This is the epitome of the farming experience.
From procuring your livestock to training and breeding, it includes the tedium of it all as you go over the slow painful process with your long pigs of navigating through the horrible user interface like in life, enduring the constant setbacks from the bugs and glitches that will softlock the game and cause you to lose progress if you have not taken the long way to return to the starting point to frequently save the game.
The game itself is short, but the way you are forced to repeatedly see the transition animations of your meat being dragged from its cell to your training hands easily lengthens it to an over hour long torture.
Don't worry, all the "gore" in most of the game is entirely undo-able as the galaxy brain alien species has determined the best way to use nano-machines...is to reconstruct the bodies of your long pigs.
This is except for the DESTRUCTION option. As it suggests, it is an irreversible process of the Thanos selection experience, except instead of becoming ashes in the wind, you watch the acidic breakdown of your pig before it is summarized with a literal fart into space, which you can for some reason hear despite no one practically being able to hear you in space.
Did I also forget to mention, that the very same test tube used to treat your long pigs and dispose of them when you tire of the whole charade has perfect audio design? By that I mean it uses the actual sounds of a toilet in use and being flushed. The pile on of irony doesn't end.
Speaking of end, have you seen the endings? The true end of a farmer's life goes in the order of Red, Green, Blue just like the Mass Effect of the universe.
In Red, you fulfill the dream of your child, whom you have boned the crap out of and in return fulfills their dream to experience space. In Green, you complete the cycle of cheating as you have a menhara go down on your green BBC. And Blue. I said this is a true farmer's experience.
Nothing demonstrates the farm to table experience more than consuming the fruits of your labor. Especially when you get to watch the actual accurate process of meat being processed via the act of organ removal all the way to the face of the long pig advertising itself like putting a can of porky pig on the table as you slice into your bacon steak. The best part? This one doubles up as an after-dinner fleshlight.
Alas, this game has no actual ending. You get to stay in your sandbox farm for eternity after completing the training of your pigs. Unless you decide to give them the sweet release of destruction and remain alone in the same way of having no mouth, but you must scream.
Conclusion. This game is a thought provoking masterpiece that highlights the inconvenient truth behind the farming scene. Raw details laid out to bare are not for the infantile mind, as can be seen by various comments in the thread before this review. However, the game is an utter piece of shit in terms of accessibility, it's like not having any limbs and having to be manhandled around to get anything done, almost like you are the long pig in the grubby hand of the developer farm...
But hey, you don't have to torture yourself with what I had to. Just use my save file and get instant access to everything. Simply drop the file into the data folder and select the first save when you're in the game.
After all, there only needs to be a few farmers in the entire farming industry. The rest of you are just long pigs.
