An underdeveloped, boring-ass game that's as forgettable as the piss you took a few hours ago.
I've gotta start out with the clusterfuck that is this title's story. It's all fluff and no substance; I pretty much went through the entire game not knowing what the hell was going on because it was never explained in the dialogue. The plot consists of some shapeshifting goth chick stuck inside a dream world where I'm assuming she has to battle her self-consciousness and come to terms with her lesbianism or some shit like that. Three fourths of the game is spent fighting "The Doubt" (which sounds like a phony reject from MGS3's Cobra Unit), and the final portion is spent on some other chick who I half believe to be a succubus that
really wants to pet the MC's kitty. Yeah it's retarded, but I've gotta come up with something since the game spends 95% of it's story time (and interrupting gameplay) spouting intellectual-sounding bilge that contributes nothing meaningful or entertaining to the story. Oh, and the titular "Dreamcutter" is nothing more than a bargain-bin equivalent to the Terror Mask from Splatterhouse. It's neither witty nor badass, and is usually the one spewing pointless bullshit at the player.
That joke about the protagonist being a shapeshifter is no lie either. All the story scenes in the game swap between a bunch of different art styles at random, some of which being
very different than others. One moment, the protag is relatively thin and unassuming, next she's made out to be some cutesy anime girl, and then she becomes thicker than an all-ice-cream milkshake in clothes that are way to small for her current size. This goes for everything else in the story scenes, and it pisses me off how the game can't just stick to one style. My guess is that the devs designated three or four different artists certain story scenes and jury-rigged them all together to save on time/money.; The half-assery shows.
Oh boy, and now I get to talk about the game itself. As soon as I started the game and pressed jump, I knew I was going to be in for a bad time. Your character jumps up extremely fast and then falls like they're on the fucking moon. What's more is that the game feels unnaturally fast for no reason; Swinging off hooks and grinding rails sends you zipping across the screen at a speed that would make Sonic blush. This would be fine if the game was built around it, but Dreamcutter instead chooses to be a precision platformer where a hit from
anything in the air (whether it be spikes or an enemy) will lock you out of your fucking controls. More often than not, I found myself falling into pits or hitting spiked walls because I didn't have enough time to react to jumps I was supposed to make or enemies I was supposed to slash. Animations also feel unreasonably fast, like the devs turned the speed on them up to x2 or x3 during programming and forgot to set them back to normal afterwards.
This issue leads perfectly into the combat. Dear God, the combat. That animation problem I mentioned? Yeah, that applies to enemy hitstun and attack wind-up. The end product is that enemies are (more often than not) able to hit you through your fucking attack combo. You can't even attack enemies with the options the game gives you without getting interrupted and eating damage yourself: That is some absolute bullshit.
The move set you have to deal with enemies is extremely limited as well. You get a two-hit combo (that enemies can interrupt), a mid-air swing (which is actually half-way decent), and a grounded/mid-air launcher (that doesn't even fucking work since enemies don't get launched until they're dead). The combo can be upgraded to three-hits (which provides a bit more DPS but is mostly negligible) and you can also buy this midair spin move that lets you pogo off enemies, but the timing is so strict on it that it's pretty much a useless piece of shit. The game tries to implement a Devil May Cry style combo system to spice things up, but fails to realize what made it fun in the first place. While DMC relies on mixing the many moves you're given to achieve a high combo, this shitload of fuck devolves into spamming the attack button on the same three enemies you encounter throughout the entire game.
For the sake of brevity, some other things I found incredibly frustrating were:
- Money farming, as always. Buying all the upgrades requires you to do this, and we all know how fun grinding is.
- Every stage ends with destroying this flying purple orb that spawns an endless stream of enemies right on top of you. Could the placement of the enemies be any worse?
- After falling to a pit, the game can straight up respawn you on top of an enemy. Enemies can also move and hit you during cutscenes, where you can't do jack shit to defend yourself.
- A hub world for absolutely no reason. The game would have been better with a Mario-style world map and the item shop being accessible with the click of a button. You also respawn back into the hub world after completing each level, forcing you to run back to the right door to the world that contains the next level.
- In the first world, dying at the very beginning of a level will transport you back to the final checkpoint of the last level, even though you already finished it. Was there no "beginning checkpoint" programmed into these stages?
- Challenges for lewd art are locked behind a paywall of coins. Why in the ever-loving fuck do I need to pay to unlock the challenge for the H-content? Isn't it enough that I've gotta go back and replay a stage all over again with some stupid-ass stipulation?
H-scenes are pathetic in this title. You get one or two still images that last for five seconds after completing a world. I legit thought I was skipping the scene with how fast it went but, nope, they're that short. They look nice, I'll give them that, but it sucks that you only get 5-6 stills throughout the entire game that have the same varying art problem mentioned before. Extra art can be unlocked by completing those stupid fucking challenges, but most of them are just pictures of the MC in skimpy clothes or in the nude. Bonus note, said scenes also plug other games that are published by Shady Corner, which speaks volumes about their business practices.
I put myself through the hell of 100%ing this game, and doing so revealed a note from the developers saying that the project "didn't have a lot of funding and was made by an extremely small team". Well, it fucking shows with how half-assed the game is. Terrible story, shit gameplay, and H-content that barely got me aroused. Do yourself a favor and don't play this nightmare.