow burn to finally stick the megalodon inside avalon pussy and it's a very weak scenes for such a slow burn and on top of that in dallas route mono or poly route with dallas you just bang avalon one time and the game ends, in octavia poly path you get avallon pussy 2 times but still weak scenes.
You are burn for 7 acts for only 1 or2 very weak sex scenes with avallon depend on the route you choose.
I like penny but still to much screen time for someone you can't pursue, what I can gather from that is just trying to promote is next game that is centered in her but this isn't her story it's avallon and byron history.
Liked a lot dallas and octavia but unfortunately they weren't that develop in their relationship and in the game, if they used less time in penny and more in the other 2 LI would be a lot better.
The game himself is more of a kinect novel than a vn since you just have one real choice that is going for a mono or poly relationship and the others choices are little text differences in form of little jokes.

History : It's still nice but since it have to much unecessary drama and don't develop that much their day by day it's just adding a bit of drama in every scene I will give it a 3.

Renders : I like it a lot, you have a mc with a nice appearance and that looks like a man's and not a skinny tennage or a old fart like in slot of vn. Avallon, Dallas and Octavia are all very pretty and hot but in some renders Octavia goes from a 9 to a 2, the color, hair and face gets pretty messed up. Even with octavia looks messed up in some scenes I will still give a 4 in the renders.
Choices : Well you just have really one real choice during the entire game and the other one are just text wise jokes diferen so I give it a 1.
Sex scenes : Very few and the few you have are very weak. The lesbian scenes have more work in it than the straight ones but not that much better so overall will give it a 1.

Overall I think if they worked more in the few sex scenes they have, developed more the characters day by day, their relationship growing, how they find more about each other, less drama and less penny screen time would be a lot of a better game, still enjoyed the game but cant give more than a 3 to it even if I'm more thorn to a 2.5 but the art of the girls and render pulled me to a 3.

At heart a fairly conventional story (for this community) but lifted above the pack by a few things:

- A fairly coherent plot
- Characters that you actually care about
- Some good modelling (which improved significantly during the course of this story)
- Some quirky side-stories.

Loved the story and the artstyle even though it's not going for realism. Highly emotional story with some interesting twists.

Did one playthough, now doing a replay on another path

Story: 5/5
Art: 4/5

This game looks great. But this story is boring. 4 hours into the story and the only thing that has happened is a little through the clothes rubbing and I've seen a pair of boobs. I mean, I get it... if I simply wanted to rub one out, I could have just hopped on Pornhub or something. But Jeezus, throw a dog a bone, here. How long must I click for my buff man-baby to get his pole polished??? And so I click on... bored, not at all aroused, and kind of just hoping for the game to end.

I thought this was a very interesting story and content. Early graphics were a little less than, but got better later. The story though was awesome. Very interesting story that kept me very interested. The characters were all really well done with interesting backstories. Even the bad guys had a good story. The writers are talented and I will definitely check out any of their future work.

I get that this is in the "porn" game genre, but if I just wanted to watch animated sex there is 1000s of places I can go to get off. I don't even bother with stories that have no drama or heart to them. I know that is not everyone's cup of porn, but for me I love the stories, I love the drama, I love having a little control over the story to morph it more towards my personality.

Avalon was just a refreshing story, one that still has the conclusion to come. Great job guys!


Updated
Wow, just wow. After replaying the final version of the game, I wish I could give a 6th star. Very well done. The different paths are very good and the "alternate" after story was just absolutely great. Will definitely check out anything they do in the future!!

Started out really promising, with interesting characters, artwork and story. Sadly it went way off the rails with a rather annoying minor character becoming the centerpiece of the story, despite it being named "Avalon". It probably should just be named "Penny and friends" now.

I'll preface this by saying will Not be playing ver. 7.5. I'm a fan, I actually love the aesthetics, I would love to see a fantasy game done by this artist. Yes they kinda have elfish looks, but I dig elves, so bonus for me. #nobimbos

I will say, kind of a sloow burn. Lots of slice of life moments. I somewhat sympathize with the characters, but at the same time I'm wondering, where's the Lewds? I know, I know, obviously I'm a degenerate deviant, but I'm not here for the feels.
I like the feels, I'm all about good story crafting, but I'm also here for the Fap. Feels and Fap, not feels, feels, fap, feels, feels.

Hence, gonna let it simmer, marinate a bit, hopefully in 2021 we get some saucy storytelling. Just another reason to get past 2020. 3 1/2 stars if im honest, but 4 cause I like it's potential.

The more I've thought about this game, the less I've liked it.

The first thing that should be obvious, and isn't really a criticism at all, is that this is simply not a porn game. Not even in the porn-with-plot sense. It's more plot with occasional smut, but even the smut will suffer to help further the plot. It mostly bears mention for being mixed in with so much porn. It's not a bad thing, it's just different. But if you want one and get the other, you probably won't be too happy. Hence, mentioning it first here.

On to the actual criticism.

The biggest problem I have with this VN is that the format (VN) just doesn't work with what the intended goal is. VN's are particularly good at increasing the connection between the player and the MC. It gets very self-inserty very easily. They are also pretty bad at complexity. There's just not enough words to do too much. If you grab a big old novel and just slap it into a VN line by line it would be awful. These are just things you get, and give up, when you use the medium. But in this particular game, these factors combine to more or less rob it of it's point.

The VN is so focused around the MC being emotionally traumatized, even unstable, and the fact he needs immediate and direct support. The problem is that between the high degree of self-insertion and the lack of complexity, it just feels wrong. It's like you're being told you, the player, are actually in the middle of some emotional crisis and are actively falling... except you don't even know why because the VN hasn't even told you yet. Instead of being an emotional experience, it's more of a bewildering emotional blank. The self-insertion ends up fighting against itself and ends up just leaving you confused.

Then the other bits. This contributes a bit to the above, in addition to being kind of it's own issue. Everything happens with maximum drama. It's falling down on the floor crying as another character says they've been through similar things too and it's fine and you'll get through it too and yada yada yada. The people are are all "I'll always be a little broken, but I can be happy now!" and that kind of jazz. And it's pretty constant. This just amplifies the inability to connect with the MC, in addition to being kind of grating even with the other characters. There's just no break from it.

Well, there is. It's the final major criticism I have, actually. The breaks. The VN doesn't go to cuter, lighter moments between the main cast once the maximum drama needs a break. If it's the main characters, it's maximum drama. Instead, the breaks come in the form of some random meaningless side characters that stay around for far too long with a single slapstick routine that just never ends. I don't care about them. They don't matter.

So instead of getting through the over-the-top drama that you can't really connect with because you don't even know why it is that you are currently on the floor apparently a half-step from contemplating suicide again, and then getting rewarded with a nice cute scene of the main characters actually experiencing some of that happiness they keep claiming they've found with each other... you get to go spend nearly equal time with a few random mooks that just repeatedly get beaten up in absurd ways.

I can see what they were going for, and it isn't a bad target but... it just clashes so hard with the medium, tries way too hard, and then doesn't give give you the promised payoff. Just... no.

I do like this little VN, but I gotta admit I find it kind of funny reading about how it is fantastically written and the best VN ever and all that, when in reality it is so incredibly cheesy and the dialogue gets really awkward all the time.

Not to mention how often the characters just react to situations in completely unbelievable ways.

And don't get me started on Penny, yes at times she is funny, but it's annoying how much time and attention she gets in a VN where she is supposedly just a side character.
And yes, she is a total Mary Sue, she is so absolutely OP that it is ridiculous.
And she isn't the only one, there's also Leah and Octavia who at least have strong Mary Sue traits.

As for the renders, they are okay, nothing special, but not bad either.
The girls ARE attractive, though all rather on the small and slim side, not that this is bad, it's actually a nice change of pace, considering all the giant bewbs in other games.

They do all have pretty angular and pointy faces, I guess you could call it Elvish or Elven, which does make them look a bit weird from time to time.

Overall, this is an enjoyable little VN, but the average rating does not quite reflect its flaws. I was tempted to give it two stars to reflect that, but it would be unfair to the game and the dev, so three it is.

I have to give you 5 stars... because the story is amazing... deep sadness... the funny side of life... and now, since I'm playing the last 3 hours, I am a part of this game, of the story and the characters... thank you so much, that I am a part of this tale...

Excellent game - great characters, beautiful renders, intelligent and witty dialogue, interesting story... I enjoyed it very much. I really enjoy well-written games that are not simple porn. Keep up the great work! Thanks!