Is that works out as wordplay?

[Vanie]

So, I'm making a text game in Twine, and I came up with unusual idea for the title but... there is a problem. You see, english is not my native language, and my title idea is somehow a wordplay - at least I really hope it is a wordplay, but hey, how could I be sure?

So I'm asking - it is a wordplay? Or are you could you call it a wordplay?

Here it is - flushed and blushed. Or: flushed or blushed.

So, from what i understand:
blush: to become pink in the face, usually from embarrassment.
flush: When you flush, you become red in the face, especially as a result of strong emotions, heat, or alcohol.

But, what is the most important in this case - you can also flushed something in the toilet. The 'flush' word have that meaning too.

So, let's imagine a situation: your bully, that you actually in love with, flushes your head in the toilet. And than, he looks at you and asks: 'Are you flushed or blushed?' but for real, there are both true for you, so your answer is: 'I'm both flushed and blushed'.

In this particular scenario I think it works out as a wordplay - good or bad, that is not important, but a wordplay. And because of the game story it also works perfectly as a title - something like: are you flushed, are you don't like what happening to you? Or maybe you are blushed and you like it? Or maybe both? And since the plot will be about having a bully that you love and hate the same time, I think it may be a clever title.

But only may be, because I hella don't know if this a wordplay afterall.

 

[desmosome]

Flushed or Blushed would be a great title for the story concept you laid out.

It's not really a saying that people actually use in their speech though. "Are you flushed or blushed!?" When used in the context you are thinking of, it sounds pretty awkward.

That said, it certainly would qualify as wordplay. This type of dialogue is hard to write for even native English speakers, and doubly so for non-native speakers. It's very easy to come off as try hard and cringey when you inject humor through puns and "witty banter."

My advice. Great title for your story, but don't try to constantly force the wordplay in the actual dialogue. Once or twice throughout the whole story would be enough, if you really must scratch that itch. People can pick up on the theme even if you don't literally say it out loud. And try to come up with a more natural way in which the characters would say some variation of it.

Bully: "Oh? Little MC is blushing?" "Did you like what I did to you?"

MC: "N-No! I'm flushed. You... You flushed my face in the toilet!"

Bully: "Why do you have a boner then?"

Something like this as opposed to,

'Are you flushed or blushed?' but for real, there are both true for you, so your answer is: 'I'm both flushed and blushed'.

 

[mazikdd]

As desmosome said it does qualify as wordplay but I think that you're trying to fit the square toy into the triangle hole so to speak. Flushed and Blushed as a title alone isn't really a play on words, it only kinda is in the context you gave. I think you imagined a scene with a dialog that you seem to like and you're trying to retroactively make it fit for your game's title, which is not a great idea cause you're just gonna give yourself some sort of tunnel vision.

Why not just call it Flushed, make your scene as you intended it, and then have the play on words during the scene. I don't see the necessity of both words being in the title since the bully could just say: "Are you blushing? Or just flushed?", it's relatively the same pun. I'm no writer but I'm sure there's better ways to make it work.

I'm sorry if what I said comes off as harsh, but I don't really like the title Flushed and/or Blushed in any scenario.

 

[Vanie]

Flushed or Blushed would be a great title for the story concept you laid out.

It's not really a saying that people actually use in their speech though. "Are you flushed or blushed!?" When used in the context you are thinking of, it sounds pretty awkward.

That said, it certainly would qualify as wordplay. This type of dialogue is hard to write for even native English speakers, and doubly so for non-native speakers. It's very easy to come off as try hard and cringey when you inject humor through puns and "witty banter."

My advice. Great title for your story, but don't try to constantly force the wordplay in the actual dialogue. Once or twice throughout the whole story would be enough, if you really must scratch that itch. People can pick up on the theme even if you don't literally say it out loud. And try to come up with a more natural way in which the characters would say some variation of it.

Bully: "Oh? Little MC is blushing?" "Did you like what I did to you?"

MC: "N-No! I'm flushed. You... You flushed my face in the toilet!"

Bully: "Why do you have a boner then?"

Something like this as opposed to,

Great advice. I don't know if i would really put 'Are you flushed or blushed' into the dialogue as it is now or not, because that was only example and i didn't write the scene yet. Boner could be hard tho since this is female protagonist.

 

[Vanie]

As desmosome said it does qualify as wordplay but I think that you're trying to fit the square toy into the triangle hole so to speak. Flushed and Blushed as a title alone isn't really a play on words, it only kinda is in the context you gave. I think you imagined a scene with a dialog that you seem to like and you're trying to retroactively make it fit for your game's title, which is not a great idea cause you're just gonna give yourself some sort of tunnel vision.

Why not just call it Flushed, make your scene as you intended it, and then have the play on words during the scene. I don't see the necessity of both words being in the title since the bully could just say: "Are you blushing? Or just flushed?", it's relatively the same pun. I'm no writer but I'm sure there's better ways to make it work.

I'm sorry if what I said comes off as harsh, but I don't really like the title Flushed and/or Blushed in any scenario.

'Flushed and Blushed' is just a work in progress title so this can be changed. However, honestly I personally like how it sounds and also: 'Flushed', 'Blushed', one of them alone could not work out as the title here, since I want the title to point out the MC dilemma about whether she likes or not what is happening to her. Is she find it pleasurable? Or maybe she hates it? That being said, the title could also be 'Hate and Love' (tho this is a little unoriginal) or 'Pain and Pleasure' or basically anything like that. I will try to come up with the best version. Also, i think titles is commonly something that dose not make any sense without knowing the plot. Whether it is games, books, TV shows or any else media. So, I think that finding out that the title is actually a wordplay while playing, without noticing it before, is more an good thing than issue. However I will think about it and thanks for honesty.

 

[mazikdd]

I suggest you look up "namesakes" or "title drops" in movies/TV and try to find references, it might help you get a new look on your issue. Don't forget "show not tell", your play on word might work just by showing the scene and let the audience figure it out by themselves. Either way I hope you make your vision come true and we'll get to see it here.

 

[MidnightArrow]

It may be wordplay, but it sounds very awkward and forced.

For starters, flushing somebody's head down a toilet is called a swirlie in America. I don't know if anybody would intuit "swirlie" from a title like that. And I do know for sure no American bully would be caught dead asking "Are you flushed or blushed?" in a million years.

If you can't come up with a pun for "swirlie", at least just call it "Flushed". It stands on its own as a pun.