Ren'Py - Abandoned - IDK Jenna [v0.14] [MsLunarDelight]

Version: 0.14

Had a really hard time believing the characters. Fast forwarded after a while.

Writing

• characters' actions don't make much sense
  • mc has sexual intimacy with his mom and aunt (he can touch the butts and get up, close and personal with them) but he is a virgin and needs relationship advice then suddenly the intimacy gets halted because "boundaries" without any indication they had a problem with it in the first place
  • how old is MC that he has to wait on his mom to prepare food for him?
• dialogue has too much exposition - characters sound like they are reciting lines off a book
• crucial scenes missing that would otherwise merge and add context to sequences - consequently the playthrough is jarring
  • e.g. when mom reaches home and tells MC to go change so they can talk (as if they couldn't right now), right after she says that, she is jumping on MC saying how much she misses him (if this was a jump cut, it didn't work)

Design

• renders of models (and building) are clean and crisp
  • with good use of lighting
  • but some highly unrealistic bg models and cars
• varied female proportions - mom is bimbofied, aunt has big knockers and flat ass; 2 petite girls; and a curvy blonde
• music doesn't fit the scenes at all - when there is intimacy the music is too mellow, when there is an accident (MC walks in on naked girl and is sorry) it's too melancholic

Content: right now, mostly dialogue that tries to present each character
Sexual content: none currently except for two nude scenes (a blonde girl and MC's mom)


Simply put
Models are good enough, it's the writing holding everything back.

… dreadful boob sleeves present as well

I don't know what's more frustrating about this AVN. Is it the MC? who is a whiny little bitch. Is it the fact none of the other NPC's will talk to him? Or is it the fact that there is really no story here except for those two things.

v.12 - Really liked the renders a lot! Looks like a ton of detail went into making the characters as well, I think this game has a lot of potential if some extra things get added later like galleries. I'll keep my eyes on this one for sure though

(v0.12)

The nice thing is the renders- they're very well done, and the characters are both attractive and original. I didn't see any models I recognized from a dozen previous games.

As for the rest though... the game felt like a throwback to the Big Brother-style "demented hobbit" games. Physically, the main character himself is an ostensible 18 year old in the body of a middle schooler. Mentally, he's pretty insufferable- the things he says both to others and to himself make him come across as a self-centered leech draining everyone around him. Maybe that's intentional and he's supposed to improve as the game progresses; I don't know. But I can't really blame at least one of the characters from getting pissed off at him.

Another point is the dialogue. Points to the dev for it being largely grammatically sound and in readable English. However, several of the characters ramble on in ways that 1. don't seem like normal human speech patterns 2. feel very out of place context-wise and 3. convey no useful or interesting meaning. This isn't uniform- the high point is the MC's friend getting frustrated with his lazy doltishness, which feels pretty real, and the low point is his aunt giving essentially her whole life story apropos of nothing at all.

The result is that the game feels rather padded- for a 2.27 GB game, the meaningful scenes are very short and are followed by essentially a whole lot of cruft. Hold down the skip button after the first couple scenes and you'll miss out on very little of interest- and reach the end in a few seconds.

Excellent storytelling. Great renders. I see a lot of promise in this one. Mark has a hot sister who has a friend, eh? Stay close to Mark. So many ways this could go, with milfs and more. I will keep an eye on it.