- Thread starter SinRise
- Start date
- Feb 7, 2018
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- Sep 28, 2017
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I appreciate
- The story-logic: Yeap, totally need to make some changes. I will probably slow the pace of the story a little bit and make some logic adjustments.
- Game Mechanics: The idea was that, that almost identical choices make different paths. And the choices don't make you "Slave" or "Slut"
They just trigger different roots of the story. Now I think, maybe I will take these stats away from the view and uses them only in internal trigger-logic.
-Future aspect: Yeap, I looked up all pictures of this model and probably I can feel 8 chapters with related pictures. Another 2 chapters will be almost without photos but I think imaginations of Reeders will fill that gap.
-Spelling and grammar: Yeap, it's totally my biggest problem with this interactive story. I hope with some practice, I will become better. Meanwhile, it's problem frustrates me a lot( Do you have any suggestions, how can I quickly improve that skill?
If I will finish this story, then I will start working on teacher corruption story with blackmail and violence.
Thanks for the Great review.Its a trap! xD
It looks like a girl but is supposed to be a boy. So I m basically out already. Still, I got some questions/suggestions:
The story-logic: is weird... so "Mom" tells us to wear something to keep us warm because its very cold outside - so she offers us a tiny t-shirt OR a bikini... thanks mom! Now I m ready for winter I guess xD. Uhm... could I not wear both of them so I at least survive 5 minutes or so? And dont you happen to have ANYTHING else in the closet?!?
Also, how does she happen to have such a tiny shirt? No way on earth it fits her, unless shes heavily anorexic.
Game Mechanics:
So wearing a T-shirt saying something sexual like "69% Angel" increases my love-stat? right...
while wearing a Bikni increases my SLAVE-stats ??? lol?!?
If so me and any girl I know were probably slaves by now
Future aspect:
This uses a specific model as protagonist. Which almost always comes with high restrictions to pictures and therefor possible storytelling supported by them... could be a problem - unless the girl/boy in the pictures is the actual author and willing to do/shoot a lot more for this game
Spelling and grammar:
Ingame language really needs to be improved. When reading this stuff I constantly have a heavy russian accent in my head.
Meanwhile its easy to get what its about, almost every sentence is still not correct.
Basically this looks promising but it also needs some considerable improvements to be successful.
As for me, unless theres a fem prot option, I m out ;P
Good luck and best wishes to the author!
- The story-logic: Yeap, totally need to make some changes. I will probably slow the pace of the story a little bit and make some logic adjustments.
- Game Mechanics: The idea was that, that almost identical choices make different paths. And the choices don't make you "Slave" or "Slut"
They just trigger different roots of the story. Now I think, maybe I will take these stats away from the view and uses them only in internal trigger-logic.-Future aspect: Yeap, I looked up all pictures of this model and probably I can feel 8 chapters with related pictures. Another 2 chapters will be almost without photos but I think imaginations of Reeders will fill that gap.
-Spelling and grammar: Yeap, it's totally my biggest problem with this interactive story. I hope with some practice, I will become better. Meanwhile, it's problem frustrates me a lot
( Do you have any suggestions, how can I quickly improve that skill?If I will finish this story, then I will start working on teacher corruption story with blackmail and violence.
- Oct 26, 2017
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Looks nice! Good luck with the game.
And yeah, local images would be nice. The way it is now makes for slow loading of images and in the future a big possibility for dead links.
And yeah, local images would be nice. The way it is now makes for slow loading of images and in the future a big possibility for dead links.
- Oct 12, 2016
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I love these kind of games, but I have very crappy internet, so I usually go to a cafe, download the game and go back home (since sitting in a cafe reading porn is not acceptable), then I don't have to worry about internet. I would appreciate an entirely offline version please. Sorry, I can't comment on your game, since I haven't checked it out yet.
- May 13, 2018
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Overall it looks ok, definitly could use some work on the english translation, the part where the mother offers clothes it gives you the two paths or options, says one on left with shirt, and you end up in a shirt, and skirt, or it says the one on right with skirt, which is obviously a picture of a bikini or bra and panties. so i think you need to change that description. i agree with one reader was saying you want it to be a slow boil, dont be hasty for him/her to automatically jump the character into female clothes. take your time with it. if you have to look up some of the other sissification/transformation games on how they were doing there's and see if that helps.
- Nov 2, 2017
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I tried it. I have a few critics and a few questions. I will start with the saying what I think it happening and then the questions.
By the moms comment I think she is trying to turn her boy into a girl on purpose because she always wanted a girl, maybe I am wrong but that is the impression I am getting. I am just not sure why beyond she just always wanted a daughter, since it seems with the nipple comments and others the transformation has already started.
questions
1) Is the boy we are playing suppose to always look very girly? It seems no because of the comment about girls clothes. But using that model right off before looking more girly seems to suggest yes. Which makes it a little confusing. As there doesn't seem much to go to go to sissy.
2) Is the intent of the game to go full transformation or just go transgender, or will both be options?
critics
1) For the name change I strongly think you should ask the name change then have the option to push next which takes you to the first bit of text using the name the player selected, it looks odd for Dan to show up instead.
2) English still needs work but i am sure you already know this.
3) Some more choices would be nice and even more than just two at times would make sense.
suggestions, take these as friendly and feel free to ignore them. Partially they are based on what I think is going on which might not be your long term goal.
1) Start of with more manly images for the MC, and then as the transformation happens use these images.
2) I don't know how you plan to have the transformation happen, but my suggestion is maybe start the story where the MC got sick with a rare disease with no cure, but a pharmaceutical company had some experimental drugs that could save his life but they might have "side effects" and the side effects are it make the MC into a girl physically. Perhaps that is their intent all along and just find him as a good test subject. then they might have come in every so often to a checkup. where he is mentally subjected to suggestive videos to make him think like a girl etc. Perhaps that is why they are moving to this new city that is where the company is that has this new wonder drug that will save his life.
That is all I have at the moment with out know more about your intent as I played what little is there so far and it is a decent start but hard to give a lot of feedback with out knowing more.
By the moms comment I think she is trying to turn her boy into a girl on purpose because she always wanted a girl, maybe I am wrong but that is the impression I am getting. I am just not sure why beyond she just always wanted a daughter, since it seems with the nipple comments and others the transformation has already started.
questions
1) Is the boy we are playing suppose to always look very girly? It seems no because of the comment about girls clothes. But using that model right off before looking more girly seems to suggest yes. Which makes it a little confusing. As there doesn't seem much to go to go to sissy.
2) Is the intent of the game to go full transformation or just go transgender, or will both be options?
critics
1) For the name change I strongly think you should ask the name change then have the option to push next which takes you to the first bit of text using the name the player selected, it looks odd for Dan to show up instead.
2) English still needs work but i am sure you already know this.
3) Some more choices would be nice and even more than just two at times would make sense.
suggestions, take these as friendly and feel free to ignore them. Partially they are based on what I think is going on which might not be your long term goal.
1) Start of with more manly images for the MC, and then as the transformation happens use these images.
2) I don't know how you plan to have the transformation happen, but my suggestion is maybe start the story where the MC got sick with a rare disease with no cure, but a pharmaceutical company had some experimental drugs that could save his life but they might have "side effects" and the side effects are it make the MC into a girl physically. Perhaps that is their intent all along and just find him as a good test subject. then they might have come in every so often to a checkup. where he is mentally subjected to suggestive videos to make him think like a girl etc. Perhaps that is why they are moving to this new city that is where the company is that has this new wonder drug that will save his life.
That is all I have at the moment with out know more about your intent as I played what little is there so far and it is a decent start but hard to give a lot of feedback with out knowing more.
- Nov 17, 2018
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hi, well, I gotta say, first in general I don't like sissification, so take this as you will. So, the story seems immature and the pictures seem well... off to where the character should be. i mean why does he go from a typical guy to wearing a bra in a single night? was he always interested in this stuff? i dunno, the story flows too quickly. I feel like you rushed to reach certain things and didn't establish a hidden or secret or even unrealized desire for these things.
If it was me, I would develop the story before they move to NY to put him into a few situations that show he might be a sissifiable person? is that a word? who knows. anyways i just don't feel the character at all and i definitely don't feel the images.
hopefully this will help you flesh out the story a bit. that was not a pun but sure, you can call it that. I won't dismiss this yet because i will give you a chance to see where you go, but this stuff is never going to be my thing so there is a limit.
If it was me, I would develop the story before they move to NY to put him into a few situations that show he might be a sissifiable person? is that a word? who knows. anyways i just don't feel the character at all and i definitely don't feel the images.
hopefully this will help you flesh out the story a bit. that was not a pun but sure, you can call it that. I won't dismiss this yet because i will give you a chance to see where you go, but this stuff is never going to be my thing so there is a limit.
right? a nice combo.
anyway, as others have mentioned I'd recommend putting the name/city variable setting in its own passage before you read the description that uses them. it works fine but you expect it to change the passage you're reading as you change the variables, which can be done with div elements (I think? I'm still learning myself) but is easier to do in a separate passage.
it might be difficult to do extensive transformation with just one model unless they have also undergone cosmetic surgery themselves. just because the pics won't line up. that being said, it's probably preferable to stay consistent rather than jumping to different models for different scenes. I love having visual stimuli, but it can break the immersion if you've had a breast augmentation in-game and the pics don't reflect that. it's possible you have planned for this, and I also don't know ella venus too well so maybe she's stacked now.
I like having 3 main stats and clear options when given a choice. others have pointed out that the titles may be a little misleading, possibly change "slave" to "submissive" or "submissiveness". likewise, "love" could be "dominance", "acceptance", or "willingness" if that's what you mean. I don't mind using "love" as one of the main stats, it's a nice concept, but what are you loving here?
one last thing: in the first passage ("Delicate Feelings") you missed the first "<" in your set command
looking forward to more of the story!
- Jan 3, 2018
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BruceLee73 Ye also fell right into the trap because of the banner image
SinRise Do you have plans for a fem. protag.?
SinRise Do you have plans for a fem. protag.?
- Nov 15, 2018
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The problem is the game uses online hosting, not the image folder. And it sucks.
- Mar 1, 2018
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- Oct 26, 2017
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You have no say in that, now put on those panties.
- Jun 12, 2017
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At the end of the demo:
"Please go to f98zone and write some feedback, good or bad it's up to you. "
yikes haha.
I like the idea of the game. Always interested in seeing more cyoa games like these. And am interested to see how your choices affect the MC. Hoping the game doesn't get abandoned like every other game in this category :/.
Not a lot of content yet to really say much else but keep up the work. I'll be keeping watch.
"Please go to f98zone and write some feedback, good or bad it's up to you. "
yikes haha.
I like the idea of the game. Always interested in seeing more cyoa games like these. And am interested to see how your choices affect the MC. Hoping the game doesn't get abandoned like every other game in this category :/.
Not a lot of content yet to really say much else but keep up the work.
I'll be keeping watch.