Help me create a story for the villagers of my first game!

[arthasla]

Hi guys!

I'm the dev beind Lost to monsters, a mini game made with AI that encountered a little success and now i'm making a bigger game with more ambition.

The new game is called "Aysha in the Valley of Lust," a medieval-fantasy RPG in which the main character, Aysha, flees her old town to start a new life and try to make her fortune in the small village of Altia.

I'm currently in the development phase, focusing on quests, dialogue, and renderings of Altia's villagers, and I'd love some ideas for creating a quality story.

I'm not a great writer, but I know many of you have great ideas I can use to improve my projects.

I'll now introduce you to some of these villagers. Spoiler alert!

Spoiler: Spoiler

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I'm open to all suggestions and hope the different characters will give you some ideas. If you have any questions about the game, please feel free to ask.

Some renders seems to have defects and lack quality but they are raw png and i improve their quality with the in game engine.

Sorry for my poor english, it is not my main language.

 

[voronkov]

Интересно. Это относиться к тому что спрашивал в других темах по поводу встречи с разными персонажами в подземелье и лесу или это другая игра. Из того что я советовал будет что то в вашей игре? Могу немного идей дать, насчёт действий с персонажами или ещё чего то?

Interesting. Is this related to what I asked in other threads about meeting different characters in the dungeon and forest or is this a different game. Will any of what I suggested be in your game? Can I give you some ideas about actions with characters or something else?

 

[arthasla]

Интересно. Это относиться к тому что спрашивал в других темах по поводу встречи с разными персонажами в подземелье и лесу или это другая игра. Из того что я советовал будет что то в вашей игре? Могу немного идей дать, насчёт действий с персонажами или ещё чего то?

Interesting. Is this related to what I asked in other threads about meeting different characters in the dungeon and forest or is this a different game. Will any of what I suggested be in your game? Can I give you some ideas about actions with characters or something else?

Yes, it should be the same game and if you already gave me ideas that I liked, it's written somewhere in my "good ideas notepad" , but like I said, I'm open to new suggestions and ideas.

 

[voronkov]

Я думаю, что надо создавать не только боевые, но и обычные задания. Задания от разных деревенских персонажей
Мера деревни может гонять ее по поручениям страны. После всех поручений, когда их невыполнение может быть выполнено повторяющегося развратного задания для того, чтобы заработать эти деньги,
капитаны стражи, например, могут обыскать ее, когда она вернётся в деревню
Ведьма может раздать задание по ограничению своих же целей чудовищно для того, что бы вынести главную героиню. В каждом разом они будут сильнее всё
Ткачиха, хотя может быть просто красивым персонажем в разных позах при общении или при тех или иных сюжетных действиях. Она может, например, похитить бандитов.


I think that it is necessary to create not only combat, but also ordinary tasks. Tasks from different village characters
The mayor of the village can drive her on the instructions of the country. After all the tasks, when their failure can be performed a repeating depraved task in order to earn this money,
guard captains, for example, can search her when she returns to the village
The witch can give out a task to limit her own goals monstrously in order to take out the main character. Each time they will be stronger than all
The weaver, although she can simply be a beautiful character in different poses when communicating or in certain plot actions. She can, for example, kidnap bandits
. This is if briefly about those characters without thinking.

 

[arthasla]

Я думаю, что надо создавать не только боевые, но и обычные задания. Задания от разных деревенских персонажей
Мера деревни может гонять ее по поручениям страны. После всех поручений, когда их невыполнение может быть выполнено повторяющегося развратного задания для того, чтобы заработать эти деньги,
капитаны стражи, например, могут обыскать ее, когда она вернётся в деревню
Ведьма может раздать задание по ограничению своих же целей чудовищно для того, что бы вынести главную героиню. В каждом разом они будут сильнее всё
Ткачиха, хотя может быть просто красивым персонажем в разных позах при общении или при тех или иных сюжетных действиях. Она может, например, похитить бандитов.


I think that it is necessary to create not only combat, but also ordinary tasks. Tasks from different village characters
The mayor of the village can drive her on the instructions of the country. After all the tasks, when their failure can be performed a repeating depraved task in order to earn this money,
guard captains, for example, can search her when she returns to the village
The witch can give out a task to limit her own goals monstrously in order to take out the main character. Each time they will be stronger than all
The weaver, although she can simply be a beautiful character in different poses when communicating or in certain plot actions. She can, for example, kidnap bandits
. This is if briefly about those characters without thinking.

I like the ideas especially the one where the captain search her! He can abuse of his power on her.

 

[pf2222]

I'd just like to say that you'd need to define to the reader why MC expected to strike it big in a "small" village. Make the village something that used to stand out, before the bandits. Secondly, how rough are the bandits, do they turn into playboys on the sight of a new woman? Because in such scenario it would be hard for MC to do anything, thus she'd need diversions and sneaky tactics. I can only imagine the innkeeper being female in a bandit rich town would bid to their will or they'd show her some respect because she provides them with something other than her body. Kind of like that anime about the guy who died and got reincarnated and is spending every episode trying to die, I can't remember the name, but it's only been like two or so seasons ago. In any case there's an episode with a redheaded girl who's dancing and getting customers drunk while the mere existence of her bar helps the bandits in their own gambling business. Yknow, people come for one thing and start another. You could do something like that but I'm not sure how exactly you can make it unique as to not be a mere copycat. For starters, think of what the innkeeper can provide and how she avoids danger. Simply giving beer, sounds too easy for someone who can just take it. As for Bastien, you can make him a used to be hunter for hire, so it's less common for any kingdom to be dependant on him and trying to track him down, but while that is the case, it's not stopping you to introduce someone who's trying to find him because of his previous accomplishments, or... sins (as viewed by the losing party). You could make him be a good person but also someone who stole something of grave importance. Something that he's got no reason to part with but also cannot use anymore, yet its' only usage keeps people wondering what is the source (in other words, people are trying to find what he's taken). And thus, he refuses to help, as to avoid standing out.

I suggest summarize what ideas you got so far after talking to people, so it's easier to keep track and reply with up to date ideas.

 

[Geigi]

The most attractive ugly bastard...

 

[arthasla]

I'd just like to say that you'd need to define to the reader why MC expected to strike it big in a "small" village. Make the village something that used to stand out, before the bandits. Secondly, how rough are the bandits, do they turn into playboys on the sight of a new woman? Because in such scenario it would be hard for MC to do anything, thus she'd need diversions and sneaky tactics. I can only imagine the innkeeper being female in a bandit rich town would bid to their will or they'd show her some respect because she provides them with something other than her body. Kind of like that anime about the guy who died and got reincarnated and is spending every episode trying to die, I can't remember the name, but it's only been like two or so seasons ago. In any case there's an episode with a redheaded girl who's dancing and getting customers drunk while the mere existence of her bar helps the bandits in their own gambling business. Yknow, people come for one thing and start another. You could do something like that but I'm not sure how exactly you can make it unique as to not be a mere copycat. For starters, think of what the innkeeper can provide and how she avoids danger. Simply giving beer, sounds too easy for someone who can just take it. As for Bastien, you can make him a used to be hunter for hire, so it's less common for any kingdom to be dependant on him and trying to track him down, but while that is the case, it's not stopping you to introduce someone who's trying to find him because of his previous accomplishments, or... sins (as viewed by the losing party). You could make him be a good person but also someone who stole something of grave importance. Something that he's got no reason to part with but also cannot use anymore, yet its' only usage keeps people wondering what is the source (in other words, people are trying to find what he's taken). And thus, he refuses to help, as to avoid standing out.

I suggest summarize what ideas you got so far after talking to people, so it's easier to keep track and reply with up to date ideas.

Sorry for the late reply, the village was once notable for its ruins of an ancient civilization full of precious relics and trinkets. It attracted many adventurers during Aisha's father's time, but bandits came and stole them, and then, once they were all gone, they decided to go looking for these treasures on their own. There's Marko, whom Aisha believes to be the leader of the bandits, but it's actually a much tougher man who leads them, and this man doesn't care much for the village. He's looking for a legendary relic in the ruins that could grant him great power (of course, it'll be something like being possessed by a demon or something else that would give him a huge dick or make any woman fall to his knees, I'm not there yet in the writing).

The bandits leader rules with an iron fist on his men's, he want them to search for ruins every day and doesn't want any of them to slack off or try to look around the village to rape all girls in sight.
Also the ruins around the village was completely emptyed out so there is no point of looting around there no more, the bandits must look deep in the forest far from the village.
Marko is the only bandits who is dumb enough to disobey his leader.

I also like how you see all the possibilities with bastien. I might not make it as deep as i want to keep my story simple but i think i'll use some of this for his background.

 

[arobotbrain1]

Okay, I like the start, so I put some thought into this.

Aysha
Will there be a player's interpretation of this character? At least in terms of archetypes? Classically, the slut, the manipulator, the naive innocent, assertive protagonist, etc? I realize this adds a fair bit of work, because a scene between her and an NPC plays very different for each archetype, and might even require different images to at least refect the different facial expressions.
Also, will there be stats for the character?

Isabella
I could see her as a corrupting influence, as Aysha sees her "special realationships" with others, such as the bandits, Alford, etc.
She could also be a kind benefactor who is taken advantage of as she tries to protect Aysha.

Bastien
Besides him being an (admittedly much older) romantic interest, I'm not seeing much potential here myself.

Orok
I could see Orok being more accepting of Aysha than most others in the town, as a fellow outcast himself. Also, he's still an orc under it all. Maybe he has trouble controlling his savage nature when aroused.

Alford
Maid option is great. I don't see that he would need to have some dealings with a succubus to be a lecherous old man.
As someone mentioned, he should probably be a bit uglier.
Also, Aysha is probably not the only outlet in town for his desires.
I also see potential for him to work with Dalhia, trying to get her to help him seduce other women, or to augment his physica attributes or his verility.

Ines
Couple ways you could go. She could rebel against her father by being a slut, being a kind and giving soul, or even by spending with with Orok, or trusting the bandits against Alford's warnings.

Dalhia
Love the ideas for her.
This could lead to Alysha or Ines being taken by bandits, eventually joining them. I also love the pregnancy/marriage to Orok as well for her. These paths, though, seem like they lead to a game over. They should have a few steps and a bit of a slower burn than just a potion or spell and it's over.

Jasper
Love the idea here as well.
She could also cheat on Jasper during dates, like sneaking off to a barn during a bonfire party, or while Jasper is performing some task during a picnic date. She could even have sex with Jasper's father when spending the night at his home.

Haimmon
The idea works as suggested. He could also have a revenge path if he's driven out of town.

Skunder
He could be an obstacle in some tasks, who trades favours for looking the other way.

Marko
Having him pretending to be more power and influential is great. He could convince Aysha that he can make her the bandit queen by his side.
Mistreatment of villagers would be trading favours for safety, using secrets against the women, or working with Dalhia (or used by her).

 

[Goeffel]

how come the ugly bastard looks better than most other males?

 

[arthasla]

The most attractive ugly bastard...

how come the ugly bastard looks better than most other males?

You are right, my definition of "Ugly bastard" was wrong, I had in mind that it was a despicable character with the power to blackmail a woman with impunity, but it seems that I forgot the very principle of ugly.

I won't change him because I like him like that, but I will create a really ugly character this time in the person of Jasper's father.

 

[arthasla]

Okay, I like the start, so I put some thought into this.

Aysha
Will there be a player's interpretation of this character? At least in terms of archetypes? Classically, the slut, the manipulator, the naive innocent, assertive protagonist, etc? I realize this adds a fair bit of work, because a scene between her and an NPC plays very different for each archetype, and might even require different images to at least refect the different facial expressions.
Also, will there be stats for the character?

Isabella
I could see her as a corrupting influence, as Aysha sees her "special realationships" with others, such as the bandits, Alford, etc.
She could also be a kind benefactor who is taken advantage of as she tries to protect Aysha.

Bastien
Besides him being an (admittedly much older) romantic interest, I'm not seeing much potential here myself.

Orok
I could see Orok being more accepting of Aysha than most others in the town, as a fellow outcast himself. Also, he's still an orc under it all. Maybe he has trouble controlling his savage nature when aroused.

Alford
Maid option is great. I don't see that he would need to have some dealings with a succubus to be a lecherous old man.
As someone mentioned, he should probably be a bit uglier.
Also, Aysha is probably not the only outlet in town for his desires.
I also see potential for him to work with Dalhia, trying to get her to help him seduce other women, or to augment his physica attributes or his verility.

Ines
Couple ways you could go. She could rebel against her father by being a slut, being a kind and giving soul, or even by spending with with Orok, or trusting the bandits against Alford's warnings.

Dalhia
Love the ideas for her.
This could lead to Alysha or Ines being taken by bandits, eventually joining them. I also love the pregnancy/marriage to Orok as well for her. These paths, though, seem like they lead to a game over. They should have a few steps and a bit of a slower burn than just a potion or spell and it's over.

Jasper
Love the idea here as well.
She could also cheat on Jasper during dates, like sneaking off to a barn during a bonfire party, or while Jasper is performing some task during a picnic date. She could even have sex with Jasper's father when spending the night at his home.

Haimmon
The idea works as suggested. He could also have a revenge path if he's driven out of town.

Skunder
He could be an obstacle in some tasks, who trades favours for looking the other way.

Marko
Having him pretending to be more power and influential is great. He could convince Aysha that he can make her the bandit queen by his side.
Mistreatment of villagers would be trading favours for safety, using secrets against the women, or working with Dalhia (or used by her).

Aysha is an overconfident woman. She believes she can change the world, but she often ends up being raped, blackmailed, or used by someone else.
Yes, there will be active stats (Health, Mana, Lust), but I've removed the passive stats for now because it would take a long time to make them interesting and meaningful in the game. I don't want this project to take more than five years of development.

Isabella was meant to be mistreated. She is too nice, too scared and she is mistreated because of it.

Others have suggested that Orok would go savage, especially in his forge because of the heat, and I like that idea.

I wanted Alford to face some kind of demonic presence to justify his actions in the village, or rather his inaction against the bandits. Later, Aysha, with the help of the villagers, might have a real reason to banish him from the village, other than "This guy is bad, let's get rid of him," but that can still be changed, of course.

I like that Ines rebel agaisnt her father by beign a slut, I think we're coming up with some good ideas for that character.

Dalhia's story is my favorite so far, but yes, it needs a lot of working before it ends with her and Orok.

I love the idea of revenge for Haimmon and Alford; I'll definitely think about it.

That's what I originally wanted for Skunder: just for him to be an obstacle and nothing more. I might use him in some scenes just for humor, like him falling or acting like a fool, I don't know.

Marko convincing Aysha to become the bandit queen is a fun idea i love it! I could see him using this false influence, and Aysha would fall for it like an idiot.

Thanks for your ideas, they're all great!

 

[Doorknob22]

I'm not a great writer

You are great for knowing this, but what you should do is look for a stable and committed writing partner, someone who will be committed to the success of the game, instead of asking a bunch of random people in the forum how to proceed.

My advice: go to the Recruitment Forum, find yourself a partner (or a paid writer, greed is a good motivation), and move from there. Good luck!

 

[arthasla]

You are great for knowing this, but what you should do is look for a stable and committed writing partner, someone who will be committed to the success of the game, instead of asking a bunch of random people in the forum how to proceed.

My advice: go to the Recruitment Forum, find yourself a partner (or a paid writer, greed is a good motivation), and move from there. Good luck!

I've tried finding people to write a story, dialogue, and characters, but ultimately, I prefer to maintain control over every aspect of the writing.
My only concern is coming up with original ideas, which is why I really like asking members of the F95zone community for advice. I don't have just one person's point of view, and many have very good ideas to offer.
Plus, I've already found someone to edit my work afterward, so I think I prefer this approach.

 

[Geigi]

You are right, my definition of "Ugly bastard" was wrong, I had in mind that it was a despicable character with the power to blackmail a woman with impunity, but it seems that I forgot the very principle of ugly.

I won't change him because I like him like that, but I will create a really ugly character this time in the person of Jasper's father.

Actually, I support you to not change him, I like him too. I have never seen attractive older men in FMC games(dilfs or gilfs) and as a woman that's saddening.

 

[arobotbrain1]

Aysha is an overconfident woman. She believes she can change the world, but she often ends up being raped, blackmailed, or used by someone else.
Yes, there will be active stats (Health, Mana, Lust), but I've removed the passive stats for now because it would take a long time to make them interesting and meaningful in the game. I don't want this project to take more than five years of development.

Five years is a while. I was impressed how quickly you moved on your previous game, though, so I'll be eager to see how this one goes.

Isabella was meant to be mistreated. She is too nice, too scared and she is mistreated because of it.

Then there are some obvious ways she could be used by Marko, Alford, Haimmon, and maybe be an ideal person for Dalhia to experiment on before she moves to other targets.

Others have suggested that Orok would go savage, especially in his forge because of the heat, and I like that idea.

I wanted Alford to face some kind of demonic presence to justify his actions in the village, or rather his inaction against the bandits. Later, Aysha, with the help of the villagers, might have a real reason to banish him from the village, other than "This guy is bad, let's get rid of him," but that can still be changed, of course.

I like that Ines rebel agaisnt her father by beign a slut, I think we're coming up with some good ideas for that character.

There's no shortage of men for her to hook up with in your list. Maybe something between her and Haimmon might add some drama as well?

Dalhia's story is my favorite so far, but yes, it needs a lot of working before it ends with her and Orok.

It might also be good if there is a man in town she is interested in, who then only has eyes for Aysha and/or Ines.

I love the idea of revenge for Haimmon and Alford; I'll definitely think about it.

That's what I originally wanted for Skunder: just for him to be an obstacle and nothing more. I might use him in some scenes just for humor, like him falling or acting like a fool, I don't know.

Marko convincing Aysha to become the bandit queen is a fun idea i love it! I could see him using this false influence, and Aysha would fall for it like an idiot.

Thanks for your ideas, they're all great!

Obviously there seems to be an overall goal for Aysha, a lot of of stories she can get caught up in along the way. Are there alternative endings as well, if she ends up pregnant and/or married to someone?

 

[arthasla]

Five years is a while. I was impressed how quickly you moved on your previous game, though, so I'll be eager to see how this one goes.



Then there are some obvious ways she could be used by Marko, Alford, Haimmon, and maybe be an ideal person for Dalhia to experiment on before she moves to other targets.



There's no shortage of men for her to hook up with in your list. Maybe something between her and Haimmon might add some drama as well?



It might also be good if there is a man in town she is interested in, who then only has eyes for Aysha and/or Ines.



Obviously there seems to be an overall goal for Aysha, a lot of of stories she can get caught up in along the way. Are there alternative endings as well, if she ends up pregnant and/or married to someone?

Oof i don't know if i'm going to add multiple ending, for now it's too early in development and i'm kinda still in the conception stage.

 

[arobotbrain1]

Oof i don't know if i'm going to add multiple ending, for now it's too early in development and i'm kinda still in the conception stage.

I guess by multiple endings, I mostly mean game over scenarios.

Examples:
Alford somehow makes Aysha to permanantly become his maid.

Haimmon discovers Aysha's plans and defeats her, keeping her as a concubine.

Marko sells Aysha out to the other bandits, making her a permanent captive of the bandits.

Becoming married to Orok. Or becoming married to Jasper(while having a relationship with his father).

Or just being defeated by Dalhia's schemes.

 

[arthasla]

Oh, I see what you mean. I did that with the combat system, where Aysha would have a bad ending depending on the enemy she fights, for example, bandits:



or beastmens :



But maybe I could put dialogue options during the conversation to give the player the possibility to get a bad ending with these characters, that could be a good idea.

 

[huehuehueneo]

Here's a suggestion for story and it not only gives context to history but has a personal connection between the antagonist and the protagonist in Aysha. Perhaps Alford and Haimmon fought with Aysha's father during the war and had many arguments with him in how to settle the war? Aysha's father could have wanted to keep fighting where as Alford wanted to end the war, settle and keep the status quo. This would be reflected in the present setting of the game. Aysha comes into the village to create change, where as those two do not want change.


Maybe Alford and Haimmon were soldiers where as Aysha's father was an adventurer hired as a mercenary, and ever since those two have had a deep disliking and distrust of adventurers ever since. This distrust would be brought upon Aysha when she first comes to the village. Upon discovery who her father is, perhaps they devise plans for her demise? It could be that Alford and Haimmon have a pact with the bandits and monsters. Each faction controls their territory and adventurers are secretly lured into the village to find the relics only to be robbed and enslaved. Maybe the end goal is for Aysha to expose the corruption, unite the village against them, and restore the village to its former glory.

Also, it may be good to expand on why Aysha fled her old town. Was she framed? Did she do something wrong or experience failure? Would these secrets of her past life cause friendly characters to initially distrust her and have her work harder to earn their trust?

The other question I wonder is how does the village make money. Is it simply a farming village? Do they make money from adventurers visiting to find the relics and trinkets? If it is the latter, it could play into Alford and the other antagonists in charge entrapping the adventurer's, robbing, and enslaving them in secret.