VN Ren'Py Abandoned Birthday Present [v0.96] [Spooky666]

[7767]

Overview:
A story about a dad giving his daughter her eighteenth birthday present. If you know what I mean. I am learning how to Daz, and thought I would try to make that learning a story to share​

Thread Updated: 2020-11-26
Release Date: 2020-11-26
Developer: Spooky666 F95zone
Censored: No
Version: 0.96
OS: Windows, Linux, Mac, Android
Language: English
Genre:

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Installation:

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Changelog:

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Developer Notes:

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DOWNLOAD
Win/Linux:

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Android (v0.55 Untested):

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Other: ANDROID

*This unofficial port/version is not released by developer, download at your own risk.

​

 

[Noegrets]

Likely last edit for a week or two. Here are some last minute script corrections. if you send me any script suggestions I will consider updating this post a few times before next release with more pics.

 

[Rochin]

I'm in luck. petite brunette teenage girls with braces in incestuous relationships with their dads is my fetish

 

[StarCreator]

Pretty interesting, will definitely keep an eye on this.
Any plans on some preggo action in the future?

 

[Avaron1974]

That was creepy as fuck.

 

[Noegrets]

Pretty interesting, will definitely keep an eye on this.
Any plans on some preggo action in the future?

Planning = yes. But more in dialog (statement= I’m pregnant!) rather than animation. I am not sure I have those assets.

Sorry it’s too creepy Avaron1974. This is the corruption path. Hopefully I can make it sweeter with another fork next month. Looking for that sweet sweet input!

 

[sassytopia]

I'm in luck. petite brunette teenage girls with braces in incestuous relationships with their dads is my fetish

damn rightt perv !! HAHAHAHA*EVIL LAUGH

 

[おい！]

Daughter goes to school the next day and her friends ask her what she got for her birthday and she replies my dads cock and a bucket load of cum.

 

[sassytopia]

need more text n story, the girl is beast ! keep up the good work !

 

[alfeatcat]

Incest story with cute slender daughter? Absolutely my fetish.
This is immediately on my watch list!

 

[myuhinny]

Some dialog is hard to read as it's placed right on top of her glaring white forehead other spots as well where the words are placed on her bright white skin making it hard to read. A few backgrounds are invisible some pictures are smaller then the game screen some lines are spoken by daddy instead of the daughter like the line -I don't think I want this is spoken by the daddy instead of the daughter. Some pictures the daughter doesn't seem to have any freckles and other ones she has tan lines and no freckles are where the tan lines are like the really close up picture of her crotch.

Game needs rape tag as this sure as hell isn't no fucking corruption path. With lines like

Spoiler

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Even the pictures are labeled rape.

spooky666

You need to get in touch with site admin and let them know that you are a game DEV so that they can give you the developer tag.

 

[Alleyway]

Well... your degenerate heart was in the right place.

I'm going to list some positives and some negatives, and ONLY because you've asked for feedback. I do not want to come off as rude or even sarcastic, so if I come off that way please let me know.

Most of the renders look pretty great. Some are fantastic. There's one with weird smudges on the chest, and another with odd mesh textures on the inner thigh when her leg is stretched. But overall, very solid modeling. Obviously the room around her eventually just completely evaporates, so we'll avoid any further discussion of that for now.

This kink is one of my favorite kinks. Someone earlier mentioned this was creepy, and I give a big, vigorous thumbs-up and wildly agree with that. This is creepy, and bless you for that. Father takes advantage of naive daughter, always fun. And some of the dialogue centered around this theme was fun as well. It's fantasy. It's fake; people should keep that in mind. (Then again, people tell me the same thing about furries and I still hate furry shit, so I think I understand where they're coming from.) This is wildly divorced from reality, which helps diminish some of the creep factor, I think.

Most of the dialogue... So if it's possible, take your script and run it through a word processor. Check it for misspellings and toss it back into the game corrected. If someone is thinking something, put it in italics instead of writing [Thoughts] in the dialogue box. If there's a Dream Sequence, change at least something in the environment or clothing or something beyond writing "Dream" in the dialogue. That whole thing was abrupt and confusing. ("The dick that made you", "dad juice", saucy shit like that, though, I give another big thumbs up. Potent stuff in the right hands. Silly, offensive, erotic. Good writing tools when not overused. Mid-Life Crisis and Parental Love used them to great effect.)

Have you played the game yourself? Like, to check for errors and mistakes? About twenty lines of dialogue are obscured because of the white of her skin. I had to keep using the 'History' function to keep up with what they were saying.

It's fine that you've listed her as eighteen. Given the model, and how she talks, that's probably [definitely] for the best. However, consistently, repeatedly referencing the fact she's eighteen isn't exactly necessary or thrilling. It's just kind of weird, especially when paired with lines of dialogue like, "I used to help you shower! I guess that was only six years ago." He was helping her take baths when she was 12?

This is very rough. I know that you know that this project is rough right now, so there's no reason to be overly critical. I'll stop here. Just, spellcheck is a great ally. As is punctuation. No need to mention she's 18 a dozen times.

Overall, I dig it, and I wish you luck.

 

[Noegrets]

Some dialog is hard to read as it's placed right on top of her glaring white forehead other spots as well where the words are placed on her bright white skin making it hard to read. A few backgrounds are invisible some pictures are smaller then the game screen some lines are spoken by daddy instead of the daughter like the line -I don't think I want this is spoken by the daddy instead of the daughter. Some pictures the daughter doesn't seem to have any freckles and other ones she has tan lines and no freckles are where the tan lines are like the really close up picture of her crotch.

Game needs rape tag as this sure as hell isn't no fucking corruption path. With lines like

Spoiler

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Even the pictures are labeled rape.

spooky666

You need to get in touch with site admin and let them know that you are a game DEV so that they can give you the developer tag.

I made a few edits to tone that down. this is just dialog changes as a .51 to make it slightly less rapey if that's preferred. I will def take the other suggestions from
Alleyway but will add them in with a future update with more images. I put out the game to challenge myself to up my 'game'. Feed back is appreciated.
I kinda hate loading everything to re render in the correct shape. Does anyone have experience on how to change image shape with renpy. Maybe I should just google that. First day of coding blues. Would anyone even play it twice if only the renders where correct size? The renders are fast, but my free time is very minimal.
.51 = less rapey, still a bit coerced though.

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[Cumbledore]

Christ, this somehow managed to creep out even my degenerate ass.

 

[Sung Jin Woo]

needs animation

 

[Noegrets]

spooky666

You need to get in touch with site admin and let them know that you are a game DEV so that they can give you the developer tag.

Not a dev, dont need a tag. I was just seeing what I could throw together over 4 hours on a Sunday. I should have some time next sunday again to make more edits if people are interested in the project. Renders only take 8 min each.

 

[Rangina]

Hey!
About the android versions, besides you switched the links for v7a and v8a, the game is 100% playable. Just take care of the message popped up when installing the apk from the playstore telling you that it doesn't recognize the developer.

And, in the game, use another character named "thoughts" instead of the "[thoughts]" prefix, it looks a lot better.

 

[Noegrets]

Christ, this somehow managed to creep out even my degenerate ass.

Thanks for the feed back! Is this too messed up? I was planning on adding an intro next. (I wrote it too fast spell check is first) Kinda the wrong order to make a good old slow burn. I can make everyone all enthusiastic but hesitant after a lovely ice cream. I think I have the assets for that.

 

[Noegrets]

Hey!
About the android versions, besides you switched the links for v7a and v8a, the game is 100% playable. Just take care of the message popped up when installing the apk from the playstore telling you that it doesn't recognize the developer.

And, in the game, use another character named "thoughts" instead of the "[thoughts]" prefix, it looks a lot better.

Thanks! I’ll look into those changes.

 

[alfeatcat]

A little history would be great. How his daughter grows up with him, how he watches her more and more, maybe you flirt a little with her father, MC and the daughter secretly watch each other while showering and other occasions. So work a little more towards the birthday event.