I'm probably going to regret becoming active on this forum, but here goes. Mildly depressed creative person checking in...

Apr 19, 2019
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How's it going? I'm here because I believe in the future of adult gaming. I've been an enthusiast of pornographic games since I stumbled upon "True Love" on an "abandonware" site in the 90s, and since then I've dreamed of a world where adult games are taken as seriously as other games. I think gaming is a unique platform where sexual content can really shine, but I think the potential still remains potential. Unfulfilled despite decades of development.

I was bitten by the creative bug as a kid, and that's something that never goes away. Either you develop it and shine as an artist, or you don't and eventually die having never met your potential, filled with regret. This is why I chose "ApatheticCreative" as my name. The current path I'm on has me filled with apathy. I know I should be drawing and developing my talent. I should be creating and releasing what I create. Instead I'm indifferent. I waste my time until I have none left, then I go to bed knowing I didn't do what I should have. Repeat the next day. My very own Groundhog's Day style nightmare.

I do aspire to make adult games, but I haven't done much in that direction. The desire never leaves you though. About five years ago I was tired of my inaction and I joined on Itch.io. My goal, make something and release it. I don't know what was different about this particular effort, but through about two weeks of genuine, sustained effort I did exactly that and in September 2016 was born. (Under a different pseudonym at the time.)

Since then, nothing. To be honest I still want to make this stuff. I have ideas. I even had a few false starts that I later scrapped. It's like what I want to do and what I actually do are two completely different things. Alys was well received, especially considering it was my very first and only game development project. I don't touch that account anymore, but I still get notifications for people following the account. I have about 200 followers there now, and for 5 years I've disappointed them with nothing new.

Maybe someday soon I'll be creating and releasing stuff again. I don't need "motivation". I don't need "inspiration". I need to get to fucking work.
 
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