VN - Ren'Py - It's a Bit Sudden, but Now I Have a Brown Elven Girlfriend [v0.03] [S3 Digital]

The renders are good...
Everything else is horrible, from the writing to the plot.
Is like reading a one shot hentai, and for that is faster to search an read one than playing this.
It's just drops you in the middle of a sex scene with barely written context and that's all...

The renders are good.

The writing is not about story. It's a bunch of pseudo-scientific text walls during lewd scenes about why she's designed for him.

It's mostly just a dude whining about his girlfriend leaving him because she got sick of waiting for him to make a move. And how good he is at screwing a sex crazed elf designed to take his dick specifically.

The whole time I was reading I just could not change my mind about this one thought: this game sounds like the prologue of an NTR game. If it is, you've got a good start I spose (not really into NTR myself). You spend so much time explaining how easy it is to get her motor running for anyone. I mean she went for it with this soft boy...and bottom line, she still trades sex for material goods...

That said, this reads like an elf themed doujin. Except someone is writing a book report about it and they need to meet a word count.

EDIT: I feel like I need to share a little more of what I think. Given how much words there are I feel like that time and energy could be used to set up scenes rather then tell the player that elf penis is small and the MC has had his house elf juice proofed. It's not coming across as humor...just incel fantasy really.

Hear me out. Instead of describing why she she squeezes so good you could have written a perfectly reasonable separate sex scene, mebbe the first one between them. I think her having to explain why she needs to wring this virgin dry to stay alive in his world could be funny.

I'm just saying it feels like so much wasted energy, Dev's got jokes, a great eye for camera angles and a hot elf...just gets a little too...clinical with exposition.

review for v0.01

short but comfy.
elf gf a cute, writing was funny, and cringe at times, but it's not something to take serious, so it's fine and does it job.
for a side project, made for the dev to practice things it's pretty decent.

I didn't want to leave such a negative review for an initial release, but someone has to address the elephant in the room.
The 'plot' of this is so immature and so hastily written; The game (as it plays now at v0.01) is five minutes of trite narrative, something you can't even really call exposition because it barely explains anything, and then a five minute overly idealistic sex scene between practical strangers, because we've barely been introduced to them.

I could perhaps forgive a fledgling game dev for something like this in their first attempt, hoping for feedback, but this developer has several other games completed. This is insulting.

I may come back far later to see how this has come, and at that point I may change or remove my review, but right now people should avoid this.