VN - Ren'Py - Abandoned - Ellen Vague [v0.2] [LongJohnnyWalker]

Damn, this feels pretty uninspired for a porn parody. Alan Wake is a strange franchise to choose in the first place, and LongJohnnyWalker seems to have only taken surface level elements. And even then there are tons of missed opportunities. Most glaringly is the lack of Cauldron Lake's presence in the story. Instead of staying at the lakehouse, Ellen takes up residence at some random hotel. It isn't even name something referential like the "Sealooker Hotel" or something.
The first game also has a fairly small cast of characters resulting in the dev having to genderbend characters like Carl Stucky and Pat Maine (characters that aren’t likely to come to mind when considering a porn parody of Alan Wake). They should have done themselves a service by incorporating characters and other elements from the sequel as well.

Some other weird choices (I'm not using the parody names of the characters to avoid confusion):

• Sarah Breaker is the fanatic, not Rose. Even though Rose is in this story
• Tor and Odin aren't rockstar brothers. As in, they aren’t brothers and only one of them was a musician…
• No Night Springs
• I'm not sure who the Barbera Jagger parallel is supposed to be between Bubba Yawga and Jay Killhide.
• Cynthia Weaver lives in a care facility, which doesn't seem fitting for her character considering her significance in the original story and her status as Lady of the Light.
• No clicker parallel.
• Where the hell is Cauldron Lake!?

In terms of the game itself, the sets are pretty stock standard and boring. The "radio station" is a great example, being a firewatch station asset (no judgment. Work with what you have), but it doesn't have a single computer or microphone necessary for actually hosting a radio show. An AI text to speech is also used in the game, which I hope was placeholder until this game was successful enough to warrant a proper actor(s)

Also, the sex scenes weren't great.

It seems like LongJohnnyWalker's first game, so I don't want to come across as too harsh or nit picky. I wouldn't have left a review if it wasn't specifically Alan Wake related.

Not much here yet, it seems like it's going to a mystery which intrigued me. The MC is a 30'ish woman and seems like most of the sex partners right now appear to be about the same age or older. So far there was only one sex scene and was kind of lesbian vanilla scene. I'll check out further if there is more release.

For a first version this is excellent and already has some decent content.
The story starts quickly and is engaging (considering the genre).
I like the characters, not quite as generic as usual.
Definitely worth putting it on watch list.

1. an error in the composition of a dramaturgical work. The story should begin BEFORE the play begins. The play should begin with the first conflict or the first significant event. Absolutely NOTHING happens in this game. We are playing a PORN game and expecting the events of romance. A dead body, police, bikers, detective is not what is interesting in PORN/romance context.

2. Unattractive protagonist. I see prettier women at the checkout when I go shopping in a shop. If I am denied the opportunity to be beautiful even in a video game, it annoys and frustrates me.

3. Poor work with light, shadow, colour. The colour of the protagonist's body is not natural, too yellow, and the lighting is even and uniform, which does not allow to outline the volume of figures. As a result, the characters seem flat.

4. Pointless, leading nowhere conversations. In literature, only dialogue that moves the plot forward should be shown.

5. Trivial story. This is a common cliché of all western short stories created by people who don't live in the USA. White American woman, moves to another town, girlfriend is a lesbian, and just starts f&ck everyone. Either California/New York or rednecks.