Same. I tend to avoid kinetic as it takes out too much of the fun.
- Thread starter Bob69
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As rollgeck already said, some of the fast change in the characters behaviour (e.g. Ava getting used by Todd only moments after meeting him) appears too rushed. Even though I really liked the scene and the atmosphere a lot. Starting with the explanation of how "the game" works, you know something really big is coming. Will be hard to build up the story to a highlight that's just as "pleasure-driven".
Because: when will all the characters get together in one place, without knowing what the others might do and give in to their desires for everyone to see?
I hope dev has some nice ideas and can create a scene like that again.
What I personally dislike in the new update is the uselessness of your past choices. Even if you don't go for NTS and make the mc care for Ava's feelings, in the end he just agrees to Maya's offer and cums on her face with Ava watching (ans thus hurting her). Maybe there should be a branch depending on previous choices.
Everything else is just fine. Only.... if dev could make the textbox disappear by clicking on an icon in the android-version - that would be great.
Can't wait for the next update.
Because: when will all the characters get together in one place, without knowing what the others might do and give in to their desires for everyone to see?
I hope dev has some nice ideas and can create a scene like that again.
What I personally dislike in the new update is the uselessness of your past choices. Even if you don't go for NTS and make the mc care for Ava's feelings, in the end he just agrees to Maya's offer and cums on her face with Ava watching (ans thus hurting her). Maybe there should be a branch depending on previous choices.
Everything else is just fine. Only.... if dev could make the textbox disappear by clicking on an icon in the android-version - that would be great.
Can't wait for the next update.
Thanks for your feedback! Yes this update had no triggered scenes
This was mainly because I had less time for development this month andif I added them that would extend even more the release, but for upcoming chapters I should be able to put a little more time into those And Ill look into the text hiding feaure, probably I can add that for next update
DressedToThrill
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- Jun 30, 2024
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(Upbeat) Speaking of hiding words!
(Annoyed) I wish I could hide these comma-encased descriptions! I don't want to read the actors' instructions from the raw script when experiencing the story, it breaks my immersion thoroughly!
(Disappointed) This is a visual novel, a medium where you have both pictures, dialogue, and narration, as tools to convey both thoughts, feelings and actions. When almost every line has a description like that, it become 'noisy', and interrupts the flow of dialogue. What's worse is when it's not only describing how things are said, it's describing actions too!
(Pleading while trying not to type too fast) How about you trust your reader's intelligence, and in your own ability to write dialogue that makes sense, combined with fitting images. Takes this example from Maya.
I wish you luck, because the girls and the scenarios your cooking up are hot, but I feel like you're standing over me whispering cues to your characters over my shoulder, and I can't get hard when I'm constantly reminded of the harsh reality that this is a manufactured product.
(Annoyed) I wish I could hide these comma-encased descriptions! I don't want to read the actors' instructions from the raw script when experiencing the story, it breaks my immersion thoroughly!
(Disappointed) This is a visual novel, a medium where you have both pictures, dialogue, and narration, as tools to convey both thoughts, feelings and actions. When almost every line has a description like that, it become 'noisy', and interrupts the flow of dialogue. What's worse is when it's not only describing how things are said, it's describing actions too!
(Pleading while trying not to type too fast) How about you trust your reader's intelligence, and in your own ability to write dialogue that makes sense, combined with fitting images. Takes this example from Maya.
What's from across the room? That's not a sentence, but it's part of her dialogue, and only makes sense when paired with the actual line after the next click. Couldn't it be a normal narration? Like "Maya stared at them from across the room, arms crossed and impatient." That would at least not be so jarring. But you know what? You have this excellent picture that says a thousand words already:
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This picture, and the words she actually says, already makes the previous description superfluous. You already are able to do what I'm asking for here. You should endeavour to write in a way that makes the character's feelings apparent to the reader, and when these feelings are not transparent, pair the lines with fitting images to together conveys the story you want to tell. The same with actions, or use proper narration if images are too complicated or time consuming to render. Because you want us to experience a story in words and pictures, and a formal manuscript.
I wish you luck, because the girls and the scenarios your cooking up are hot, but I feel like you're standing over me whispering cues to your characters over my shoulder, and I can't get hard when I'm constantly reminded of the harsh reality that this is a manufactured product.
Thanks! Loved the comment xD(Upbeat) Speaking of hiding words!
(Annoyed) I wish I could hide these comma-encased descriptions! I don't want to read the actors' instructions from the raw script when experiencing the story, it breaks my immersion thoroughly!
(Disappointed) This is a visual novel, a medium where you have both pictures, dialogue, and narration, as tools to convey both thoughts, feelings and actions. When almost every line has a description like that, it become 'noisy', and interrupts the flow of dialogue. What's worse is when it's not only describing how things are said, it's describing actions too!
(Pleading while trying not to type too fast) How about you trust your reader's intelligence, and in your own ability to write dialogue that makes sense, combined with fitting images. Takes this example from Maya.
What's from across the room? That's not a sentence, but it's part of her dialogue, and only makes sense when paired with the actual line after the next click. Couldn't it be a normal narration? Like "Maya stared at them from across the room, arms crossed and impatient." That would at least not be so jarring. But you know what? You have this excellent picture that says a thousand words already:
You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.
This picture, and the words she actually says, already makes the previous description superfluous. You already are able to do what I'm asking for here. You should endeavour to write in a way that makes the character's feelings apparent to the reader, and when these feelings are not transparent, pair the lines with fitting images to together conveys the story you want to tell. The same with actions, or use proper narration if images are too complicated or time consuming to render. Because you want us to experience a story in words and pictures, and a formal manuscript.
I wish you luck, because the girls and the scenarios your cooking up are hot, but I feel like you're standing over me whispering cues to your characters over my shoulder, and I can't get hard when I'm constantly reminded of the harsh reality that this is a manufactured product.
You are right, I didnt stop to think about it but it makes no sense, definetelly changing this in next release