VN Ren'Py Carnal sins: Whispers of corruption (Fantasy Visual Novel) [Development Thread]

[MysteryLlama]

Howdy,

I'm MysteryLlama and I'm going to tell you a little about me and the idea I have with this project. Not long ago I started reading erotic novels and little by little it became a hobby that I didn't expect to have. I said to myself, "If the creators of these stories could, why can't I?" and this prompted me to start writing. I mean, I have always liked to write, but I have finally found a topic where I can tell everything I think (and that I also love, like many of you. Otherwise, I wouldn't be writing this here, right?). For now they are just loose things, but I'm starting to compress these ideas into a complete story.

The persons of this novel (At the moment) are only two main characters: Aldric Stoneheart, a cruel and ruthless paladin who kills everything that gets in his way in order to do justice; and Lila Fiorette, a magician from a poor town with great potential, willing to improve and become the best magician in the kingdom.

The story will begin with the choice of one of the two characters, where several events will be narrated, where your decisions matter, since they will change the course of history (for better or worse). Later, both characters will meet in a tavern, where after some heated moments (if you know what I mean), they'll separate. And for now I've got that far. But I had planned to tell the stories of the two in parallel until they meet again, or they die, or I don't know xd.


Thank you for taking the time to read it, All help and suggestions will be gratefully received. <3


(Below I left information about the characters. Yeah, I know they are images made by AI, but at the moment it's like a "sketch" of what I think the character would be like (It's not definitive). Also, I have decided to do it this way because 1. I don't even know how to draw, model in 3D, or anything like that (at the moment) and 2. I still can't afford to pay someone to do it xd. Now yeah, bye, love u <3)

 

[MysteryLlama]

Presentation of the characters Pt.1

In this publication I present to you the female protagonist of the story I have in mind.

Her name is Lila Fiorette, a radiant, burst of energy and optimistic girl, her spirit as vibrant as the rosy hue of her hair. Despite the weight of her newfound responsibilities, she maintains a cheery disposition that lights up any room she enters. Her village roots shine through in her kindness and unassuming nature, which she combines with a sharp wit and unyielding determination to become the supreme magician. Her infectious laughter and boundless enthusiasm of ella have a way of endearing her to those around her, while her deep love of ella for her village of ella fuels her desire to protect and uplift it through her growing magical prowess.

Raised in a quaint village nestled in the embrace of nature, Lila was always fascinated by the mystical whispers of the forest. Her grandmother, a wise and secretive herbalist, kindled her interest in the arcane arts. When Lila's magical abilities surfaced at a young age, her talent was recognized by a visiting sage, who revealed her potential to become a guardian of the kingdom. With a heavy heart, she left her family and friends to pursue her destiny in the bustling city. Far from the tranquil life she knew, she faced challenges with courage and resilience, never forgetting her origins and the warmth of home.

Lila has a voluptuous figure, with soft curves that evoke the fertility of the earth and thick, powerful thighs that speak of her rural upbringing. Her skin is a warm sun-kissed tone, a testament to long days spent outdoors. Her eyes are a mesmerizing blend of amber and lilac, a rare heterochromia that mirrors the enchanting beauty of a forest at dawn. Her long, light pink hair cascades down her back in wild, untamed curls, reaching to her waist. She stands tall at 170cm (5'7"), and her youthful face is framed by the collar of a bright yellow jacket that hangs comfortably on her shoulders.

 

[MysteryLlama]

Presentation of the characters Pt.2

Now is the turn of the male character.

His name is Aldric Stoneheart, a stoic, unyielding force of righteousness, tempered by the harsh realities of his past. His imposing physique reflects his true nature: a sadistic and cruelness man who mercilessly kills everything in his path, leaving a trail of blood that terrifies even the bravest soldier. Even the monsters mistake him for one of them. His time in the mines forged not only his Herculean strength but also his deep sense of justice. If he must do justice, he will do it, but in his own way. The curse he bears has honed his focus on him, making him a creature of singular purpose. His simplicity in combat, relying solely on his fists, mirrors his simple approach to life. The weight of his decisions is etched into his intimidating gaze, and his words, when spoken, resonate with the power of his will. Due to his great strength, he does not need weapons other than his own fists, and thanks to his well-toned muscles, he acquires great resistance, being able to handle mortal and magical blows without the need to wear armor.

Born in poverty, Aldric was sold to the kingdom as a mere child to labor in the harsh mines. Years of hard work sculpted his big, muscular frame and instilled in him a fierce resilience. One fateful day, he found a forbidden grimoire, the pages whispering an ancient spell that conferred upon him a spell of unparalleled power. This spell increased his strength, stamina, damage reduction, speed, and agility. Unknowingly, this act of theft also bound him to a terrible curse that denied him from learning other arcane knowledge. Through sheer determination and his newfound power, Aldric climbed the social ladder, eventually earning his place as the kingdom's most esteemed paladin. His journey from the dregs of society to the pinnacle of knighthood is a testament to his unwavering spirit and resolve.

Aldric, a man above the average height at 195cm (6'5"), with broad shoulders and a diamond-shaped face, exudes strength and determination. His piercing garnet eyes, framed by rectangular sunglasses matching his eye color, reveal the intensity of his massacres he has carried out and the fury that propels him on the battlefield. He sports a ponytail that blends with his thick white beard. His muscular body, a testament to years of labor and training, belies the immense power hidden beneath his black shirt and maroon tie.

At the moment, these are the two main characters of the story. In the future, I will introduce more characters and aspects of the story.

And that's all for now, see you soon ^^

 

[MysteryLlama]

I just created a poll about the engine that will carry the game, since it will help me a lot where I should go and what to focus on. My idea is a game narrated by, well, a narrator, in which the characters also speak, novel style. Another idea I have is a small combat system that will help with the narration of the story and how events will happen, so this poll will also help me see how to make said system. It will also help me in developing a demo that you can try in the future.

Thank you very much in advance for the help <3

 

[MysteryLlama]

History progress

In the end, I decided to start with the middle part, where the two characters meet. Here I leave you a small fragment (both in Spanish and English) that I have translated (for now), and tomorrow I will update this post with the rest of the written "demo". See ya:

Aldric Stoneheart walked into the bustling tavern and examined the room for any signs of trouble. The clank of cups and the lively chatter of customers filled the air as he approached the bar. His white ponytail swayed subtly with every step. He placed his hand on the counter, which was scarred from countless battles and as rough as the stone it was named after. "Cider," he growled at the waiter; his voice was a low murmur that carried an underlying tone of authority.

Lila Fiorette's eyes widened as she noticed Aldric's stoic figure from the corner of the tavern. His mere presence was palpable, a terrifying aura that made her feel insignificant and afraid. She took a deep breath, her heart racing like a rabbit in the presence of the paladin. Her fingers, which had been nervously drumming on the wooden table, stopped for a moment. She smoothed her yellow jacket and, with a silent nod to herself, rose from her chair. Her pink hair swayed gently around her face as her boots clicked against the stone floor. At the bar, a stool awaited Lila, and she settled in beside Aldric. Her hands shook lightly. "E-excuse me," she stammered. Her voice was like a gentle breeze against the storm of her nerves. "I'm Lila Fiorette. I've... I've heard a lot about your bravery, Sir Stoneheart. Could... could I invite you for a drink?" she asked stammeringly. It was a gesture of peace, a way to break the ice, with the hope that she could talk to him and get to know him better.

He was never one for small talk or company that didn't serve a purpose. Aldric tightened his hand on the mug's metallic handle as if it were an enemy's neck. Without even looking at her, he said, "No, thank you," while still staring at the amber liquid in front of him. His blazing red eyes blinked with a hint of annoyance at the interruption. "I prefer to keep my wits alert and my company... manageable." Although the words were a clear rejection, they were not cruel, just firm.


Lila felt the weight of those words like a rock pressing against her chest, and her cheeks flushed a soft pink. Still, she managed to smile. She swallowed hard, the lump in her throat serving as a painful reminder of her own inexperience and the vast disparity between them. She leaned in slightly, lowering her voice to a whisper. "I understand, Sir Stoneheart. Your dedication to vigilance is admirable," she said, her eyes bright with curiosity. "B-but maybe the path of a paladin isn't always so lonely?" She paused before speaking again. "If you ever need a companion, or even someone to share a story with..." Her hand hovered over the empty space between them as a silent offer of friendship. Despite her fear, she persisted, motivated by her longing for adventure and an unspoken bond with those who bear the burden of protecting others. "Someone who can appreciate the quiet moments as much as the battles won, that's me," her voice cracked as she concluded.

--New--

"Young lady," Aldric said firmly, though with a hint of weariness, "it is not your place to delve into the shadows of my past. Your curiosity is admirable, but the path of a paladin is fraught with dangers, which would not bode well for someone so... innocent. The burdens I bear are heavier than any spell you could cast. If you continue to seek me out, you may become entangled in matters best left alone." His gaze was unwavering, his eyes piercing the din of the tavern like glowing embers, leaving no room for debate due to his severe tone.

She noticed that her prayers were useless, so Lila moved on to the next level and tried to captivate him. The air around them shimmered faintly with an invisible barrier, a foreshadowing of the deterrent magic she was casting.

Lila's hopeful gaze met Aldric's weary eyes. She bowed slightly, her pink hair brushing against the wooden bar, and reached out to place her hand on his scarred forearm. "Sir Aldric, I understand your hesitation. But I've traveled far beyond my village to learn about the outside world. And deep down, I believe you have stories of courage and wisdom that could inspire me on my own journey," Lila said softly. The warmth of her smile was unwavering. "Your strength, your determination... If I could learn even a fraction of what you know, perhaps I could make a difference in the lives of those I care about."

She waited briefly for a response, but all she got was a sharp silence. Her slim fingers, capable of weaving intricate spells, tapped a rhythmic pattern against the weathered oak. "You see… magic flows through my veins." Lila paused, took a breath, and continued. "My grandmother guided me along the paths of the arcane arts since I was a child, and one day, we discovered the ancestral gift I possessed. I want to be able to use this power for good, just like you. I can even show you what I am capable of if you want." She hoped that by offering him a small demonstration of her power, she could persuade him that she wasn't just a village girl chasing a whimsical dream.

The tavern's chatter and laughter seemed to fade into the background as she awaited his response. The crackling fireplace whispered secrets of past battles, and the dim candlelight played across their faces, painting them in shades of amber and darkness.

 

[MysteryLlama]

Progreso de la historia

Al final he decidido empezar por la parte intermedia, donde los dos personajes se encuentran. Aquí os dejo un pequeño fragmento (tanto en español como en inglés) que he traducido (por ahora) y mañana actualizaré este post con el resto de la "demo" escrita. Nos vemos:


Aldric Stoneheart entró en la bulliciosa taberna y escaneó la escandalosa sala con sus ojos en busca de cualquier señal de problema. El ruido metálico de las tazas y la animada charla de los clientes llenaron el aire mientras se acercaba a la barra. Su cola de caballo blanca se balanceaba sutilmente con cada paso que daba. Puso su mano sobre el mostrador, marcada por innumerables batallas y tan áspera como la piedra que le dio nombre. "Sidra", le gruñó al camarero; su voz era un murmullo bajo que llevaba un tono subyacente de autoridad.

Los ojos de Lila Fiorette se abrieron mientras observaba la estoica figura de Aldric desde la esquina de la taberna. Su mera presencia era palpable, un aura temible que la hacía sentir insignificante y atemorizada. Respiró hondo y su corazón se aceleró como el de un conejo en presencia del paladín. Sus dedos, que habían estado tamborileando nerviosamente sobre la mesa de madera, se detuvieron por un momento. Se alisó la chaqueta amarilla y, con un silencioso asentimiento para sí misma, se levantó de la silla. Su cabello rosado se balanceaba suavemente alrededor de su rostro y sus botas resonaban en el suelo de piedra. Lila se sentó en un taburete junto a Aldric cuando llegó a la barra. Sus manos temblaban levemente. "D-disculpe", tartamudeó. Su voz era como una suave brisa contra la tormenta de sus nervios. "Soy Lila Fiorette. He... he oído mucho sobre su valor, Sir Stoneheart. ¿Podría... podría invitarlo a tomar una bebida?" preguntó balbuceante. Fue un gesto de paz, una manera de romper el hielo, esperando poder hablar y conocerlo mejor.

Nunca había sido de los que tenían conversaciones triviales o compañías que no sirvieran para un propósito. Aldric apretó su mano alrededor del mango de la jarra como si del cuello de un enemigo se tratase, y sin siquiera mirarla, dijo "No, gracias", mientras seguía observando aquel líquido ámbar que tenía ante él. Sus llameantes ojos rojos parpadearon con un atisbo de molestia ante la interrupción. "Prefiero mantener mi ingenio alerta y mi compañía... manejable." Aunque las palabras fueron un claro rechazo, no fueron crueles, sino sólo firmes.

Lila sintió el peso de esas palabras como una roca presionando su pecho y sus mejillas se sonrojaron de un suave color rosa. Aun así, logró esbozar una sonrisa. Tragó con fuerza, sintiendo el nudo en su garganta como un doloroso recordatorio de su propia inexperiencia y de la abismal diferencia entre ellos. Ella se inclinó ligeramente y su voz se convirtió en un susurro. "Lo entiendo, Sir Stoneheart. Su dedicación a la vigilancia es admirable", dijo, con los ojos brillando de curiosidad. "P-pero ¿tal vez el camino de un paladín no siempre es tan solitario?" Hizo una pausa y luego volvió a hablar. "Si alguna vez necesita un compañero, o incluso alguien con quien compartir una historia..." Su mano se cernió sobre el espacio vacío entre ellos, como una silenciosa oferta de amistad. A pesar de su miedo, fue persistente, impulsada por su anhelo de aventuras y el parentesco tácito que sentía con aquellos que llevaban la carga de proteger a los demás. "Alguien que pueda apreciar los momentos de tranquilidad tanto como las batallas ganadas, esa soy yo", finalizó, con la voz entrecortada.

--Nuevo--

"Joven dama," dijo Aldric con firmeza, aunque teñida con un dejo de cansancio, "no te corresponde a ti ahondar en las sombras de mi pasado. Tu curiosidad es admirable, pero el camino de un paladín está plagado de peligros que no serían un buen augurio para alguien tan... inocente. Las cargas que llevo son más pesadas que cualquier hechizo que puedas lanzar. Si continúas buscándome, es posible que te veas enredada en asuntos que es mejor no tocar". Su mirada era firme, sus ojos perforaban el estruendo de la taberna como brasas al rojo vivo, sin dejar oportunidad a discusiones debido a la severidad de su tono.

Al ver que sus oraciones no surtían efecto, Lila pasó al siguiente nivel e intentó embelesarlo. El aire a su alrededor brillaba levemente con una barrera invisible, un sutil indicio de la magia disuasoria que estaba conjurando.

La mirada de Lila, con un destello de esperanza, se encuentra con la mirada cansada de Aldric. Se inclinó ligeramente, mientras su cabello rosado rozaba la barra de madera y extendió la mano para colocarla sobre su antebrazo lleno de cicatrices. "Entiendo su vacilación, Sir Aldric. Pero he viajado muy lejos de mi aldea para aprender sobre el mundo exterior. Y en el fondo, creo que usted tiene historias de valor y sabiduría que podrían inspirarme en mi propio viaje", dijo Lila suavemente. La calidez de su sonrisa era inquebrantable. "Tu fuerza, tu determinación... Si pudiera aprender aunque sea una fracción de lo que tú sabes, tal vez podría marcar una diferencia en las vidas de aquellos que me importan."

Esperó brevemente una respuesta, mas todo lo que recibió fue un penetrante silencio. Sus delgados dedos, capaces de tejer hechizos intrincados, tocaron un patrón rítmico en el desgastado roble. "Verás... la magia fluye por mis venas." Lila hizo una pausa, tomó aire y prosiguió. "Mi abuela me guió por los senderos de las artes arcanas desde que era pequeña y, un día, nos enteramos del don ancestral que poseía. Quiero poder utilizar este regalo para el bien, como tú. Incluso puedo mostrarte de lo que soy capaz si lo deseas." Esperaba que al ofrecer una pequeña demostración de su poder, pudiera convencerlo de que no era solo una chica de pueblo persiguiendo un sueño caprichoso.

El parloteo y las risas de la taberna parecieron desvanecerse en el fondo mientras esperaba su respuesta. La chimenea crepitante susurraba secretos de batallas pasadas hace mucho tiempo, y la sutil luz de las velas jugaba sobre sus rostros, pintándolos de tonos cambiantes entre ámbar y oscuridad.

 

[MysteryLlama]

I've decided to name the game "Carnal Sins: Whispers of Corruption". It's a name that I think relates very well to the plot of the story I have in mind, without saying too much but giving an idea of where it might go. However, the title is not going to be final and may change in the future.

 

[MysteryLlama]

From time to time, I'd like to drop some information about how things work in the game. So today, I've been thinking about the spell ranges that exist in this universe and the differences between them in terms of power and efficiency. It would be something like this:

-Inferior spell: The wizard needs to recite a prayer/word depending on the spell, either loudly or quietly (the difference in tone is noticeable in the power, since if it is below 50 dB (whisper or something like that), it will be less powerful than one shouted above 90 dB (I've put the decibels in just to be able to differentiate them more easily; like, it doesn't have to be literal). In the case of control spells, it's enough to say it quietly) and move your hands in a specific pattern. Both things are mandatory to cast the spell; that's why wizards with inferior spells have more problems if they are gagged or their hands are tied.

-Intermediate spell: The magician can recite the prayer/word in his head, without having to say it out loud, but he still needs to move his hands to cast it.

-Superior spell: Increases the effectiveness of the spell because the magician no longer needs to recite any words and can concentrate better, but still needs to make the gesture.

-Master spell: The magician no longer needs to make the gesture physically; he only needs to imagine the movement of his hands in his head. This requires more concentration than the previous one, so it lowers the effectiveness but increases the “stealth”.

-Perfect spell: Few are the people who have managed to take a spell to such a level (there have been so few that they are thought to be myths). At this level, the magician can invoke the spell by just thinking of the word referring to it, without gestures or prayers. It is absolute perfection and they are very powerful. They are not invincible spells, but much more will be necessary to be able to defend against them (attack spells) or to attack them (defend spells). In the case of control/status spells, there is no information on what they can do, as no one has ever managed to level such spells up to such a high level, due to their difficulty. The only disadvantage is that they use more mana than a lower-ranked spell, so you should be careful and not cast them lightly.

*Even if the spell is of a high rank, the mage can still make the gestures physically or recite the words (It is not mandatory to do it as it is set; it is simply like he has unlocked the ability to do it that way), depending on the situation they want to cover. (For example, a master-level attack spell can be used by shouting it if he wants to do as much damage as possible in combat, or he will do it all in his head if, for example, he wants to get rid of someone without anyone knowing who it was.) The mana cost depends on the power of the spell and its effectiveness.