It's a very interesting concept, and there's a lot of work to be done, but I think it's going to become really good over time.
I think the author himself knows how to do better, I will only recommend improving the narrative part, less text, I mean, the text should be combined with visual, sound and gameplay narration, the game is not a book, so you need to make full use of all available features.
I think the author himself knows how to do better, I will only recommend improving the narrative part, less text, I mean, the text should be combined with visual, sound and gameplay narration, the game is not a book, so you need to make full use of all available features.