I would like to give this VN more than one star, especially considering this appears to be the dev's first game, but there are simply too many issues for it to merit that. Since this is the dev's first game, however, I will do my best to outline the problems I see so their next game might be better.
Obviously the story is very short, but this by itself isn't a problem; the real gripe I have is that the story here makes no sense.
It's not clear if Annie is supposed to be a "best friend" or "sister/stepsister" character (though I presume it's the latter), but both pose problems:
- If Annie is your best friend:
-- Why did you promise her she could come live with you when she turns 18? Isn't that pretty sus if you think about the potential age gap? If MC has been gone long enough to forget/not recognize Annie's voice, how much younger was Annie when he said this to her? How old was MC?
- If Annie is a member of your family:
-- Why does Mrs. French (Annie's Mom) tell the MC that Annie will try and rape him in his sleep? Even if Annie is promiscuous, why would that mean incest is on the table?
- In either case:
-- Why do you not recognize her voice? Wouldn't you at least have chats over the phone or something?
-- Why did she come to visit you, rather than her female friend Penny, who she appears to be in much closer contact with?
Since the story is so short, there are few opportunities to fill in these gaps, so the overall cohesion of the narrative is severely weakened.
Since the story is incredibly weak, it follows the characters are nothing special either; I can't recall a single discernable quality about the MC other than he's in college and studying engineering.
However, I believe the titular character Annie is not a good character in particular, for a few reasons:
- The story is too short for us to get to know her, so even though the synopsis of the game is that she's someone we knew in the past, we as the audience don't get to see nor hear about any of this, so she may as well be a perfect stranger we let stay with us (that would actually make more sense honestly).
- Annie claims to be a virgin, but is clearly incredibly horny (we see this firsthand) and promiscuous (from what her mom claims), and there is no clear reason why she would want to have sex with the MC over anyone else (especially if the MC is a family member). How has she not had the opportunity to have sex with another man? I just find this hard to believe.
- The central conflict of the narrative is that Annie is accused of being promiscuous by her mom, which she denies, but then goes on to not only show next to NO sexual restraint, but basically egg the protagonist on into sleeping with her because, in her words, "it'd make Mum mad". This basically vindicates the mom. If this is intentional, then why add the conflicting narrative of Annie being a virgin and having no sexual experience with men? All this serves to do is make Annie's character seemingly contradictory. If the narrative is that Annie should be free to make her own choices and be proud of her sexuality, then make that a more explicit focus. The MC could then play a more active role in this "exploration" or "corruption" and would be interesting.
The general quality of the end product also needs some work:
- In general, the CGs have some issues:
-- Why does Annie look like a zombie in the first few renders you see her in? This is an AWFUL first impression.
-- This is possibly related, but lighting between certain scenes is very inconsistent between CGs.
-- Why are there no visuals during crucial parts of the steamy scenes? It seems like this is where animations would belong, but why release the game in such a state? (Although the game is v0.1, the game describes itself as a "short story kinetic novel", so I can't envision more updates coming, since that is already what the game is.)
- Grammar, spelling, and sentence structure need proofreading.
The game does have some decent music and sound.
In summary, the game has some very serious story and character issues, and the dev needs to improve the overall visual quality (which they appear to be doing).
Best of luck on future games!
Obviously the story is very short, but this by itself isn't a problem; the real gripe I have is that the story here makes no sense.
It's not clear if Annie is supposed to be a "best friend" or "sister/stepsister" character (though I presume it's the latter), but both pose problems:
- If Annie is your best friend:
-- Why did you promise her she could come live with you when she turns 18? Isn't that pretty sus if you think about the potential age gap? If MC has been gone long enough to forget/not recognize Annie's voice, how much younger was Annie when he said this to her? How old was MC?
- If Annie is a member of your family:
-- Why does Mrs. French (Annie's Mom) tell the MC that Annie will try and rape him in his sleep? Even if Annie is promiscuous, why would that mean incest is on the table?
- In either case:
-- Why do you not recognize her voice? Wouldn't you at least have chats over the phone or something?
-- Why did she come to visit you, rather than her female friend Penny, who she appears to be in much closer contact with?
Since the story is so short, there are few opportunities to fill in these gaps, so the overall cohesion of the narrative is severely weakened.
Since the story is incredibly weak, it follows the characters are nothing special either; I can't recall a single discernable quality about the MC other than he's in college and studying engineering.
However, I believe the titular character Annie is not a good character in particular, for a few reasons:
- The story is too short for us to get to know her, so even though the synopsis of the game is that she's someone we knew in the past, we as the audience don't get to see nor hear about any of this, so she may as well be a perfect stranger we let stay with us (that would actually make more sense honestly).
- Annie claims to be a virgin, but is clearly incredibly horny (we see this firsthand) and promiscuous (from what her mom claims), and there is no clear reason why she would want to have sex with the MC over anyone else (especially if the MC is a family member). How has she not had the opportunity to have sex with another man? I just find this hard to believe.
- The central conflict of the narrative is that Annie is accused of being promiscuous by her mom, which she denies, but then goes on to not only show next to NO sexual restraint, but basically egg the protagonist on into sleeping with her because, in her words, "it'd make Mum mad". This basically vindicates the mom. If this is intentional, then why add the conflicting narrative of Annie being a virgin and having no sexual experience with men? All this serves to do is make Annie's character seemingly contradictory. If the narrative is that Annie should be free to make her own choices and be proud of her sexuality, then make that a more explicit focus. The MC could then play a more active role in this "exploration" or "corruption" and would be interesting.
The general quality of the end product also needs some work:
- In general, the CGs have some issues:
-- Why does Annie look like a zombie in the first few renders you see her in? This is an AWFUL first impression.
-- This is possibly related, but lighting between certain scenes is very inconsistent between CGs.
-- Why are there no visuals during crucial parts of the steamy scenes? It seems like this is where animations would belong, but why release the game in such a state? (Although the game is v0.1, the game describes itself as a "short story kinetic novel", so I can't envision more updates coming, since that is already what the game is.)
- Grammar, spelling, and sentence structure need proofreading.
The game does have some decent music and sound.
In summary, the game has some very serious story and character issues, and the dev needs to improve the overall visual quality (which they appear to be doing).
Best of luck on future games!
