You are directly contradicting yourself in a span of just couple of paragraphs -- having one's input carry more weight is giving them preferential treatment. Like you say, it is pretty normal so there is no point in trying to simultaneously pretend it's not something that is taking place. It's not going to help anyone whose feedback is given less weight feel any better, if anything it's just an extra insult you'd try to feed them such obvious bullshit how they're not treated differently when they in fact are "and it's normal".
You’re mixing two separate concepts and treating them as if they were the same. Purchasing the game and supporting ongoing development are not equivalent actions. Buying the game gives permanent access to the product and all future updates. That part is equal for everyone, and nothing about it depends on Patreon.
Crowdfunding is different by design. People who fund ongoing development month after month are not buying extra content; they are financing its creation. Their feedback is weighted more heavily only in the context of development priorities, because they are the ones enabling that extra development to exist in the first place. That’s how every crowdfunded project works, whether on Patreon, Kickstarter, or anywhere else.
This is not “preferential treatment” regarding the game itself. Everyone receives the same content, the same updates, at the same time, regardless of how much they paid. No one is downgraded, and no one loses access to anything.
What differs is the influence on the roadmap. Not the product.
There is no contradiction there. Two forms of support, two forms of involvement, one identical product for all.
itch.io or GoG is where you buy the game. Patreon is where you participate in its ongoing development. Confusing these two roles is the source of the misunderstanding.