VN - Ren'Py - Journey: Rebirth [S1 Ep.1 U2] [Cheeky Capybara]

This is great. Not a AAA production, it does reuse some familiar assets, but its well written, has a interesting plot, and has a proper pace. Refreshing VN with all the junk out there. Very good amount of content for a first chapter as well.

It takes a lot of the "usual" components of AVNs and threw in its own touch. Decent amount of player choice so far, remains to be seen how it impacts the story rather than possible relationships.

I would just caution the dev on the number of characters introduced - there are quite a few in the first chapter. Too many characters inevitably leads to rushed or incomplete games that fizzle out.

Would highly suggest playing

I was a bit disappointed with this one. The basic story isn't exactly new but this isn't a new slant on it or a well written alternative. The writing is pretty average and the pace is slow. There's quality in places, such as when the characters interact round the table, with a light, easy conversation but the story overall is so flat and one paced. It may just be this VN and the dev's next project will be the one, as has been seen many times before. You can only learn by doing but this ones missing something. I also didn't find the MC very likable, as he's responsible for the situation he's in. He's a douchebag. His drinking allows him get robbed, he loses his job because he can't set an alarm and then he's gets evicted from his crappy apartment that he's too much of a slob to clean. It's nothing to do with the fact he's an orphan from a foster home. Times aren't hard for him, he's just lazy with bad habits. He looks like a complete tool with his long hair, tats, jewellery and bolo. It then seems ridiculous that he 'lucks out' with an inheritance in this story. However will it be a good or a bad thing in the end? Or will justice be done or will he change? Unfortunately, it's just so hard to read and get immersed in the story to find out when you just can't relate to the character. I have rounded up a star (from 2 to 3) to try to balance this out as other readers may not have this problem and I wasn't sure where to give this 2 or 3 stars anyway.

On the good side, I'm pleased you don't have to take the inheritance if you don't want to, leading to an alternative ending. Why is this so hard for so many dev's to do? It so simple yet keeps the reader in control, making sure that choices matter, without being forced into choices that aren't really choices. Well done Capybara. Also you turn down your ex. I'm surprised this wasn't a choice but it was nice to see a no here, as again so many dev's would have forced a yes to put in an easy, early scene. The LI choice is quite realistic some are terrible, some average and some are beautiful. Usually in a VN it's one or another, ugly or beautiful as group but here there's variety which is refreshing. It makes it easier to make a choice of who you really like. If you have too many LI's, sometimes you feel the background story doesn't progress, as you have too many repetitive LI scenes to get through before the story moves on. It becomes just a series of scenes put together rather than a cohesive narrative.

Overall, although the dev has some obvious skills, they aren't fully utilised here, making this is all just a bit forgettable. This one's been done better before.

Great start. Light fun with some teases and a simple yet effective introduction to the story. I like how the dev made some pretty big changes, especially to the characters, with respect to people's feedback. A dev that listens to its players is certainly a good one to follow. May change opinion depending on how future sex scenes play out, but so far so good.

JOURNEY: Rebirth [S1 Ep.1 v1]

For a first episode it is good and deserves some encouragement: 4/5

I like the story, I am a sucker for rags to riches type of story, story immersion was good until some things that broke it, listed below on things you need to improve.

Now let's talk about the things that need to improve:

- do something with the head / face of 35 ? yo ukrainian model, I understand you wanted to be unique, but that was uncanny valley material, it was just creepy in most scenes, to be honest she looked like Giga Chad meme
- Jazzy face expression, during the phone call scene when she turned the head and the eyes squinted it looked like you wanted to develop a horror themed game.
- The coffee shop girl date, look all good, until that dinner, where you order some expensive wine and food, LA is not cheap ) who paid for that dinner as MC was broke and she also was broke, at least with the clothes we know someone paid for it.

Keep up the good work and try to improve. Don't be desperate to make sex scenes, casual hookups are good in early chapters, so the clothes shop girl was a good idea, to be honest in my humble opinion she should have lost control wanted to stick it in but got interrupted by Chris? Chad ? The guy that hit you in the coffee shop, that would have demanded for some unfinished business that she wanted to finish later if you know what I mean.


Now for some speculations hidden in a spoiler:

It's nice to see that good Ren'Py productions appear. This has the potential to be an absolute banger of a game. I really hope it will be continued, and that we will end up using all of our roommates holes.

- Graphics are above average, not spectacular, but quite decent
- UI is decent. Except for the buzz sound on the Main Menu, that was horrible
- Models vary in quality. Some are astounding, some are passable, some need work (I could say more, but I don't want to)
- Writing wise, it's quite above the norm around here, to the point that it became invisible (this is the best that writing can aim to, to be so good that you even forget it)
- Story wise, well, this is where there are some problems. There's a pervasive sense of dejá vu everywhere. If you've played several games here, you've already played this story a few times. The details may be somewhat fresh, but, we've all seen these archetypes. At some points the plot holes are a bit too glaring, example:
-----------> The Robbery - The MC has been robbed 4 times before, yet, he hasn't learned the obvious tricks that everyone with a ounce of sense would do, like separate the money from cards and documents, like not carry ALL his money together, like don't waste money on a wallet, an office clip is enough to keep a few bills together, coins can be stored separately. When forced to give money, always give the least possible amount, that you keep on the obvious place. The robber may ask for more, offer the coins... Maybe he gives up, maybe he doesn't... But, this MC, after being robbed 4 times, still gives everything? Nope... doesn't add up.
- The story then goes into the expected routes. This goes into some serious issues... The MC doesn't have money to buy a pair of swim shorts, accepts the gift of a shirt and pants, doesn't get swim shorts. Next day goes out to diner with a girl in a bistro in Beverly Hills, no worries about money, uh? I would expect him to not have money even for a coffee...

While it was entertaining and the eye candy was plenty and good, the story needs a serious upgrade by someone that has an eye for continuity and hopefully is able to have less stereotypical nonsense.

My opinion is: It isn't bad, but, could be a LOT better. Needs a decent re-write.
Score: 2,5out of 5 (Shared has a Review with 3*, because a 2* is too unfair)

JOURNEY: Rebirth [S1 Ep.1 v1]

Pros:
+ Great writing so far. Not too wordy and not monotonous, well structured
+ Interesting start to a story and good introduction of cast
+ Main character is not just an empty, blank slate
+ UI is clean and effective
+ Character models are mostly all attractive
+ Music fits well with the game
+ Renders are beautiful
+ Kira is hot (personal bias)

Cons:
- Not very much content yet, but expected of an initial release
- Lacking a back button or traditional quick menu

There's not much I can say besides the fact that I've enjoyed the initial release of this game. I'll keep it short and simple.

It's not too long and not too short, just the perfect length for anyone to check out with an hour or two of time to spare. Check it out if you have some time, this one feels like it has great potential!

Overall Rating: 10/10

S1 Ep1 V1?
how many versions of season 1 episode 1 will there be?
how many season 1 episode 2 versions will there be?
how many seasons will there be? how many episodes per season?
looks like it will be a very long process from this end of the spectrum.

pedantic mode on..

i wasn't gonna do it but i am gonna do it. HALLEFUCKINGLUJAH
a developer has constructed a render, for night time, that is not unseeable. why spend time setting up an image and then making it so dark it looks like a picture of a black cat at midnight in the middle of a cave a mile underground? this dev could not see the senselessness of it either and punted for making images we CAN see instead. score 1 for this dev.

pedantic mode off..

plot aside, the writing and dialogue is very well delivered, very natural. the only downside is that it is not actually delivering anything beyond a dull plot. so far there is no hook at all in the writing and it leans very heavily into imagery as a selling point, which really is a waste of what seems to me as this devs strongest ability.
a man dies in a car crash (this is the entire written hook) and you get to meet a few girls. nothing else happens, certainly nothing even hints towards episodes let alone seasons. where is the excitement? what is happening to draw me in and get my pulse racing? it's like we jumped past episode one's hammer blow and jumped straight into episode 4-6 when everything has hit slomo and we get background and plot puff before we swing back to closing out the season on a high note in hopes of some exec giving a thumbs up for season two and beyond.

there is a good amount of developer talent on display but there is a real lack of story to work from. my uncertainty at the version system encapsulates my feelings about this game.
for me, it blew the opening and i will not be that exec as there was nothing for me to return for.

Well....What can I say? It did not completely suck at least. If you like blowjobs then you will love this one as it is right now. But if you want more well it just aint here.

Story wise.....There is one.....kind of. You got an inheritance from a stranger. There now you know just as much as everyone who played up until now. Seriously. Nobody knows shit about shit or gives a damn about telling you shit in this game. At this point.

Like dick tease with no damn please? Good. You will love the shit out of this.

Look, Dev., I am sure you or someone you hire will see your reviews as they usually do, can we at least have a few pussies in this one with hair on them. I am so damn sick of wandering in the desert and just sometimes enjoy having a nice forest and absolutely love an occasional jungle tossed in. It is like in real life. Variety Pack!

Oh and for Gods sake, when there is a real sex scene with real actual penetration, make sure it is longer than just a few seconds, looks good, and is decently animated. Fast way to get bad reviews on here is to skimp on your sex scenes. As long as they are great no one will bitch about having to wait for one. Your girls all look great. Why waste that with piss poor performances. Just saying.

So far there is not a lot here to judge by. Knocked 2 points. One for a story where I know just as much about it now as I did before I even played and just read the lead in before downloading. The other is for having no real sex yet. Both are fixable quite easily. I do make edits where edits are warranted in the future. I will check back and see what is new later.

VERSION: S1 Ep.1 v1
SUMMARY: Not bad really, does most things relatively well.
RATINGS: (out of 5): ⭐⭐⭐⭐

NOTE: The following categories and scoring method are my own criteria and may require more context. Additionally, scoring is based on the state, and what is in the current version and not what may or may not be introduced at a later point.

1. Character (Model) Visuals......... : ⭐⭐⭐⭐
2. General (World) Visuals........... : ⭐⭐⭐⭐
3. Animation Quality................. : ⭐⭐⭐⭐
4. Character Personality(Persona).... : ⭐⭐⭐
5. Story & Dialogue.................. : ⭐⭐⭐
6. Writing & Grammar................. : ⭐⭐⭐⭐
7. UX/UI, Game Type & Mechanics.......: ⭐⭐⭐
8. Playtime & Pacing..................: ⭐⭐⭐
9. Music & Sounds.....................: ⭐⭐⭐
10. Adult Content & Fetishes.......... : ⭐⭐⭐

Average: 34 of 50 possible points giving a 68% rating i.e. 3-4 stars.

PROS: - See my opinions section for details.

1. Renders are generally good all round.
2. Small movement animations during scenes are a nice touch.
3. General animations in lewd-scenes are actually pretty decent.
4. Music is not bad and sound some effects are pretty decent.
5. Writing is good, reads and is structured well enough.
6. Simple enough plot, done many times, but plays out pretty even keel without erratic events popping up.

CONS: - See my opinions section for details.

1. MC model looks like some surfer/scater/punk with hair from 70/80s like he could have been part of angry BeeGees I really don't like the boy toy look, long hair and/or no scruff on the face?
2. Dialogue has moments which make me think WTF, like the MC who looks like he is at most 20, sits at the bar, feeling all sorry for himself, say he has had a long life...<-- WTF
3. Added to dialogue, the writer tries to create a narrative or scene, but fails to get it right visually like the lighting, again, in a scene the MC is being held at knife point by a thug, the narrative says the thugs face is hidden in shadow, but its little up like a Xmas tree!
4. Auto forward button missing from interface, some review would be nice.
5. Lighting and scene detail, MC steps outside of the bar, talks about how people are sleeping and while it does seem partially dark, the world is still lit up like a huge flashlight is over half the street...?

OPINIONS, SUGGESTIONS & FINAL REMARKS:

NOTE: The following remarks are my personal opinions and thoughts, which may provide more context and could be useful to the developer. (Read them or don't)

• Such a stupid comments like the MC at the bar... I mean for a snot nose to make such a statement and the scene itself, its hard to sympathize when he is a kid still and has no clue about life, acting like he has lived for centuries. Creating some sense of loss, sadness, depth or intrigue if that was what the dev was going for will not work like this. Give the MC more context as to his state of mind else you just talking shit and everyone on this site is practically feeling hard-done-by, I mean we here playing AVNs
• Another scene where the MC can fight a thug, but instead gets tapped on the jaw, yet the MC still stands around and gives his wallet over looking more embarrassed than angry. He doesn't run, doesn't continue fighting, throw dirt, spit, scream for help nothing...the scenario is just too fake to take seriously as it is with a few other. What further and probably mostly compounds how bad this is, is the fact that the MC is so down on his luck yet he gives away his last dollar with no fight...doesn't seem that desperate then does it?
• While some comments are obviously my person nit pick, the overall AVN is good, the first few scenes were rough for me though but it ended up being fairly decent all round.

TLDR:

This is not a horrible AVN its not really 4 stars, more 3.5 but I will give it the benefit of the doubt here and give it 4 instead of 3. The first few scenes did throw me a bit, it didnt feel consistent, but from the LA part of the story there is more cohesion and the story starts to flow, scenes are done better and play out to more completion (if you can call it that) I personally dont like the MCs look, he looks like a boy with long hair and no facial hair yet something about him looks like a gangster, but he is soft and smooth, with no scars and yet lived a hard life...Quality is generally pretty decent, I will probably keep at it, also depends on what kinks come out the wood works.