I am always serious; I am never serious. - Me
It's just a joke between me and my wife. I like to let her know we have a legally binding contract that we signed, in front of witnesses, for her to give up that booty. Possibly poor taste, but she married me for my jokes, so fuggit.
A dog cannot steal. By definition, it is impossible.
To paraphrase Taoism, "It is not stealing when a rat takes your grain. It is not murder when a cat kills the rat."
Dogs are scavengers and I have known plenty of dogs that steal underwear. Dogs also like to grab used feminine products from garbage cans... just wait for next update when Shizuka rummages through the garbage!