Dear Writers, please stop with the "I can't hold it anymore" cliché

[Shrimpor]

Variants of that phrase is expressed by the MC when cumming in so many adult games. Why?

The expression clearly implies that the character was trying to hold it in, that is, keep the orgasm from happening. Although it's not uncommon to want to have the sex last for a while and not cum as quick as you can, when you actually orgasm the focus of making it last is long gone.

It's such a beta or submissive focus to have in that moment and to say it is just one step from actually apologizing. "I'm terribly sorry, dear, but I can't hold it anymore! I tried not to cum, I really did! SORRY!" This is obviously hyperbole, but the sentiment isn't that different.

These characters aren't written as submissive either in which case it would be suitable.

Maybe all the writers suffer from premature ejaculation? Nah, just kidding. Rather it seems this phrase has risen to some sort of standard which writers just automatically use without really thinking about it.

There are many variants of this phrase but they all have in common that negative, passive, submissive energy.

The moment of cumming is really a moment of triumph, and what the character says should reflect that. (Of course, it easily steps into cringe territory if overdoing it though so perhaps not have them celebrate like cowboys every time.)

Thoughts?

 

[Winterfire]

It's not just dialogue, it's a way to warn the player that the scene is about to end. Some other games add a counter instead (Which is a pretty neat way of handling it).
Also, the phrase is used even after a long session, it's unrelated to premature ejaculation. Clearly if you phrase it as "I am sorry" with multiple "sorry" in the same sentence, it's submissive. However, if you simply add it as a thought without the unnecessary spam of sorry, it's fine imho.

 

[Shrimpor]

It's not just dialogue, it's a way to warn the player that the scene is about to end.

I get it's a hint to the player but that doesn't mean suitable dialogue shouldn't be used. You can use dialogue in any number of ways to achieve that hint. E.g. "I'm cumming!" would be the most straightforward and neutral in terms of what energy it conveys. Of course you can use any type of flair that fits with the character and imo it's preferable to have dialogue instead of a counter as that is very artificial.

 

[Winterfire]

I get it's a hint to the player but that doesn't mean suitable dialogue shouldn't be used. You can use dialogue in any number of ways to achieve that hint. E.g. "I'm cumming!" would be the most straightforward and neutral in terms of what energy it conveys. Of course you can use any type of flair that fits with the character and imo it's preferable to have dialogue instead of a counter as that is very artificial.

The problem with "I'm cumming" is that it's too sudden, the previous piece of dialogue lets you warn and drag it a little more. The counter is fine as it simply displays a number over the dialogue box, it's not intrusive. Both are nice options imho.

 

[Shrimpor]

The problem with "I'm cumming" is that it's too sudden, the previous piece of dialogue lets you warn and drag it a little more. The counter is fine as it simply displays a number over the dialogue box, it's not intrusive. Both are nice options imho.

Obviously I didn't mean you should just have "I'm cumming" without any build up. "I'm close!" could be a suitable neutral prior expression which would have many other before that. The point is, you don't need to have passive, negative, submissive expressions to achieve any hint or whatever to the player.

 

[Imisx]

 

[Winterfire]

"I'm close!"

Which means you cannot hold back anymore. Narration is needed for a Visual Novel... Sure, it doesn't need to be unnecessarily lengthy, but it'd be bad dialogue to just have
character 1 "Hi"
character 2 "Hi"

The sentence itself (how it's used in most games i've seen) is fine, but your example was clearly bad, not for the sentence itself but for the abuse of "sorry" which makes the MC very submissive. It's the "Sorry sorry sorry" not the rest of the sentence.

 

[Shrimpor]

Which means you cannot hold back anymore. Narration is needed for a Visual Novel... Sure, it doesn't need to be unnecessarily lengthy, but it'd be bad dialogue to just have
character 1 "Hi"
character 2 "Hi"

The sentence itself (how it's used in most games i've seen) is fine, but your example was clearly bad, not for the sentence itself but for the abuse of "sorry" which makes the MC very submissive. It's the "Sorry sorry sorry" not the rest of the sentence.

"I'm close!" and "I can't hold it anymore!" do not mean the same thing. "I can't hold it anymore" implies that the character was trying to hold the orgasm in, that is, keep it from happening, while "I'm close" doesn't imply anything like that.

My example of sorry was a hyperbole to make the point. I expressly said it wasn't the same as that.

 

[Winterfire]

If you think "I'm close!" and "I can't hold it anymore!" means the same thing you clearly don't understand the nuances with those expressions. "I can't hold it anymore" implies that the character was trying to hold the orgasm in, that is, keep it from happening, while "I'm close" doesn't imply anything like that.

My example of sorry was a hyperbole to make the point. I expressively said it wasn't the same as that.

I didn't say they mean the same thing, but if you extend the narration, "I can't hold it anymore" (or similar) would follow. That's if MC wants to hold it in, of course that's not always the case. Both can work, and one is not better than the other (minus subjective preferences ofc).

 

[woody554]

it always amazes me that people actually think they can make general collective requests addressed to all devs on some pirate forum, expecting them to change their mind.

 

[morphnet]

"I'm close!" and "I can't hold it anymore!" do not mean the same thing. "I can't hold it anymore" implies that the character was trying to hold the orgasm in, that is, keep it from happening, while "I'm close" doesn't imply anything like that.

My example of sorry was a hyperbole to make the point. I expressly said it wasn't the same as that.

The beta thing seems to be a you problem not a game / dialog problem. As for the "I can't hold it anymore" you left out any context. I've seen it used nicely in a few games and hentai....

LI: Almost
MC: I can't hold it anymore
LI: Just a little longer....
LI: Let's cum together....

LI: Orgasms
MC: I can't hold it anymore
LI: wait, it's my sisters turn now....

LI: oh yes baby
MC: I can't hold it anymore
LI: wait... hold on, cum on our faces....

Context is important and throwing out a blanket request makes no sense. Maybe try figuring out why you feel like a beta when reading that, rather than requesting it be completely removed.

 

[Gone405]

Variants of that phrase is expressed by the MC when cumming in so many adult games. Why?

The expression clearly implies that the character was trying to hold it in, that is, keep the orgasm from happening. Although it's not uncommon to want to have the sex last for a while and not cum as quick as you can, when you actually orgasm the focus of making it last is long gone.

It's such a beta or submissive focus to have in that moment and to say it is just one step from actually apologizing. "I'm terribly sorry, dear, but I can't hold it anymore! I tried not to cum, I really did! SORRY!" This is obviously hyperbole, but the sentiment isn't that different.

These characters aren't written as submissive either in which case it would be suitable.

Maybe all the writers suffer from premature ejaculation? Nah, just kidding. Rather it seems this phrase has risen to some sort of standard which writers just automatically use without really thinking about it.

There are many variants of this phrase but they all have in common that negative, passive, submissive energy.

The moment of cumming is really a moment of triumph, and what the character says should reflect that. (Of course, it easily steps into cringe territory if overdoing it though so perhaps not have them celebrate like cowboys every time.)

Thoughts?

Would the term "I'm getting ready to chum work" better?

 

[Hagatagar]

Would the term "I'm getting ready to chum work" better?

I vote for: *grunts like a swine*

 

[Gone405]

I vote for: *grunts like a swine*

Fair game fair game good term.

 

[zenbear]

Variants of that phrase is expressed by the MC when cumming in so many adult games. Why?

The expression clearly implies that the character was trying to hold it in, that is, keep the orgasm from happening. Although it's not uncommon to want to have the sex last for a while and not cum as quick as you can, when you actually orgasm the focus of making it last is long gone.

It's such a beta or submissive focus to have in that moment and to say it is just one step from actually apologizing. "I'm terribly sorry, dear, but I can't hold it anymore! I tried not to cum, I really did! SORRY!" This is obviously hyperbole, but the sentiment isn't that different.

These characters aren't written as submissive either in which case it would be suitable.

Maybe all the writers suffer from premature ejaculation? Nah, just kidding. Rather it seems this phrase has risen to some sort of standard which writers just automatically use without really thinking about it.

There are many variants of this phrase but they all have in common that negative, passive, submissive energy.

The moment of cumming is really a moment of triumph, and what the character says should reflect that. (Of course, it easily steps into cringe territory if overdoing it though so perhaps not have them celebrate like cowboys every time.)

Thoughts?

Look japanese people are polite even when they're raping you ok?

 

[Geigi]

He can't hold it anymore, what? To not himself.

 

[Cartman-Brah]

i don't want to disappoint you but in real life no man can last as long as porn stars. they probably can't either. so i think phrases like "i can't hold it anymore" add realism to the game. in harem themed games i can't take it seriously when i see the mc fucking 6-7 women in a row and filling them all up.

 

[rk-47]

My sac is about to overflow!!

 

[c3p0]

Thoughts?

Other than that, most was already written her.
One I haven't see, although I didn't read all of it:

Do you believe that writting this will change anything at all in regard to this?

 

[Kamishirov]

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I'd prefer for there to be some sort of bestial King Kong roar of triumph as "I" ejaculate deep inside.

Either that or a creepy, weird and slimy whispering in her ear after the fact, "You took it all didn't you? You dirty girl". *Proceeds to lick her ear hole.