- Sep 30, 2022
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How to excite a girl without giving her money ?
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if you really thought money would do it you're in bigger trouble than you think.
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Long answer:
Depends on her current mood + on which day she is and is not on her periods + what she finds intriguing + what she likes and how she behaves in certain edgy situations, etc.
In short it's a puzzle and you can estimate it to an extent by pushing her buttons.
Short answer:
Learn to read where is she now, where she want to be and what she wants on emotional rollercoaster ride.
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Life is itself a school. You just need to pay attention and observe others. Over the long period of time this sort of becomes a habit and you do it on sub-conscious level. Observing and understanding other perceptions is the key.It's a pity there is no school where they teach this
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- Jun 10, 2017
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There's a confusion here, surely due to the fact that you are a guy.
Not that guys are clueless regarding sex, or regarding women, but they have external genitals. Be a bit excited, and you'll notice it, because you starts to get a hard on.
But girls genitals are internal. They can perfectly be excited, to some extend, and be totally clueless about it. Their labias will be mouthful of blood, their clitoris erected, perhaps even that their panty will starts to be a bit wet, and they'll just no know it ; some can, but based on my limited experience (I'm just one, they are milliards), it's an exception.
For a man to want to have sex, being excited will be enough, precisely because as I said, they are aware about it. But for women they also need to be in the mood, or if you prefer, to be mentally excited in top of being physically excited.
And there, like | Vee | said, it's a riddle. It depend on the context and on the girl herself, because each one being unique, each one will have her own triggers.
Not that guys are clueless regarding sex, or regarding women, but they have external genitals. Be a bit excited, and you'll notice it, because you starts to get a hard on.
But girls genitals are internal. They can perfectly be excited, to some extend, and be totally clueless about it. Their labias will be mouthful of blood, their clitoris erected, perhaps even that their panty will starts to be a bit wet, and they'll just no know it ; some can, but based on my limited experience (I'm just one, they are milliards), it's an exception.
For a man to want to have sex, being excited will be enough, precisely because as I said, they are aware about it. But for women they also need to be in the mood, or if you prefer, to be mentally excited in top of being physically excited.
And there, like | Vee | said, it's a riddle. It depend on the context and on the girl herself, because each one being unique, each one will have her own triggers.
- Sep 30, 2022
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It's a little weird to read this from you knowing that you're gay.
So, does this mean that some women are aroused but don't even know about it? Do they also have to be in the mood for this? And also get mentally aroused? Damn, it's better to keep fucking for money further
- Jun 10, 2017
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*sigh*
Globally speaking, the answer is yes.
I can't find one right now (too hot, my brain is partly fried) but there's many studies demonstrating this.
[from memory] It started in the 10's, when a German study that decided to not limits it's data from the sole subject. It was about how aroused people, both male and female, where about straight and homosexual (both gay and lesbian) content. They where showing porn pictures of all type, and the subject as to press a button when he felt at least a bit of excitement. Except that in addition to that button, there were captors at genital level.
While, for men, there where an accuracy between the button press and the captors that was around 90%, for women it was below 50%. To simplify, they were physically aroused, but not mentally aroused. Therefore their genitals where showing proof of that arousing, while they didn't pressed the button.
Starting there, most studies regarding female arousal included that double input scheme, and tend to confirm the difference.
After, there's no global scheme either.
There's peoples more aware of themselves than others. Take wardrobe malfunction by example, there's peoples who immediately know it, because sensible enough to feel that their clothes do not press anymore on the right part of their body, and there's ones who are totally clueless. And the same apply for women arousal. Some are more aware of their physical reaction than the average, others are less aware than the average.
And the context is also to take into account. If the attention is focused on something else, even men can sometimes miss that they starts to have a hard on.
They do. I remember less for other women I've been with, but it was not rare that my wife agreed to have sex "because why not", just for me to discover a pussy eagerly waiting for me ; my attempt to set the mood were way more successful with her body than with her mind.
Well, with times you tend to have a better reading an be able to guess when the body is at it, even if the mind is reluctant. There's a bit more tension in the body, the eyes are a bit more brights, more often focused on you, and small things like that.
But that surely vary depending on the girl, and it need times to learn that.
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I am glad to see some confirmation of the opinion that marriages are not necessary. So my opinion about this is not as wrong
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Just a wild idea here, how about talking to her and finding out what she likes and then doing that?
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I call her my wife because we have two children and were living together since 18 years when she died, and would have been still together if... But we never married.
Marriage is just the legalization of your love, nothing more. It help with some things, like taxes by example, but change nothing to what you feel for the other. I guess it's why in countries where religion take a too important place the divorce rate tend to be higher. After few months together you're pressured to marry each other, and you expect that being married will solve all the issues, while in fact it create more because you suddenly feel trapped.
I don't know for him, but personally I would say that it depend on the girl.
Some don't hesitate to talk about the subject, some don't like to do it. There's even some, specially the youngest but not only them, who in fact don't even know what to answer. But yeah, the best option is always to talk about it with her. What do she love, what make her in the mood, and more important what is an instant mood killer.
The last point is the most important. Strictly speaking, if you're at home, already in a relationship, and offer to go down on her, there's high chance that she'll not say no, and then there's high chances that she end asking you to fuck her good. After all, there's nothing better to put a girl in the mood that bringing her near to an orgasm.
But the mood killers, they are fatal. She can have a drenched panty and suddenly turn as dry as the Sahara. I knew a girl like that when I was still a student. Try to kiss her, and you'll end with blue balls. I guess that it was purely psychological ; you kiss the person you love, and she was probably finding herself too young to commit for such serious feeling.
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Yes it does. Unless you're dating an e.g. Amish women, most do know to some degree what they like because they discover it while masturbating and / or when they have been with other partners. They have some idea of which parts of their bodies feel better, react better etc.
So even if they don't have any specific requests or ideas you both still have something to work with if you have honest, frank and mature conversations about it.
As for personal experience, I never met a woman who had no idea about her body. I did date one who was reluctant to talk about sex and it took awhile to convince her that it was it was ok to open up and even for her to be a little selfish in bed but even she knew what she liked, she just had trouble expressing it. That just took some patience and understanding on my part and a commitment from both of us to be open and honest with each other and it paid off not just in the bedroom but it also made communication in other areas easier and brought us closer.
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I am unsure if you are talking about initial attraction or going from interest to sex. For the first:
Just like the others said talking to them and showing genuine interest are the way to go. It helps if you have things in common and can be enthusiastic about it together. Do try to show interest in her and not make it about yourself. You can share about yourself but it should be roughly 50/50. ask questions rather than tell stories. That last one is a common mistake by men.
And here is the fucked up part: The more you think about everything I wrote above the worse it will go. If you are busy thinking about what to ask next, it means you aren't listening to her and not in the moment. The conversation will stall and the more you are panicking about it stalling and the less contact you have with her. So the less you think about it the better.
It is not a sure thing, of course. You might need to talk to quite a few women before a girl shows interest. This is not something you can control, if she is gay (or straight depending on your own gender), in a relationship, very stressed (money issues, family issues, work issues, school issues etc), sick or otherwise mentally unavailable you can do what you like but you'll never get there. The older you get the smaller the pool of available women will be (up to a point at least) but it is never zero.
Looks count for something but not in the way you think. It's not about how much you conform to societal norms but if she thinks you are beautiful. (Think about all the girls you crushed on there are a decent number that wouldn't fit the societal norms, right. Maybe even none depending on your preferences). Though looks are more important to men than women generally speaking so even then it is not a dealbreaker.
Having to pay to get a girl to pay you any attention = run to the hills. I don't think I ever had to spend a dime before a girl showed interest in me and I am far from a Casanova. The most I may have spent is like the drinks I bought at a bar where I met a girl I talked to. (Maybe I did buy her a drink at some point but she would reciprocate, so it would balance out. Though that is normal in my culture.)
Spending money comes later, in the dating phase, but even than it should not be a one way street and a lot of good dating ideas are (almost) free. Think a picknick in the park, a nice walk through the woods, a bike ride etc. I'm sure the internet is full of ideas. Spending money does not equal success. Spending money on an activity she does not like will be unsuccessful as it shows you did not pay attention to her. Also a picknick shows you put in some effort while buying her an ice cream when you happen to pass an ice cream vendor does not.
for the second please remember that for women in general foreplay starts a lot earlier than for men (exceptions apply to both sides). Also substances are a bad way to get a girl excited. While alcohol loosens inhibitions it also dehydrates. Something you do not want if you want to get her ready for sex.
In fact the reason the first time hurts for so many women is a combination of nerves (muscles tighten when stressed including in the vaginal walls), dehydration do to alcohol use (making it harder for mucus cells to lubricate the vagina) and not enough (and ineffective) foreplay so she isn't excited enough, (the vagina changes shape slightly if a girl is excited to better accommodate a penis + the aforementioned lubrication).
As for money, I don't think a girl ever got wet by you spending money. They may have sex with you for money but getting wet is a different story.
Just like the others said talking to them and showing genuine interest are the way to go. It helps if you have things in common and can be enthusiastic about it together. Do try to show interest in her and not make it about yourself. You can share about yourself but it should be roughly 50/50. ask questions rather than tell stories. That last one is a common mistake by men.
And here is the fucked up part: The more you think about everything I wrote above the worse it will go. If you are busy thinking about what to ask next, it means you aren't listening to her and not in the moment. The conversation will stall and the more you are panicking about it stalling and the less contact you have with her. So the less you think about it the better.
It is not a sure thing, of course. You might need to talk to quite a few women before a girl shows interest. This is not something you can control, if she is gay (or straight depending on your own gender), in a relationship, very stressed (money issues, family issues, work issues, school issues etc), sick or otherwise mentally unavailable you can do what you like but you'll never get there. The older you get the smaller the pool of available women will be (up to a point at least) but it is never zero.
Looks count for something but not in the way you think. It's not about how much you conform to societal norms but if she thinks you are beautiful. (Think about all the girls you crushed on there are a decent number that wouldn't fit the societal norms, right. Maybe even none depending on your preferences). Though looks are more important to men than women generally speaking so even then it is not a dealbreaker.
Having to pay to get a girl to pay you any attention = run to the hills. I don't think I ever had to spend a dime before a girl showed interest in me and I am far from a Casanova. The most I may have spent is like the drinks I bought at a bar where I met a girl I talked to. (Maybe I did buy her a drink at some point but she would reciprocate, so it would balance out. Though that is normal in my culture.)
Spending money comes later, in the dating phase, but even than it should not be a one way street and a lot of good dating ideas are (almost) free. Think a picknick in the park, a nice walk through the woods, a bike ride etc. I'm sure the internet is full of ideas. Spending money does not equal success. Spending money on an activity she does not like will be unsuccessful as it shows you did not pay attention to her. Also a picknick shows you put in some effort while buying her an ice cream when you happen to pass an ice cream vendor does not.
for the second please remember that for women in general foreplay starts a lot earlier than for men (exceptions apply to both sides). Also substances are a bad way to get a girl excited. While alcohol loosens inhibitions it also dehydrates. Something you do not want if you want to get her ready for sex.
In fact the reason the first time hurts for so many women is a combination of nerves (muscles tighten when stressed including in the vaginal walls), dehydration do to alcohol use (making it harder for mucus cells to lubricate the vagina) and not enough (and ineffective) foreplay so she isn't excited enough, (the vagina changes shape slightly if a girl is excited to better accommodate a penis + the aforementioned lubrication).
As for money, I don't think a girl ever got wet by you spending money. They may have sex with you for money but getting wet is a different story.
- Jul 7, 2017
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