Ren'Py - Abandoned - Chosen [v0.6.2 Beta] [Havgar]

Its a good game, the artstyle isnt totaly my taste but i played the dom route and enjoyed it, alot of different trope characters and even if there are not a lot of animations the ones that are there are nice. Not a lot of content right now and very simple game play but ok for a fap

Chosen [v0.5.1 Beta] [Havgar]
Average, bad if not for the girls/models and some kinky scenes. You're more than welcome to try this VN, even tho most of it is rough and janky, it's still pretty entartaining. Check it out.

Story - 2,5/5. Mid. There's some strange things in this story and out of blue things.
Choices - 2.5/5. Sometimes you can chose "do or do not".
Gameplay - 1/5. Semi-kinetic VN sandbox. brrr, it even sounds bad.
Characters - 2/5. Pretty one-dimensional. You won't care about them.
Side note: Stacy is such fucking clown- No! She's whole fucking circus, I had some good laughs thanks to her, somebody FR spend so much time on her and thought "Good job, me!" Phahahah! It was so damn hilarious.
Models/animations - 4,2/5. It's HS. They're good. I'm really surprised how good they look (even that f clown), like scenes with the sister or girls at school/park is such top tier.
Grammar - 3/5. Eh, whatever.

Too bad it so short , now that I think about it, I had pretty good time with it. Nothing much, but still. Really, check it out.

review based on 0.4.0 Beta version
normaly i dnt play games in that stage(no newborn shooting), but i was tricked by version 0.4 (normaly thats mean- near 40% content done)
PRO:
- not bad art
- acceptable ui
CONS:
- game tagged "sandbox"... "sandbox" with 0-2 interactions in TOTAL 2 locations... huh, u know that "sandbox"
- lack of content. in 0.4 version player expect more than 1 vaginal scene, 2 boobjob scene and some hj...
- timesystem. shifting/rotating arrlay ["Morning","Noon","Evening","Night"]- its **** madness. and i know pair games, who have same time.rpy and have been developed much before. huh, u know what thats mean...

its not a bad game "per se", but here only near 10min gameplay (depend on reading speed), so ...

v0.4.0
I love this game.
More content than I expected, the relationship between the MC and the not!succubus is interesting. The maledom mode is a breath of fresh air. MC is not one of those simps or white knights, however he is also not some edgy shit. Overall I like how he acts.
The animation is pretty good and the sex scenes are quite sexy.

This is an excellent beta version~

There is more content than I expected. The rendering is nice, especially for a one-man project. The story is intriguing, and I love the foreshadowing that there will be more depth later. The love interests are cute, and the side girls are unique in their own ways - I'm looking forward to more stories about them rather than treating them as point providers.

Keep up with the excellent work, and I wish you all the best luck with your game~

V0.4 beta

no idea why this is tagged as a 'kinetic novel' as it really isn't even close to one.

its HS so if you have played any of the other hundreds of games already complete with the same art then there is nothing new here visually.

the story is okay but again nothing standout. the dialogue is poor.
why some startup devs don't write everything out first on a word doc or something, spell check it, and actually read it looking for inconsistencies of character, is beyond me.

the game is really quite empty despite the version number, with very little to do. it's not an over-grindy sandbox, which is a huge plus if compared to so many others on this site, but it still failed to hook me at all.

its a fairly good starter project from a new dev, but really lacking in the most important part of the visual novel world for me, the 'novel' part.
to rate it any higher would be a huge disservice to the developer as over-rating will teach them nothing and it's all a learning curve.

will keep a future eye out

Great mind control content. Great succubus. Great depravity. If you want to be amoral this game has you covered. Jennifer best girl. Still short at time of writing, but dev still is in the early stages of funding. Hopefully this game will take off, rarely do games focus on the mind control aspect enough.

Gallery has 5 locked tiles in the beginning, representing 5 characters in the game. Music is somber, slow, I like it. There's a maledom storytelling mode. Interesting. Haven't seen this before.

Game starts with asking your name, defining relations, pretty standard.The first 2 minutes of the game are pretty boring, with crowd chatter sounds and school dialogue exchange.

It's a power trip. Your powers make women have sex with you. School Setting is quite small. Only the bathroom for now. Navigation system is interesting. No need to press arrows or navigate map, just click and you're there.

There's not much story, just click on girls and do stuff with them. The game has some loop bugs. If you talk to Namaah again about Jeniffer, the whole sequence of Jeniffer tit job repeats.

There's no content yet with mom.

I enjoyed what was available so far. It is still in the early stage,but has promise. Prior to the MC dom path I would have never left a review,but it is a much more pleasant to play than the MC sub path. Keep up the good work

I actually really liked it. I think the designs and premise are excellent. The dialogue could use a lot of work. Tonally it feels jarring/not very erotic. Demoness sounds like she's a bro instead of a demoness. Stacy seems like sounds like she could have more of a personality. The dialogue just seems kinda generic and also it overnarrates/describes what's going on in a lot of parts/moments while in other areas, I think it'd add to the scene if for example during the first landlady scene she spoke some like "landlady is here." "landlady loves you so much baby." "cum to landlady."

visuals 9.5/10 - designs really carry where the style is kinda generic anime style
writing 4/10 - i like the premise but the quality of the dialogue is not that good/doesn't enhance the scenes much. good dialogue that understands character dynamics, tone, and not overstating/overnarrating can do a lot.
audio 7/10 - the music fits and isn't distracting while also adding to the experience. i'd like to see some squishy SFX, even just a good ejaculation SFX think would add a lot and some moaning SFX for the girls but that's more of a nice "bells and whistles" thing

For an alpha, this is acceptable and therefore receives 3 stars.

If the dev reads this: Thank you for even making a game, don't take my criticism personally, I just try to give constructive feedback.

There are many flaws so lets get to the good things first:

• The animations are nice ad have sound. Very good
• Premise is fine
• MC isnt a little bitch
• Big tits

Now the flaws. This is very much written ina constructive feedback to the developer kinda way, but as a player, just read the TLDR and dont bother about the later paragraphs
TLDR: no character growth, sub par dialogue, nice animations but bland sex scenes, bad UI attempt at a sandbox, writing issues, many girls are hot but some have like 5/10 instead of 10/10 faces.

First things first... the story as it is now is not engaging and dare I even say bad. If you add a backstory and a need for the Demoness to come to this world and we know her reasons for why she, a demon, a stronger species than humans that can freely fly and has access to magic, would willingly become a sub to a random highschool student, yeah knowing her reason for doing such an obviously stupid thing would be great.
Then we come to the second bad thing, the writing is not good. The dialogue feels forced and the conversations dont feel like something me, or even normal people would say. In my opinion, your sex scene dialogue, dirty talk game and also your descriptive skills when it comes to sex scenes needs some work. Erotic VNs should feel like a nice experience. But here it feels very rushed, not intimate or sexy, rather distant and not very engaging. The tit job scene for example:
All the MC says and thinks is. Yeah... Ahhh... Mhmm.... (I can't believe this) (I didn't think she could be this lewd) I'm gona blow...
I'm sorry but I cannot enjoy a scene with dialogue like this. Take your time and let your creative juices flowing. Give us some of the thoughts of the MC. Maybe he always thought about fucking these tits since he first laid eyes on them. MAybe he enjoys to put the bitch in her place and would even prefere if she could remeber that he fucked her tits and se could do nothing about it. Or the opposite, maybe the MC is in love with this goddess of a woman and cant believe his luck and really enjoys this moment on an emotional level and feels sad when he comes because he wanted the moment to last forever. And maybe work with what gets used in the scene and include all the characters. The MC can think about how awsome the tits feel, describe them alot. Also give us some of Namaah's thoughts, maybe about the tits too or about how envious she is that valuable seed gets wasted on a mere human and how she could have taken soo muuch better care of that juicy fat cock. (or if you're lazy just put in some corny lines from porn, doujins, books, hentai or other VNs)
Then the design of sex scenes as a whole could probably be better. Much of which I already touched upon in the writing paragraph. But the layout seems weird. They feel like "the MC has to come" instead of "I'm playing the MC and I want to engage in sexual activities and then have a good time comming". Also, you are using an Ilusion game and take screenshots. Take advantage of that. You have placed the charcters anyway, so take a couple more screenshots without changing much. Maybe change the mimic, turn the womans head, arch her back, change the angle and take a shot from the side, her back (tits are nice but so ar asses), from above. If you did that you can add like 5 renders to a scene without too much extra work. Since you have animation presets from the Illusion basegame, give us maybe two or three per scene, you could even use the same but increase and decrease the speed depending on what you want to achieve.
Then we come to the worst thing the alpha has to offer in my opinion: the attempt at a sandbox/point and click. The UI is very bad if it was supposed to be a sandbox. There were like 4 times per day but they did nothng and finding the ext scene was a horrible experience. Also time based events like: "Talk to the Teacher at noon on friday" are such a waste of time. If you did the previous teacher event on monday you have to like click the rest button 36 times for nothing. If you don't want to make a "normal" VN I'd advise you to rework your idea of a Sandbox or stick to a simple point and click, where you get to advance the routes of each character without asting minutes just skipping time or searching the same 8 places 30 times just in case you missed to check the attic on sunday morning. (also sandboxes and point and clicks are waaay harder to code).

As an alpha it does a good job in establishing your vision of what the game could be and gives us a rudimentary first impression of the characters and the setting. If you put your mind into it and give it some polish and smooth the edges, this one could be very entertaining. Keep up your hard work and thank you.