VN - Ren'Py - Going for Goal [v0.14] [DarkSkello]

Game Version at time of review: 0.10

This is a game of lots of little things that if done in a vacuum could be forgiven, but as a whole create a game that just isn't worth your time. Like the sub par character models could be forgiven if they were well written... they are not. The bad animations could be over looked if the renders were high quality or unique... they are not. The bad writing could be over looked if it was a unique setting or scenario... it is not. Like there is nothing that this game can hang its hat on. Everything is average or worse. I would ditch the animations, focus instead on better quality models/renders, and finally have someone help you with the script. I don't know if it's a language barrier or just a lack of writing practice but the dialogue and scene writing is just not up to standards. Lol and we are talking smut standards. Not the highest bar to clear. I wanted to like this game, but I just can't.

Great story, a bit confusing at the start. Could do with maybe rewrite of the start but it shows a lot of promise and has interesting characters! Its about footballer and his family I like that and plus is easy going VN that doesn't have to many choices, massive plus is not to much drama as well!

English:............6/10
User Interface:.....3/10
User Experience:....7/10
Art:................6/10
Dialogue:...........2/10
Story:..............2/10
Opinion:............2/10................
Avg:.............4.0/10 [2.0/5]

There should be no question as to why someone would avoid this game. First of all, it's yet another soccer AVN. Do you know what aspects of sports come through in 100% of these? They wear uniforms and sometimes stand on the court. Cool... Secondly, the description already paints MC as a Gary-Stu, being the "best already." Third, just look at the thread banner, it's an image you see twice in the game. One in the main menu and the other WHEN YOU HAVE TO DEFINE THE SHITTY RELATIONSHIPS MC HAS WITH THEM. This is point number three, if you have to manually define relationships my brain melts. Not only is it just avoiding demonitization, but it means the writer is just gonna fill out lowest common denominator tropes. There's also the writing. I've only gotten to defining the "landlady" and IMMEDIATELY, there's a completely brain-dead line that makes the MC and target audience completely unlikeable. "Her entire house basically depend on a very small percentage of your weekly income... But it's okay you love them anyway." This means MC is making a ton of money, comes from a poor household, and DOESN'T send them enough money? And the "you love them anyway" remark means he sees them as a burden. What an ass. They even say "Oh you earn 12k a week."(British Pounds because my keyboard doesn't have that symbol) Which is 650k a year. And, because this is meant to be "English" because most paying customers would be in English, that's a lot of money. And if the sus-ass Charlie gets any more blatantly pedo-bating, I'm stopping my review, and never touching this game again. The only thing I'm glad about is I didn't have to define EVERY relationship in that picture. I would've bashed my head against my desk. But we'll see if the rest of the game holds me back from doing that.


The basics are as follows: The English has consistent mistakes. To the point where I don't know if the sections where someone that speaks poor English is just a bit, or sections where they don't proofread. Either way, it dampens my reading experience. The UI/UX is stock renpy. Completely untouched. The art is not great. Not only is there no personality in the renders, but a lot of the models are either ugly or I just don't like their bodies. The dialogue is essentially a race to see who can brownnose MC the most. And the story is essentially the same thing. I expect MC's father will somehow find him and attack everyone, only for MC or Vic to save the day then a DNA test confirms he's part of the family. If that spoiled it for you, sorry but it's so obvious it hurts. This isn't a terrible game, but there is nothing good about it. Best of luck to the dev moving forward, though.

Art: A decent variety of models and characters
Animation: Rough work, sometime hands phase through objects, sometimes they do not look natural. however these improve in newer updates
Story: A fun story so far, looks like there might be a deeper plot coming but who knows.
This was a fun play, nothing to serious, the writing isn't stellar but I enjoyed myself. A good balance of plot to "plot".

This VN is a hot mess.

The story is nonsensical and doesn't make much sense. Some of the models look fine, others don't. It also has a bit of an identity crisis as if the Dev wasn't clear on exactly what type of story he wanted to tell.

At the beginning you put in relationships but then discover almost right away that it was a waste of time as mom isn't really mom and sisters aren't really sisters. I'm not sure why the Dev even had you specify relationships.

I get the feeling the writing is supposed to lean towards comedy but it doesn't do it well. Not one I would recommend.

I like how the game is going so far and that there is finally a soccer match even though it is only a friendly, training match. However, I hope to see more soccer matches in the future, I also like how they already animated the sex scenes and I hope you continue for more, good luck in the game, regards

I feel like this Vn will be really good down the line, the story has a whole lot of potential in where it can go since it doesn't have to be just about football, the Li all have something different about them so far which was cool, there was some funny moments with the owners daughter and some of the family, I hope to see the Dev improve and continue

Things I liked.
Harem (pretty obvious)
Interesting story
Love interest (mostly virgins)
No ntr (hopefully no sharing)

Things that need improvement.
Lighting in scenes- check out some YouTube tutorials DarkSkello, there's heeps on there that have helped me and I'm sure they'll help you, though, lighting is tricky in general
Expressions- they look over emphasized a lot of the time, not sure if you are using pre-made expressions but if you are try going into the parameters tab while having your character selected and look for sliders which can help with things like emotions, it helps give a more natural look
Money shots- checkout renderotica, you'll find some decent uhh facial stuff for the finish..

I really like it so far and hope to see more in the future, keep those virgins coming

I have played a bit of v0.01

I am not sure if this is the beginning of a first project (?) and I really don't want to sound negative and to discourage the creator to continue. I hope this can be perceived as constructive because I think there might be opportunities here to improve.

For now its a "what a mess!" type of game. Some choices are clearly not well thought. The text should be bigger and the color should be changed from black to something else. And/or many of the backgrounds should be adapted to be harmonious with the text. And/or a box should be added behind the text so the players can read the text.
The menus are also a bit weird, with things on unusual positions.
The music is a bit annoying, it works well as into but then it repeats, i guess it's a loop, so maybe that can be changed...
The initial introduction king of works, but then the actual game begins and it's all very confusing and fast, jumping from scene to scene. Maybe it adds to the confusion the fact the the text is hard to read? I don't really know.

To the creator: as I said in the beginning, please continue and just understand this as constructive. My advice is to collect some good ideas from other games and improve or adapt them (not copying them) to this story and whenever you wish to collect feedback from the audience do some polls and see what people say.

uh man ,this was one of the worst vn i play .
renders are bad ,assets look bad ,the chiks look horrible,and the story is less than that.
i really want to know what the dev plot here and where he wanna go after this but i dont wanna try this again if he doesnt do a overhaul and a full one .
its difficult ot compare this to any other vn out there bcs this is in another category .wish can give 0 star

for a 1st release, I'd say it has a bit of content,
the story so far it's not too heavy, it's not too drama centered and as far as I can tell it doesn't seem to be drama oriented, sure there are a few scenarios that are .. more towards the dramatic plot, but not too dramatic..
The characters are not the same, most of them are different in their behaviour.
Not a fan of some of them to be honest, the way they behave and the way the MC reacts to their behaviour either, also not a fan, but here's me hoping he will change a bit for the better.
The VN already has 2 lewd scenes, already vaginal sex, which .. is a nice development (play it to see why)
It also set the roots for some interesting developments in the future, which I can';t wait to see.
At the moment I played it the english was decent towards good, sure there were your usual mistakes of your/you're and things liike that but nothing too major.
TLDR : Good VN, I recommend it, it has as far as I'm concerned a good chance to become a really good one.
I'll be following this VN, also wish the dev gl!