VN Ren'Py I'm asking players to advise the developer about the slideshow in AVN.

[Midzay]

Guys, give some advice on the design of the novella. I often get several good renders for one screen. I can paste them into a screen and show them in a slideshow. Or I can show just one image and show the others separately, on a website. I think the slideshow is nice to show all the pictures at once but it can be distracting from reading the text and even infuriating. What do you think?

Video example here

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Got the distributions of the first chapter ready. You can download them here.

For screens 10 inches or more (easier to look at):
PC:

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Android:

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Mac:

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For screens 10 inches or less:
PC:

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Android:

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Mac:

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[osanaiko]

I volunteer as tribute... downloading.

...

Well!

That was very interesting. Strange, even a little hallucinatory... but I liked it.

The writing is unlike nearly every game I have played here. It is clear from the grammatical structure and idioms that the author is not a native speaker. However the grammar and spelling are close to perfect, better than even many natives. In some ways the dialogue and narrator gave an almost clinical feel, like a scientific experiment, which added to the psychedelic trip.

The story and situations are also interesting and unique - not the common, endlessly re-hashed tropes that are all too common.

The renders were in general excellent. I especially liked the attention to detail with the custom props and artwork. I see from your development thread that you have put a lot of effort into custom environments etc, and it definitely shows in this work - none of the very overused Daz locations or props in sight!

Regarding the "slide show" effect - I didn't like it. It would be better to show the text of each page gradually, where each click would reveal a new section/paragraph, and also show a new image. This would make it feel even more like the player was experiencing a journey through the story. With the current slideshow, there are loops which take the reader out of the immersive experience.

I believe your game would benefit from the help of a native speaker to advise the minor changes to sentence structure and use of native idioms that would transform this story into natural flowing English.

Thank you for sharing and I wish you great luck in your project.

 

[Midzay]

I volunteer as tribute... downloading.

1/ I read your post out loud so that my wife would take it seriously that I watch porn and create porn. She was happy for me. It's not a joke.
2/ I took your point about the slideshow and text editing. Thank you for your detailed reply..