English:............6/10
User Interface:.....3/10
User Experience:....7/10
Art:................6/10
Dialogue:...........2/10
Story:..............2/10
Opinion:............2/10................
Avg:.............4.0/10 [2.0/5]
There should be no question as to why someone would avoid this game. First of all, it's yet another soccer AVN. Do you know what aspects of sports come through in 100% of these? They wear uniforms and sometimes stand on the court. Cool... Secondly, the description already paints MC as a Gary-Stu, being the "best already." Third, just look at the thread banner, it's an image you see twice in the game. One in the main menu and the other WHEN YOU HAVE TO DEFINE THE SHITTY RELATIONSHIPS MC HAS WITH THEM. This is point number three, if you have to manually define relationships my brain melts. Not only is it just avoiding demonitization, but it means the writer is just gonna fill out lowest common denominator tropes. There's also the writing. I've only gotten to defining the "landlady" and IMMEDIATELY, there's a completely brain-dead line that makes the MC and target audience completely unlikeable. "Her entire house basically depend on a very small percentage of your weekly income... But it's okay you love them anyway." This means MC is making a ton of money, comes from a poor household, and DOESN'T send them enough money? And the "you love them anyway" remark means he sees them as a burden. What an ass. They even say "Oh you earn 12k a week."(British Pounds because my keyboard doesn't have that symbol) Which is 650k a year. And, because this is meant to be "English" because most paying customers would be in English, that's a lot of money. And if the sus-ass Charlie gets any more blatantly pedo-bating, I'm stopping my review, and never touching this game again. The only thing I'm glad about is I didn't have to define EVERY relationship in that picture. I would've bashed my head against my desk. But we'll see if the rest of the game holds me back from doing that.
The game opens up to some woman(That by end of content is just some weird stalker) introducing the story like some actor. A tired trope that completely eliminates any sense of sincerity in this game. She then says "Define these relationships" and you've likely read what I have to say about that already. The entirety of the intro that isn't introductions is just everyone glazing MC. Either them telling him how good he is, or him telling everyone how amazing he is. It's the usual ego coddling harem trash dialogue that you've seen a billion times. Even meeting Elizabeth for the first time, as the player, the narrator tells you that she's already direly in love with MC even though they've never actually spoken. MC's just so good at soccer she's in love. Wow. I will admit, I'm surprised they go back on the rich part, as of the intro, and put MC in debt in the absolute dumbest way possible. Using the patreon avoidant self-censors, means this scene makes no sense. A legal guardian would have signed MC's contract to play, but because of this it's fraud and he has to pay it back? Am I having a stroke? Did I read that correctly? I'll be the first one to say the stale rich guy, with everone in love with him trope is so overdone it might as well be a brick of charcoal. But this is stupid. And when MC leaves to meet two of the sisters, they have the audacity to explain the idiom "look what the cat dragged in." I'm floored at how stupid this writer thinks you, the player, are. Literally the first time you hear it, context clues tell you what that stupid saying means. I've only been treated this stupidly a few times before, my god. At the moment, I will also sigh in relief that Charlie doesn't act like an 8 year old that's never met a man before. Oh, great... When he lays down, this blatantly references the game that takes all the issues I've talked about and multiplies it by 85904904. Awesome. Really happy to see that never ending slop as one of the influences... Which leads directly into an awful dream sex. NO ONE likes dream sex. Period. I don't know who keeps telling other devs to put these shit scenes in, but all it does is cheapen any other sex scenes you have. Stop. It isn't even with any character in the game, he just dreams of random sex to have random sex.
When MC wakes up he goes to dinner to talk with Rebecca, the mother, about what happened. I played through both with the default relationships and what the story is actually implying. They say whatever title you use when the guy fires MC. "She's not your real landlady." What the fuck does that even mean. Either way, there's a completely incomprehensible discussion going on while MC tries to talk about it. MC knows the one girl's pregnant, but implies someone else is? I think? And they all bicker till MC blurts out about Rebecca not being his real "landlady." After this, I'm going to use their intended titles of Mom, Aunt, sister, etc. But just so you know, the story's problem makes even less sense if you don't change titles. I also want to point out "*edgy silence*" really? This what you want to go with? An ellipses should have been used there to IMPLY the silence, but no. Double down on "edgy" by all means. So MC trudges to a bar to get drunk with the money he doesn't have, and meets Johanna. MC introduces himself and she calls him funny. Did I miss the joke? Nothing about this has been funny outside of the fact that FINALLY a dumb ass Gary-Stu MC get his world rocked. But no, some virgin decided to have sex with the first guy she meets. And the first actual sex in the game is with a girl with pancake tits so, great. Unappealing writing AND visuals. The double whammy. And the animation? MC scrapes his fingernail against her pussy. I don't know if this person has even seen porn before, but I know exactly ZERO women that would like this. Then, because I somehow forgot, they're both drunk, so MC coerced a drunk virgin into sex. Add potential sexual assault to his character. Awesome... After a visit to an agent that solves his problems off screen, you meet Shizuka. Probably the aforementioned 8 year old insert that will make me quit this game. MC even gives her a weird incel nickname to boot. It's gross. And when they do get around to what "Not your real landlandy" would mean, is MC is adopted! So the self-censorship is solely there because this is a throwaway incest tale bent on patreon.
So they do a long exposition dump and forgive each other because this is a sex game, not a real story. Suddenly, a soccer player that just got fired from whatever leagues(?) he was in, is broke, and pretty much blacklisted, gets a private jet with two women that want to sleep with him. But don't worry, they both VERBALLY STATE they've never done this before, so your fragile ego won't slut shame a bundle of pixels. God forbid. Also they're going to Bavaria, where the drunk virgin from before is from. I wOnDeR iF tHaTs iMpOrTaNt. When MC gets off the plane? Arnold Schwarzenegger is now his manger. Okay. Lo and behold, his granddaughter is the drunk girl from before. After they arrive wherever it is they're supposed to be, the other stewardess, that are now personal employees of MC's new manager, wants to give MC a blowjob. So MC had sex with one girl and two blowjobs from two other girls all before taking a shower. He must have some stank on that. Gross. After they settle the contract details, you finally meet the last character from the group photo. The balding Sabine. Victor, the manager and her father, told you she has a bad history and trouble trusting people. WHY ON EARTH he needed to tell MC that? Who the hell knows. If she works for him and does this often, it shouldn't impact the job. If it does, she shouldn't do the job. I won't get into the boring tour and interview. Nothing happens outside of some blatant innuendos that characters make. Everyone in this is very vocal about how much they want MC, it's childish and annoying. MC trains the next day and even gets a call from Jade telling MC his mom wants to sleep with him? Come on, man. Even Onishi openly masturbates to MC right after this? You could have had her be a bit standoffish or something. Nope, zero pretense or buildup. And this scene also shows that not only is she over protective of Shizuka, for the 40th time, but that Shizuka is so dependent upon her mother she gets scared when they're apart for more than 20 seconds. So she is probably mentally challenged. Great, another point against her.
This game already had poor grammar and spelling. Adding a buch of characters that purposefully speak shit-tier English is a mistake. I honestly don't know if it just to have sections of the writing they don't need a proofreader or for "emphasis." Either way, it makes it miserable to read. I already don't like the characters why are you making it so I barely understand them? It's poorly executed and I am not having a good time. After yet another blowjob with Johanna, MC is gifted ANOTHER house. I was kinda invested in this when MC had his whole life pulled out from under his feet, but to just rectify it with someone else doing the exact same thing of giving him tons of money for simply existing is boring. Then Oni and Shizuka sing and dance naked all while MC just stands at their open door, slack-jawed. I can only imagine that this entire story ends up being the Bavarian Emporer bequeaths his kingdom to MC because sex game and suddenly dies because a war that happens off screen. MC now has a Supercar to drive 4 miles at a time. Then you get a sex scene with Kelly. Her squished in face is not that appealing. I almost never really talk about the attractiveness or appearance of the models used in these games. Mostly because they're all made to be attractive, but also because there's a whole story to talk about or issues to shine a light on. This is just so boring it's the only thing I can think of at the time. And, once again, don't worry, this was her first time having sex as well. Then MC goes to "train" MMA. He has one half-assed lesson and one half-assed match then is told to leave. That's absurd. "Here's three poses, do that once then fight someone that is blind and tired." To which they compliment him afterwards? This is bodybuilder vs infant levels of coddling. Everything about the writing in this is so ham-fisted and makes me roll my eyes. Shizuka sleepwalking into his room at night, Deadpool fighting Mandolorian in the park, Elizabeth's sexual innuendos that signify how much she wants to sleep with MC. It's all a bit much.
Finally, MC plays some soccer. It's even more boring than usual because a pro player is playing against children. They try to be funny in that the other team's goalie just gives up. But it's like watching a pro boxer go to a middleschool and beat up a child. We've already been told that MC is god's gift to mankind. Why do we have to sit through this? And after beating them, he says "It would suck if someone older than me played me when I was younger too" to console them. Then immediately thinks "Heh, nah I'm the greatest ever lol." I'm obviously paraphrasing, but it's essentially what happens. This guy is a prick. Genuinely, I hope that Vic and his friends use MC as a fall guy for all their scemes and MC ends up in jail. THAT would be hilarious. But we all know it's just a pipe dream. Then Johanna punches Shizu in the face for trying to kiss MC. I almost lost it, it was kinda funny. But don't worry, they immediately agree to share MC, can't have personal drama in a porn game. Even to the point that Charlie, the antagonistic little sister becomes this docile lamb that seems to address some very specific things I can only hope is from some incel complaining about her on a forum somewhere. It'd be hilarious if true. BUT. This also means she might revert to the sus-ass little girl character for pedo-bait. We will have to see. Do you idiots not understand that siblings bicker? People that live together bicker? Not every woman on the planet needs to be this demure subservient cuckquean with no personality. Anyway, they do the same thing twice with MC picking up two groups of people at the airport, why? Why did they not just travel together? There was no good story reason, nothing happened, and it was pretty much the same scene twice. MC literally just slept between the two scenes. I can't think of a good reason for this.
Soon after, MC is sexually assaulted in a clinic? She was the narrator girl in the intro that you most likely forgot about. Why that happened? Who cares? Oh, and by this point you can probably also, rightly, assume that Sabine is MC's mom. Because of a dream MC has as well as the weird way they introduced her. After the clinic and training, that would've taken no more than a few hours, MC returns to his home that was completely remodeled somehow for no reason. It's not even explained away well at all. Then MC sleeps again, wakes up to Jade and Chloe wrestling naked in the livingroom? Not only does MC grab their tits, but he acts like some weird dom? What is this? It's not how you write a decent character, that's for sure. Then MC finally meets his team, and wouldn't you know it? MC is the greatest soccer player to ever live, never misses a goal, and is god's gift to Earth. He even goes to the locker room and someone tries to hit him but MC is just too strong. After being shown three poses in self defense no less. I have no words at how piss-poor this is done. Then, date night with Shizu. MC can ask her about herself and she says things we already know. The only thing we, the player, have learned is that she was average in school. Then, comically large burgers come. Why? They're in a foreign country and ask for burgers? Shizu even eats MC's when he goes to the bathroom? Why? Although THIS TIME, MC refuses to sleep with the drunk virgin. Okay. Great. So he's not a total piece of shit I guess. Just a regular piece of shit. And in the morning, MC follows up with her and showers with Shizu. During the shower, his boner is so strong it lifts her up. This writing is actually smoothing out the wrinkles in my brain. Are you kidding me with this? Then, amid yet another boring soccer session, MC gets attacked by a jealous teammate for no good reason. I can't stress that this guy attacked MC twice now just because. You also get shown that the priest(?) that gave MC to Rebecca is part of his past? I don't know what's going on. Both of those character models looked the same, so I can't be sure. After MC is released from the hospital, that the crazy stalker visits somehow, you see that Charlie is working at a clothes shop? Why?! They're supposed to be visiting. Why the hell does she have a job? Nobody thinks anymore. But really, it's just a dumb framing object for the same clothes shopping scene you've seen a million times.
Afterwards, you have another date scene. Only this time it's with Oni. Nothing of note happens except for the fact that when MC and her return home, Shizu is listening in behind the front door. And the only reason I bring this up is because Oni opens the door to phase through Shizu and she's somehow surprised by it. The door opens inward, if you can't tell. Next day, "date" with Chloe and Rebecca. More glazing of MC. How far they bend over backwards to compliment MC is Olympic level. But the next day, Luna and Becca leave for home. Frankly around here my brain has checked out. There's not much going on it's just more "MC walks room to room to get sex from another character." There's no story to speak of, the dialogue is bad, watching a crap DAZ soccer match on the lowest resolution patch of grass is mind numbing, and the twist that MC is Victor's son/grandson is not going to shock me when it's "revealed" in 10 years. It's so by the numbers and plain, that I just don't see a reason to choose this game over the other games that are exactly the same as this. And reading this review back, I apologize that it seems so disjointed. A lot of the story is just nothing happening and people giving MC the world or their body. You get tired of the same thing happening over and over, I'm sorry. I know the two games that inspired this the most (one is a word that describes someone without a mother and the other is sitting on MC's desk that first time he goes home.) Both games are just better versions of this, I'm sad to say. Mostly because I already don't like those games. In a few months I'll check this out again, maybe, to see if I'm wrong or things improve. But with how little these games change I won't have any expectations.
The basics are as follows: The English has consistent mistakes. To the point where I don't know if the sections where someone that speaks poor English is just a bit, or sections where they don't proofread. Either way, it dampens my reading experience. The UI/UX is stock renpy. Completely untouched. The art is not great. Not only is there no personality in the renders, but a lot of the models are either ugly or I just don't like their bodies. The dialogue is essentially a race to see who can brownnose MC the most. And the story is essentially the same thing. I expect MC's father will somehow find him and attack everyone, only for MC or Vic to save the day then a DNA test confirms he's part of the family. If that spoiled it for you, sorry but it's so obvious it hurts. This isn't a terrible game, but there is nothing good about it. Best of luck to the dev moving forward, though.
