I need advice on story pacing

[igotnothingbettertodo]

i recently started a renpy project based on an old rpg campaign i played with some friends, the story was very simple and gave us a lot of room to mess around wich led to a very memorable game so i decided to base my game off that but the pace is a problem and i dont know how to solve it.
the story moments came in irregular bursts and ive never writen for a visual novel so i dont know how to properly order the events or add filler.
any and all advice would be apreciated

 

[Delex]

Story ist a complicated thing. I myself never wrote a game, but I am am in marketing and Storytelling is a huge part of every campaign. Also, I write books where the question is similar, but also completely different from games.

First of: If you write a visual novel, I assume that there isn't much "gameplay". Visual novels are in a certain way a "choose your own adventure"-book. Therefore, I would try to treat it like a story in literature.

1. You can of course pause with the main plot as long as you do not break immersion. A character that is sad because something happened in the story shouldn't be happy because a side-story demands it. Coherence is the most important thing if you want to keep up immersion.

2. Cut your darlings. It's a general rule in storytelling: Cut out the things that you love most, because more often than not, those are there not because they are necessary but because you personally like them. Funny side stories are the main offender here.

3. When it comes to the general pacing, try to follow the hero's journey if you are a beginner. Then try to order your story in a way that it fits that basic construct, and go from there. After every point you can put in a break with a side-story or a comic relief, the end should not be interrupted though. Regardless which version of the hero's journey you take, there can be more or less breaks.

4. In general you have to keep in mind that nobody in your potential audience cares about your characters. You must MAKE them care for them. Side stories are only interesting once I have already a connection with the protagonists, otherwise all you give me is something that is not important for the story and that doesn't interest me from a character-standpoint. Only add side stories / moments without importance once you are sure that the people are interested in your protagonist and the group around him!

5. In the end, it of course also depends on the story. Is it more heavy? Then you might NEED breaks. Is it light-heated? Then try to not interrupt it too often and ask yourself instead if you can combine side-stories with the main plot. DO NOT OVERLOAD YOUR NOVEL THOUGH. Too many stories, too many characters (especially that!!) and too much story content is always bad. Better plan a second part and see if the audience likes your stuff.

I hope this helps a little bit. Pacing is a big part of every creative process, therefore many things play into it. There is not the one right answer, but simply many puzzle pieces that you need to put together.

 

[igotnothingbettertodo]

Story ist a complicated thing. I myself never wrote a game, but I am am in marketing and Storytelling is a huge part of every campaign. Also, I write books where the question is similar, but also completely different from games.

First of: If you write a visual novel, I assume that there isn't much "gameplay". Visual novels are in a certain way a "choose your own adventure"-book. Therefore, I would try to treat it like a story in literature.

1. You can of course pause with the main plot as long as you do not break immersion. A character that is sad because something happened in the story shouldn't be happy because a side-story demands it. Coherence is the most important thing if you want to keep up immersion.

2. Cut your darlings. It's a general rule in storytelling: Cut out the things that you love most, because more often than not, those are there not because they are necessary but because you personally like them. Funny side stories are the main offender here.

3. When it comes to the general pacing, try to follow the hero's journey if you are a beginner. Then try to order your story in a way that it fits that basic construct, and go from there. After every point you can put in a break with a side-story or a comic relief, the end should not be interrupted though. Regardless which version of the hero's journey you take, there can be more or less breaks.

4. In general you have to keep in mind that nobody in your potential audience cares about your characters. You must MAKE them care for them. Side stories are only interesting once I have already a connection with the protagonists, otherwise all you give me is something that is not important for the story and that doesn't interest me from a character-standpoint. Only add side stories / moments without importance once you are sure that the people are interested in your protagonist and the group around him!

5. In the end, it of course also depends on the story. Is it more heavy? Then you might NEED breaks. Is it light-heated? Then try to not interrupt it too often and ask yourself instead if you can combine side-stories with the main plot. DO NOT OVERLOAD YOUR NOVEL THOUGH. Too many stories, too many characters (especially that!!) and too much story content is always bad. Better plan a second part and see if the audience likes your stuff.

I hope this helps a little bit. Pacing is a big part of every creative process, therefore many things play into it. There is not the one right answer, but simply many puzzle pieces that you need to put together.

thanks for the advice, could i bother you with one mor question? to make a long story short there were four players for this campaign with diferent acounts of the events and personalities so i dont know wich to use

 

[Untolddead]

Is there a need to choose one? This is a DND game or something right? Usually tabletop gamers don't split the party so they should be together or in groups in most situations. The party itself is can be the character.

 

[khumak]

To me the most important thing to keep in mind as far as pacing for the story, is to make sure that there's always something interesting going on throughout the entire story. So don't make us grind through 8 hours of boring stuff and then put all the good stuff at the end, and don't make it all available right from day 1 either.

Dole out the good stuff at a steady pace throughout the whole game. Some girls are easy. So it's fine if there's some options for sex right from the get go. Some girls are the more traditional "girl next door" that it makes more sense for the slow burn before they give it up.

Also, interesting doesn't have to only mean sex. You could have confrontations with bad guys or other non sex related stuff as well that's interesting. Overcoming some rival or other obstacle can be quite satisfying even if it doesn't lead to sex. For an adult game you might as well combine the two though. You beat your rival, you get to fuck his girl too. That sort of thing.

 

[TacoHoleStory]

When stories feel slow it's usually because the reader/player doesn't feel like there's any progress being made towards the main goal. In this case it would be the lewd scenes or the resolution to the story. Are all of the scenes progressing the plot/story forwards? Is something changing in each scene? Without seeing what you have, the bandaid fix would be to sprinkle in moments where it seems like the main love interest is becoming more enamoured with the MC.

 

[Delex]

I would like to add that a good story is a good story with or without lewd stuff in it. If your story DEPENDS on erotic material, it is not a good story but simply an excuse to show people pictures, animations or videos.

There is nothing wrong with an Only-Sex-Game. Not all games NEED a story. But if you want to make a story - why not make it a good one, right? So write the story first and add the sex later, wherever it makes sense and wherever the player might need an additional motivation.

About the other question: I wouldn't recommend such a complicated setup for a beginner. Four protagonists are a hassle to write for: You have to give them each their own personality and keep track of them, make them react to everything differently ect.

If I were you, I would either try a different story entirely or write it in a way that there is ONE protagonist and three side-characters / companions. Then cut out all content that is not important for the protagonist, focus on his story and use the other three to flesh out the world. Use them to explain settings, to react to what is happening ect.
Do not burden yourself with too much, especially in your first project. Follow a simple story. One arc, one character, one goal. Not many side stories. Make it short, but sweet. Add other things later, after your main frame is working out. Believe me: Your motivation will fall flat once you start working on a story, and if you do not have an end in sight, you will give up. Therefor: Short, but with quality.

For starters, ask yourself the following points and build everything else around it:

1. Who is your hero? What makes him special, what makes him stand out. Most porn games think that giving a guy a big dick is enough to make him the perfect protagonist - think again. Also, keep in mind: We are not defined by our strength, but by our weaknesses. Think about what your hero CANNOT do, think about where he is lacking. That makes him relatable, and it makes his victories and conquests even sweeter afterwards.

Example: Fucking the cheerleader is nothing special if you are playing the big-dick-quarterback. But fucking the cheerleader after you started out as a nerdy nobody, this is better. Still boring (the story got told a thousand times already), but at least better.


2. What is the main goal of the game? What is the END. Write the end! Do it. Write the prologue, then write the end. Write THE FUCKING END. Because this way, you take away the opportunity to move the goal post later on. You write the end, then you write the rest. It gives you a clear vision where everything is going towards.

Example: The goal could be to kill the villain. The goal could be to fuck the villain. The goal could be to rescue the princess. Ect. - don't be too smart for your own good. Keep the goal simple.


3. What is your hero's goal? This is important, because in bad stories, the protagonist often just wants what the story needs. But your hero should start out with his own motivations. Maybe he wants to fuck the villain, but he cannot do that because the villain needs to die a virgin?
Maybe he hates to be a hero? Maybe he just wants to go home to his high school sweetheart, but instead he is forced by destiny to be the greatest hero ever known! Flesh out your base material - if your DND-Campaign doesn't give you enough, add stuff.

Example: Your hero wants become the cities champion. In the story, he will go much further, becoming the champion of humanity, but he would rather go back to his smaller world because he gets easily overwhelmed. This makes him relatable, but also is a good reason for comic relief - only his horniness makes him go forward, otherwise he would just leave at any given opportunity.


Those three steps could be your way to bring order into the chaos. Pacing is something completely different, as described in the other post, but first you need to go through your work and cut away everything that is not necessary and wouldn't interest your audience. It's a cruel process, because you need to cut your darlings, you need to throw out what you love - still, it is necessary. Otherwise, you end up with a huge to-do-list and an unfinished game in the end.