VN - Ren'Py - Hearts of the City [v0.3] [Dx Games]

PROS
+ Character models look good, aside from Luna.

CONS
- Dialogues are god awful, characters talk like robots, and dialogues feel like they were written by AI. And they yap too much for no reason, and keep repeating almost the same dialogues as well, which makes you wanna just skip every dialogue. Especially that dialogue MC had with the girl on Tinder was seriously boring, and felt like how AI would write how humans would flirt. And when MC tells ''I met a girl named Emma on Tinder.'' she says ''Oh, I remember her. She's a sweet girl.'' and that moment you are like ''This is definitely written by AI'' In fact, later in the story, it acts like MC's therapist is best friend of his ''landlady'' and mother of his best friend, meanwhile he told he found her online at the beginning of the game.
- Even tho the theme is pretty much clear with what it is, story, and dialogues are not fits that, and even if you name the relationships right the ''landlady'' still cals her family ''Group'' for some reason, and there are a lot of issues like this looking pretty bad as well like Narrator saying ''Landlady, sensing the gravity of the situation'' etc, kind of things, Narrator is not the MC, so why Narrator says ''Landlady'' to her or ''Roommate'' to others? It makes no sense. In fact, despite they are having their own names, you see their relationship with you in their nameplay in the dialogue screen as well. Another thing is the game acting like the way you used in relationships starts with upper case, like if you used ''Son'' then the game writes this word always with upper case like ''perSon'' or ''perSonality'' etc. Another weird thing I saw was MC calling her ''younger roommate'' with ''my younger Luna'' which is her name, and that looks quite weird as well.
- Translation is quite bad as well; there are a lot of problems, grammar issues, and typos. Better proofreading is needed.
- The whole of Ms. Alina's path is pretty much ruined by her sh*tty character and scenes. And Jane's path is ruined for other reasons.
- Existence of Chris, he being the best friend of the MC, and his forced scenes.
- MC doesn't feel likeable at all, especially with your choices changing almost nothing about him or the story.
- Seems like your choices at ''prologue'' meant nothing since even if you didn't do anything to your ''landlady'' at night, MC still acts like he did it. And there is some unavoidable stuff going on with you having no choice as a player.
- There are some visual bugs that exist as well, like clothes having clipping problems.
- Sex scenes are not animated, and they lack pictures as well.

VERDICT
So in the end, this is a very bad game with only one standing point, and that's not enough to make it worth playing.

I was going to say that this is an okay first effort, but the dev does have two other VNs on F95Zone...

Where to begin? The DAZ renders are poor. There is lots of poke-through, "boob socks" and awkward poses. These look like first attempts, but the dev needs to spend a lot more time learning how to use the tools at their disposal. Even if there is poke-through, a couple of seconds with Photoshop would fix it.

Personally, I hate "sandbox" games that aren't. The game is linear, but you're constantly forced to click on "choices" that just take the place of telling the story. And the worst thing you can do is present five choices and have all but one of them say "go do this first." Then why have the choice at all? That happens all over the place. Sometimes it's "I should go do this first" only to be told "I shouldn't do that now." Frustrating.

But the "story" such as it is, is sophomoric. "Hey <landlady>, suck my dick!" "No way, I'm your <landlady>!" And the next day it's "<tenant>, if you guess what color underwear I'm wearing I'll suck your dick!" The "story" just seems to be stream of consciousness writing.

I guess the dev assumes everyone will always specify mom and sister. "Roommate is no one here." "I should go talk with mom"Huh, I chose Landlady...? "If I wasn't your Group" Huh?

Dev, spend a little more time learning the tools of your "trade". And actually write the story before you start jumping in and rendering images. smh

(Review of v0.3)

The writing is quite bad (repetitive and too formal at times), the script includes some bare placeholders instead of character names and everything happens too fast. As usual the girls are far too easy to get but then this doesn't pretend to be more than a porn game, and in that respect I'd say it delivers. There are no animations but at least the models are well done, they are varied and also moderately believable. I'd also cut a bit on the options you get to decide where to go next when only one of them will advance the story or present new content.

Summing up, not great but still worth checking out.

This was just ridiculously stupid writing at its finest example. Bam Mom goes from this is wrong to fuck me in 0 to 60. Sisters are all over him. Aunt/therapist gets drugged by her own son and ends up in a threeway cum fest with both him and you that lasts all night. She claims she will surely get pregnant from it. Don't ecall seeing that tag so its like all the other games where you cum inside without their permission and nothing happens. But hey its par for course to go along with the 12 year old writing this drivel. And what the hell is with the choices that are given which are just there to look like you have options when in reality you don't? 6 choices but only one has a result. That is annoying as fuck. No one likes it.

This review is for V2: overall good. i didn't see V1 so cant judge the language issues previously mentioned but the language in this version is fine. The characters, pictures, story is very good. Only negative from my point of view is that you get to sex really quickly, no gradual corruption or story build up. mom, sister, and aunt agree to quickly and see "relationships" as ok without much objection or questions. still a good job. keep it up Dev! v/r Diego

If I were to make chat-gpt write a story and dialogue, I believe that'd be the result.
Bad writing,
Nice renders, but doesn't matter because it's so painful to read.
I hate this generic ass mc look.

Just download the game and play the first 2 minutes, it's funnier for you to experience it rather than me explaining.

VERSION: 0.1 REVIEW 0.2
SUMMARY: Good attempt, great models, but just not implemented well, with bad dialogue. Incredible, needs to be awarded for messing up so badly.
RATINGS: (out of 5):

NOTE: The following categories and scoring method are my own criteria and may require more context.

1. Model Visuals..................... : ⭐⭐⭐⭐
2. General Visuals................... : ⭐⭐⭐
3. Animation Quality................. : ⭐
4. Character (Persona)............... : ⭐⭐
5. Story Quality & Pacing............ : ⭐⭐
6. Writing Quality & Dialogue........ : ⭐⭐
7. UI & Game-play Mechanics...........: ⭐⭐⭐
8. Playtime & General Quality.........: ⭐⭐⭐
9. Sounds & Music.....................: ⭐⭐⭐
10. H-Content & Fetishes.............. : ⭐⭐⭐

Average: X of 50 possible points giving a X% rating i.e. X stars.

PROS:

1. Able to set relationships and names
2. Interactions sounds and game music are a nice touch and done fairly well, with decent enough quality.
3. Models are well designed and LIs look beautiful. MC does not look bad and is fairly decent looking and fits the look for a 18yo fairly well, though I would maybe introduce a bit of shadow around his face for stubble growth, but that just my opinion.
4. Writing is not completely horrible, the grammar is not bad, even if the dialogue itself is not well structured and often just bullshit.

CONS:

1. Setting relationships is all great but its not implemented well when setting e.g. a family dynamic of mother and sister the dialogue does not flow e.g. "student living with mother, sister and sister" should be sisters.
2. Added to above, if dynamic is set to family, where the MC relationship to his "sisters" set i.e as the "brother"
3. Added to the implementation above, its clear dialogue is also not very well planned, thought out, structured or implemented. e.g. "recent experience of seeing my mother accidentally" I understand whats implied here, but its not right, it should read "accidentally naked". The MC also says thing out loud that he is thinking and shouldn't say, all indicating a very unpolished dialogue.
4. To add to dialogue issues further, the dialogue feels unnatural and rehearsed, the MC spies on his "mother" and she recites almost what google would say, like a list of possible reactions a "mother" would have catching her "son" perving on her...There is no single or specific emotion, not anger, outrage, love, curiosity, her thoughts are almost all over the place and it just feels like poorly scripted reactions e.g., the "mother" thinks (after son see her naked) "I don't want to get corrupted by this thought" this is not natural, the player thinks about the MC and LI corruption, not the NPC itself, the NPC should not be speaking about its concern about its own corrupt thoughts that she "may" have or get, she should at the point be actively against what happened and over time, corruption will set it (but not be mentioned) as the MC breaks down his mothers inhibitions. The way it reads now, again just emphasizes how bad the dialogue is.
5. Story is not very well told and plot points are implemented poorly e.g. the MC going into "landlady" room creating the wrong impression of the MC for me. See my comments below for more on this.
6. Models look good, however the models are not exactly very realistic in that we are told the one is the "landlady" (actually mother) but she looks as young as the tenants. See comments below.
7. Other variables need to be adjusted to fit the household dynamic, e.g. group being family or whatever the player chooses.
8. Some UI settings like dialogue box opacity settings are missing.
9. Early on the MCs internalising becomes annoying. I think this is because there is a fair amount of it and its compounded by the bad dialogue.
10. Added to point 9, "the next day" the MC is still in his room, takes off almost like its not the next day, its the same scene, the MC is still internalizing and struggling with his thoughts and feelings. Why not flesh this out, make it more believable and realistic. TELL A STORY. e.g. MC walks out still half comatose and bumps into his mother, bumping into her tits or knocking her over, lying on top of her and driving his morning wood against her. While cliche, this at least drives the feelings and issue at hand, but no, we stuck with an MC still in his room THINKING...FML
11. Old saves apparently don't work, whats more, starting a new game, starts on the new content, first chapter, days content is gone...WTF?
12. Dialogue still completely bullshit stupid, the writer does not plan or think this through and refuses to take good practice and advise to heart. The dialogue is like a poster child for word vomit because its so mixed up and nonsensical. Check my comments.
13. Choices don't matter, at least many mean fuckol, eg., in the house you can go to many rooms, bathroom, sister room, moms room etc, but there is no content until you pick the correct room, so why have the options if there is only one that goes anywhere? STUPID

NOTE: The following remarks are my personal opinions and thoughts, which may provide more context which could be useful to the developer.

FINAL REMARKS, OPINIONS & SUGGESTIONS:

• Clearly set up as a family dynamic with incest as a driver, its clear from the MCs thoughts, feelings and sexual urges towards his "household" i.e. family. However implementation is not smooth and needs more refinement.
• Bit jarring to have the "narrator" the MC and narration being his thoughts. I would stick to having a narrator and having the MC thought separate and providing a name for who is "communicating" and also make sure these roles are clearly defined and split. Narrator: Coming home. MC: I feel anxious and uneasy..." This may be a little bit of a nit pick, but its better, clearer and avoids any confusion or that weird feeling of the MC talking in 3rd person. Another example is when the MC thinks about charging his phone, right after, a "narrator" says "I make my way to my room" Why not simply go with MC thinking: "My phone is nearly dead, I need to get my charger is in my room." This conveys the same message better and only one "person" is needed...
• I would love to see the models look more realistic for the role they play, the "landlady" (mother) is too young, you can still make her look amazing, simply a bit older, like 40 or 42, give her a little bit more belly, stretch marks, maybe a little stretch on the boobs, she had 3 kids after-all, especially if we go with what is clearly a incest family dynamic.
• Story and dialogue lean strongly toward porn-logic through the telling and unfolding of events. e.g. the MC needing to see his "mother" he simply decides to see her and goes into her room without announcing or knocking. While we are told to believe through his thoughts that he is conflicted in seeing her naked, he clearly is pushing to do it, so conflict is halfhearted at best. He is simply a pervert. Now, if you created a plausible scenario, e.g. he heard a crash coming from inside the room, the mother slipped and fell out the shower and he rushed in to help her, then it provides a better context, drives his conflict but not from a pervert POV, now from a caring son, but it adds to his conflict and desires and also starts the mother on a path of admiring/appreciating him more as a man who "saves" her.
• Regarding still fucked up dialogue.g. MC sitting next to "older sister" says "She is hot though, even if she is not my type." Ok so ffs, why does the MC say this, are we the player not the ones to decide who is our type and what we would like and who to pursue? Moving on, MC (that is not into her as she isn't his type mind you) thinks (but apparently says, because the dev still didnt fix the dialogue titles) "she smells good" the somehow he says "her skin feels smooth and soft" IS HE TOUCHING HER? NO, SO HOW? next..."I wish I could touch it more" BUT HIS ARMS ARE FOLDED AND SHE IS NOT HIS TYPE??? This is the kind of drek you will read...

TLDR:

Unpolished, poor dialogue built around a story that's not new and told poorly. Its not bad, if you look past the poor dialogue and follow the scenes and skim read it, getting the crux of what is being conveyed, then its fine enough. The big bonus is we at least have LIs with good tits and bodies to keep us players vested, just don't think or expect too much from this VN.

I will give the dev credit, there are some kinks in this VN that could be sexy as hell, but its put together so incredibly poorly... Im not sure if the dev even sees these reviews and post as this is not the official support site for this game, but if you don't know your game is on this site/forum, you kinda brain dead or just not interested I suppose. Either-way here is a lot of work to make this "game" "thing" good. One more star was removed from my original review for the persistent issues of this VN.