After almost 2 years of complaints, tantrums, drama, murder, love, death, life, a civil war and even at one point mods stepping in, on the cursed month of October 2021 someone finally uploaded the "Full Version" of Love Cumedy .
After all these events where you would think the end of the world was around the corner, and that Love Cumedy is the most elusive thing since finding the cure to 7 kinds of cancer, this game ended up being a complete joke of a game.
Basically, to sum it up, Love Cumedy is what happens when like many other Patreon games, the developer exposes the Unity Engines "Editor" a la Garry's Mod style to the User and tries to use "Physics" to do all the work for them, without trying to even close the gap between these things.
Lets start off with the basics.
The UI is atrocious, since most of it is CONTEXT based, meaning if you want to play an animation or change music, you have to be near the trigger point. While it might make sense in game that is...a real game, it doesn't for Porn. Hold on to this point, because this relates to everything else as well, unlike this game, where you can't hold anything.
You can customize 2 characters, your avatar in to Male/Futa but with a dick, of course, can't slap clams. You can also customize the NPC, but only to Female and things related to female stuff. You have a few body basic options. However, that where it ends.
The body options aren't even well crafted, mostly related to expanding horizontally something. Wide hips, small hips, wide shoulders, small shoulders, wide head, small head, and most of the time the body parts looks like an Event Horizon happened on how "compressed" from the sides they look.
The Player character can't be dressed up, and while they body looks as soft as a babies bum, their penis is the most heinously veiny thing I have ever seen. It's like the veins have veins, and oh, here's the kicker, the penis is essentially just "glued" to the pelvis of the model, it doesn't look like it belongs to the body, and no, you can't even make it look like a decent strapon.
You cannot customize Hair or Clothes of the Player for...some reason. You're always butt naked, with a ponytail and some sun glasses, I guess 2 Cool 4 School is a thing now for the Porn industry, unlike the characters in this game, which look like the only glory days they're capturing back are the holes.
The NPC has almost the same options, but with the added "Clothes" and "Hair" section, but there is one issue...well, more like everything is an issue.
You have a couple of Hair types and Clothes types, then about 87% of the remainder of the Hair and Clothes are literally color swaps.
The worst part? You can't change the COLOR itself with a Color Palette or Editor, but instead have to select each different clothing color as it's own clothing.
This means if you are wearing red socks, you have to change your socks to black instead of being able to color them whatever you want.
Why is this a problem? Because some clothes have Details on them while others don't, and some of them aren't the same color coordination.
Needless to say, for a developer to expose the "User Editor" as a "Game", it's absolutely mind boggling how greedy it is for them to literally be "Patreoning" textures instead of doing the proper thing and exposing the Material Editor as well. Same thing with the hair, talk about penny pinching.
Needless to say, the clothes are bare minimum, hell, I'm not even sure those assets are legit, because many of them look like Sims 4 assets, because a little note here: Almost all of the clothes are opaque skin tight bra, stockings and panties, with the occasional Nier 2B face cover, or Sims 4 sexy heart choker kind of thing, so again, I don't even think these are even paid for assets or legit gotten, then again, selling Unity Editor AS THE GAME, isn't legit either.
So what about the sex you might say? Well...
In order to start sexy times with someone, you have to play an animation, part of the routine, as is in most games. To do this, you select a place and do it, again standard.
What isn't standard is that you have to press M to tell your NPC to go to a certain location, like a sofa, and then you tell them to do the "Sexy". Instead of teleporting to sexy time, you have to SLOWLY walk to the location, cause your large penis is sucking all the blood from the rest of your body to run, and if you accidentally pressed the Camera Rotate Key, you will see a whole bunch of Context actions that don't work unless you press another key, that also does the same thing as...pressing the Button on the screen that tells you to do something, why is double layering, I don't onion.
Each location have 1 animation tops, maybe 2 if you're lucky, with an "Animation Saved Folder", if those 3 words made you gasp, it's because it is what it says.
The developer expects people to MAKE THEIR OWN ANIMATIONS, like TK17, Garry's Mod, SFM, Blender or Illusion Games, but unlike those softwares, the CONTROLS DON'T MAKE SENSE.
Let this sink in for a moment, the control are so BAD in the game, the DEVELOPER themselves DON'T want to MAKE ANIMATIONS with it.
The worse part, is that to start a sexy time, you have to LOWER YOUR PELVIS INTO THE VAGINA or MOUTH LIKE A FORKLIFT. I have never seen such a messy, pointless, confabulated system to start something.
Once you finally position your throbbing off-colored penis inside THE VAGINA or MOUTH, good luck keeping it there, because unlike the developer who never had sex, pensis the length of viking ships don't simply POP OUT OF A VAGINA.
But the even worserer is coming, just like my stroke.
In order to position the characters, you can grab them with a magic hand and move them around, the problem is, the characters "Original Location" is how they move around and is always being used. So if you pull an arm for too much, and salute the 3rd Reich, you will have a floating character just without a SS Uniform. So in order to avoid this, you have to "LOCK" a charters "Animation Points", or UNLOCK them to do whatever you want.
Problem is, this such a cheap way of switching between IK and Non-IK Bone/Animation setup with Bone Locks. It's literally a code system enabled/disabled in Unity, and it's being sold as a features.
Not only that, but in order to actually have the animations function, you need to then position the different body parts, and have them LOCK or UNLOCK in different positions properly, and how to do that? Well, you grab for example a hand, and LOCK it to the breast, so the hand moves with breast, but then you need to contort the rest of the body with the LOCK and UNLOCK system to make it look good, or else you start having all kinds of snapping and character poking through each other, because the animation system doesn't have have bone collisions?
Why is this bad?
Bone collisions Snaps helps reduce these problems, like instead of legs poking through each other, they snap "around" the legs and you can gradually fix it.
But because the developer literally just exposed the default Unity animation system as a features, you have a complete messy...thing, that almost never looks good nor is functions correctly from a Users endpoint, not to mention the constant juggling of hotkeys without feedback.
That right, the UI DOESN'T SAY IF WHICH PART IS LOCKED OR UNLOCKED, oh, did I mention pressing Shift lets your move your Bones Up and Down, otherwise it's impossible to position them correctly in a scene? Seriously, not even the 3D Softwares, let alone Unity engine, has this function, it's like the developer couldn't figure out Camera Orbits and Cartesian Movement, so they just slapped in a Modifier on object Vertical and Horizontal movement? It's impressive the only ORIGINAL part of the code actually somehow made things worse.
If this "Review" is too long, it's literally isn't, because it's only a portion of what I can write just on how lazy this products is.
Basically, a Unity Engine game, which has it's Editor as the main game, with every single Function lazily exposed and covered behind "Modifier" keys so there's a semblance of work, with what looks like to be Sims 4 stolen assets.
