Ren'Py - Barbarian Conquests [v0.3.2] [EpicLust]

Writing: 7/10
Imagery: 7/10
Gameplay: 7/10
Kinks: 6/10
Overall: 7/10

What is best in life? Resource management and pumping loads in your mom.

Pretty much a Conan the barbarian opening, that changes around the time Conan decided to go off on his own. Here, the horse cock barbarian returns to his old village, that is still standing, and reconnects with his family (by fucking them), becomes the leader (by killing the current one), and must now lead his tribe either into a more civilized direction or go whole hog barbarian and be the bane of many a Civilization players early games.

There’s plenty of sex, and the models are all proportioned out to be pretty crazy. Women have huge balloon tits, some have more muscles than Mr. Olympia, the MC has a dick that could rival Mr. Hands, but has the hair style of a moody punk goth in high school. It certainly makes the game unique from others with a similar plot, but, at time it can be a bit eye grating.

Now there is some humor in the plot, obviously played out with the exaggerated proportions, but after the initial opening you’re hit with the resource management overworked map and suddenly that horny smile goes away. It’s not hard management mind you, but, it is very sandbox-y and I’m more of a Dragon Age 2 kind of guy. Linear paths with replayability based on who you want to bang, and here, could have been based on the civ vs barb paths. With later game locking you out of making some decision based on what side you were in the majority on.

I was only able to start exploring the map before I started to lose interest, but to sandbox lovers, this is your jam.

Game is interesting and offers some unique experience but it fails as a porn game. Firstly, most characters and main character especially have ridiculous proportions that makes sex scene unattractive and not sexy. Seeing women opening their mouths so they would fit a football ball is at best funny (although to dev's credit the game is a parody and doesn't take itself seriously, sometimes I did chuckle thanks to his writing).

Secondly gameplay is not that good. It has interesting premise but in the end we must click on locations rather randomly hoping that an event will trigger. There are quests where we're explicitly told what to do but most of the time we're exploring blindly and we need to save-scum to see anything worthy. E.g. during my playthrough I've chosen to be civilised but that cut me off from most of the content and I haven't seen a chance to improve my other stat. So I reloaded, went full barbarian and the experience improved, especially so since I got the chance to "cheat" and transfer my barbarian point to a civilized one after passing a check earlier that required 2 barbarian points. But this is not a good design,

What dev should do is allow us to explore as we see fit, giving us opportunities to improve one of these stats and completing quests in one way or the other. Instead we're too much gated by skill checks and are very restricted in our playthrough.

The third and last huge flaw of this game are bugs. I've encountered a game breaking bug that prevented me from progressing where I had no chance of continuing the game because there was no exit option, I could only trigger the sex scene with the three sorceresses.

All in all it's not a bad game, renders aren't bad (although ridiculous proportions makes it almost unplayable for me) and the premise is interesting. The game has potential but at its current state I can't rate it higher than 3/5.

I had my doubts at first, considering the goofiness and absurd proportions, but I ended up playing the game for its legit strategic fun.
I also had a lot of fun with the huge gayness of it, being probably the gayest straight game there is.
I'll definitely go for another run once it's finished, since there is room for a lot more.

Fans of EpicLust's work have another great game at their disposal. His style has been further improved and remains unique: images of magnificent bodies (which no one else can create so well), exciting animations, intriguing situations, interesting plot development, playful and intelligent irony.

I wouldn't say this was sexy for me personally but...It was funny af.
I won't be rating this game using my usual parameters.

Story 7/10

Decent Conan parody, it's not directly paraodying a movie or comic, it's somewhat different.

Art/Renders 6/10

This dude's dick is so massive, gets a titjob when he fucks them in the ass at the same time. They dislocate their mouths to suck his dick, good thing half of these girls have a hidden portal in their mouth cause that "rod" wouldn't fit otherwise.

v0.2.1

The art looks great but the gameplay is very unintuitive, UI is confusing, the two phase turn based system is janky, because you're limited to what actions you can do during each phase. Sometimes you get 2 actions a day, other times, you don't. You can't freely do whatever available quests you want, the game mechanics really hold you back from progressing freely.

Clicking the map first prevents you from being able to save or do things in the village. Praying at the shrine locks you out of exploration. Sending a scout to one place locks them from being able to switch to another location. Often times, it's not clear what the conditions are to progress a quest, so you waste turns exploring a place without knowing what per-requisite steps are missing. Which then requires lots of saving and reloading just to know what you should be doing. The UI and turn system is so bad, that you're constantly fighting the system to be able to play the game

This is really well done. Achieves what it sets out to do, the mechanics are a bit janky and there should be more ways of improving civilization / barbarian through the free roam but is otherwise solid. Good amount of content given its been out less than a year

Beautiful women and some surprisingly involved mechanics.

The sex scenes are very well animated and the developer has definitely improved since his previous titles.

I do find the humor a little juvenile though... Suk-Yu-Dong is the name of an asian prostitute >.> Maybe a little more nuance on some of the humor.

There is quite a few pop culture references (rather overt ones) and this games seems like a big homage to the original Conan movie.

Overall, very good game!

I think the author has finally achieved the perfect setting for his writing style.

This is one of the funniest VNs I've ever played, and a Conan the Barbarian-inspired game totally fits his style, I can't wait for more.

Obviously, you aren't playing this game to explore deeper meanings and connections, but it nails exactly what it sets out for.

I'm just laughing for almost the whole game lmao
This shit is just so silly and stupid, but interesting enough to keep me playing. The plot is simple, there's nothing complicated going on. Character's designs are hit and miss for me, some are good but some are too much, like they came straight from Baki. MC's gigantic dong is funnier than it should, I feel bad for woman who got her asshole destroyed by MC.

Conclusion: It's fun, I want to see more

At first I thought that it is one of those games where protagonist has a huge dick and the women have soccer ball sized big tits but I still gave it a go since it had the pregnancy and the lactation tag. This game does a lot of things right for me even though there are flaws in the anatomical design of the women. Some of the women look awesome, like Queen Helena and her daughter. My favorite of all is Deirdra and her pregnancy/lactation scenes. Other lactation scenes are good too but lack intimacy like that of Deirdra. Other sex scenes are flat out awkward at times. Like a 50% of the game's sex scenes are good while others are not that much. Dialogues can be improved. There is little gameplay and the worker management system is kind of boring and can be improved too. The story is generic and that is completely okay. I am patiently waiting what you do with your future updates. If I like what I see, I might subscribe. Please make reasonable changes in the female body designs, need more women like Deirdra or Helena. And more of lactation/pregnancy content.

VERSION: 0.1.1
SUMMARY: Pure bullshit, funny, outrageous that serve fine for a mindless fap.
PROS:

1. Models look good, albeit totally out of proportion, but if you play this you knew what you signed up for.
2. Written well
3. Dialogue is good if not totally stupidly superficial and plays on tropes and scenes from well known movies.
4. Mechanics and game play are well done also, clear effort was made and feels better than the first games the dev made.

CONS:

1. Dialogue is often so bad its beyond cringe-worthy (subjective of course)

FINAL THOUGHTS:

• Very much a subjective kind of game/vn. Some will love it, others hates it. While I do not hate it, i find it so stupid and outrageous that I can't like it.
• This will appeal to those who seek little to know depth to a VN and only want carnage, blood and fucking with sexual organs the size of limbs. I personally am not a fan but thought id give it a bash.
• My review is based on what I believe the game is about, to who it caters and what it tries to be or do. While I do not not subscribe to this kind of game personally, its done pretty well.

Excellent experience on the animation sequences with change of pov and scene plus faster choices. Great music choices and original scenes from the actual movie about Conan's life. Loved the renders and characters and the ambition for a battle system to be implemented on the future. I think there must be a guide later on how to manage the village and a walk-through for character's routes. Loved the humor in the writing. Best wishes on the next updates. We the "Barbarians" feel proud about the "Conan...what's best in life" motto and the gore scenes on the duels!!!

of all the EpicLust games this one so far has been the least "in my personal preference" area (I really loved the premises of BotB and Cockham) but still a great, high quality game with lots of fun elements. Very enjoyable, great concept and hot renders. Highly recommend especially if you've enjoyed other EpicLust creations

Great idea, all praises. i like the mechanics. Maybe the best so far from the developer. With a little polish it will be exceptional. Interesting characters, interesting plot, there are elements of humor. The main character will engage in duels, maybe even team fights. Opportunities are open for village upgrades, prestige, equipment and recruitment. A real treat. It's a pity that this is not the main product at the moment. In the last couple of months, nothing more significant appeared on the forum. This game is a real refresher. Honestly, I can't wait for Cockham Heroes to be finished so that the developer can pay full attention to this.

Another Epiclust creation packed with the wry silliness, ridiculous proportions and unapologetically hackneyed universe we have come to know and love. This one is a Conan ripoff which fits those themes perfectly and might shape up to be his best work yet.

I didn't notice any improvements in gfx/anims but it's a very deliberate style of porno and it either works for you or not. For me it unfortunately doesn't, but that didn't ruin my enjoyment of the game. Fortunately Epiclust's writing and humor have surpassed their already excellent (for f95 games) standard, and it's always good to see someone getting better at their craft.

Not really a fan of the sandbox/management elements, but again this is Epiclust's forte and it's implemented well even though I didn't bother playing through to the end esp cus it's the first release. I give it a 4/5 rounded up to 5/5 to countervene the inevitable unreasonable 1 stars. Cheers and bully to ya mate.

Love the opening. Seeing all the pictures of all the beautiful ladies and exotic locations. And the music is good to. Gets you pumped for a hard world out there.

And I did get a laugh out of DEV-EL-OPPER calling out the player for not being over the age of eighteen. I am actually kind of surprised I have never seen this happen before where a wizard would break the forth wall to the player in a medieval world. Even like how the wizard says that the MC was based on him when he was younger. Makes DEV-El-OPPER mysterious. Is he telling the truth and grew up in this world and was quite muscular as a teenager? Or is he blowing smoke out of his ass? Either way, still great personality.

Also like how your curser is an axe. That was a nice touch.

Also love the designs of the characters. Just love their huge breasts but surprisingly medieval outfits. The queen has a more regal outfit while her minions have armor more designed for battle.

And like how the game has humor not just for the wizard but even just the side characters like Thoren. Like when he says, Come, young hero, we must go back down to our village. I’m freezing my nuts up here.” Yeah, after that epic speech about how you are destined to lead your people, he is very practical in saying let’s get out of this freezing cold.

HATE the restriction of not being allowed to see rape and murder. I mean COME ON! This is supposed to be a fantasy game that looks like it is based off of the Cohan series where brutality and death are waiting around every corner. And everyone here playing this game should be over 18. Patreon has always been restrictive to creators to make the content not talk about events that happened. Recommend you move your operations to SubscribeStar or somewhere else where you do not have to worry about towing certain topics. I want to see the bad stuff happening in this world because it gives me the motivation to want to make it a better place.

And for the intro, try to give the evil empire a bit more forces. Just having the princess and one commander attack a village does not make it an overwhelming threat.

This next part was small but really like how MISO-HOR-NEE gives you a massage on your back before having sex. This really does help sell that you were just in a fight to the death a few minutes ago. And even shows the care she has for you. Also love the stomach bulge you give her during her sex scene. And it is animated and very well done. And do love the cum-inflation of her belly after blowing your load.

The sex scenes when you get back to your village are also good. Though if I had to nick pick, do feel like the MC had TOO easy of a time getting back to his village. Odysseus had to take a long 10 years to return to his home. Try to add some challenge to this part. Really make it feel like you are going on a journey to escape from the evil queen’s reach. Needing to avoid patrols and seeing the evil her empire is doing. Could also help the players better get accustomed to fighting in the wild.

For players who want to enjoy this game, recommend lowering your expectations on how much content there is. This is literally the first release and while a lot of great stuff in here, still very much in development.

I like the setting of this game. It has both the map with hexes approach from Apocalypse and the city map of Cockham morphed to a village. Plus the by now well known sense of humour from Epiclust. While completely different from Battle of the Bulges a strategy component is also introduced.

And now he did it again. Crowds of busty women (probably related to the protagonist), stupid intolerant jokes, references to everything (including politics), the beginnings of gameplay that will probably someday be completed (they will not)... everything we like, if summarize.

This is pretty much a "Conan The Barbarian" parody, BUT you get to name your character whatever you want, and there are of course variations in the plot between this and the actual movie. And I got to say, that so far, I found the way that he has done it is pretty damn cool! Plus it looks like it has a lot of potential. By no means will this be a small or even medium sized project. Because it is not just a porn game, but it also seems that it will be a resource management game for your barbarian village, and eventually there will be some animated combat.

Only time will tell though. But with the few examples he has, it looked a lot more in-depth than I originally anticipated it to be. And actually I am finding myself becoming excited about this project.

EpicLust is clearly a fan of the movie. And that's cool for he is really loyal to the source material of Conan, BUT as I said before: he puts his own twist on it. Even though this is just the intro it has been pretty funny as well as intriguing. I appreciate the well balanced injections of humor, serious violence, and of course the sex with big titted babes. The main villianess Queen Kramis looks like the most interesting character that our super ripped MC will eventually encounter, but I figure that won't be till the very end of this epic tale. In the meantime this looks like it's going to become something great. I strongly suggest everyone try the intro and see for themselves. And if you like it, help him out and subscribe to his patreon page. For the Gods are watching you!