Positive points: It is better than I imagined, it is a well-crafted VN, it uses techniques from other more popular VNs (which doesn't seem bad), It has good renders, decent animations.
Negative: Try to be very aggressive and extremely obvious, something that is not, We all know what popular VN we are talking about, which means that comparisons simply begin to arise automatically (in negative ways and with a significant degree of cringe)
I give it two stars, not only because it uses the blueprint in a way that almost borders on the copy right of another very popular product, but also because the music is honestly horrible, you have to put less music with voices, and something that is more enjoyable to listen while you are reading the script and trying to enjoy your work.
Last negative point, the characters, including especially the MC, look generic and lifeless, they look like mannequins, you need to work a little more on postures, expressions, and try to only use one style of assets on the characters, sometimes characters looks like a Genesis 9, and suddenly you see another that looks like a Genesis 3, and the truth is that it is very shocking.
Conclusion: You have a good base, my recommendation is that you need to stop trying to imitate that visual novel which we all know what it is, put less shocking and unlikable music, Improve the design of your characters (try to make them all Genesis 8.1 or higher), they need to look less generic and not look so similar to each other, Improve expressions, make postures look more natural, and don't place so many love interests, less is always more, good luck.