anongamer1983
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- Sep 24, 2024
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To be fair, "Second only in horror to" implies that it's worse in every way except "in horror". Child abuse certainly is a bigger "horror" than an adult whoring themselves out or doing drugs. Maybe Lacey is lying, but I think she's being honest. I think she does consider those 4 years the worst thing that's ever happened to her. Maybe she didn't feel that way while they were happening, but similar to how addicts don't always hate it in the moment, I think later she looks back at it and hates it/feels disgusted with herself.Look, this is what Lacey says to MC when he's at the cliffs and Anna manages to get in contact with Lacey:
L "But something happened today."
L "Something that helped wake me up from the delirium I've been in."
L "And apparently it needed to happen today,"
L "so that I could talk to you right now."
This is what Lacey says when explaining the tears in the Isaac pics:
L "The second reason for tears was because I had achieved what I thought was impossible."
L "I had disassociated intimacy from my abuse."
L "I could be intimate and not think of my father."
L "All I could think of in that last picture was I could finally come home to you."
L "Later that day Anna called me about your suicide attempt."
L "I realized I hadn't looked at my phone in over two weeks."
L "So, I never saw your desperate texts until it was too late."
L "I still haven't forgiven myself for not being there for you."
L "The reason I had to hang up was because I was going through ketamine and alcohol withdrawal."
L "I was throwing up or dry heaving every ten minutes or so."
L "That time in my life is second only in horror to when I was actually being abused."
L "The difference is that I was the one abusing myself."
So the events are concurrent Anna's call + Pain realization.
Granted the line about being second only in horror compared to what she was being abused is in contrast with the line:
L "Because living for four years without you was... the worst thing that's ever happened to me."
MC "Well, besides the abuse of course."
L "That isn't what I said."
L "I said, it was the worst thing that has ever happened to me."
You see Lacey dear, you should never lie or be ambiguos with people with good memory.
As soon as I saw that in act 2 my ears started ringing and I went to check if I was being wrong or not, not surprisingly, I was right.
I think at some point, very early, she stopped experimenting for the sake of MC and just went to the please the Pimp + experiment for the sake of it.
She would also recount what she liked and not liked to her Pimp, not in terms of linking to abuse or not.
Actually, I think she enjoyed the second time she had sex quite a bit, to the point where she said: well why not?
Knowing that she was hurting MC but also choosing her instant gratification.
This is half speculation half canon btw, Lacey always refuses to answer to these questions with cop outs like: I don't have an answer to that, I did what I did because I did it.
Which is obviously bullcrap, when I think about my past I know exactly why I did what I did and probably why she did what she did, which are pretty similar imo:
I was stupid, selfish, always looking for instant gratification, chasing stupid thrills, I simply did not care who I was hurting, feeling good for a minute or an hour or a night was more important than whatever happiness I could ever have in the long run, fucking was more important to me than respecting someone that loved me (and I did love back, but I don't get to say that anymore).
See? it is that simple, take accountability and realize that some stuff you've done will forever burn some bridges, no matter what you do.
Thanks, it is pretty rough but I am glad people find it useful, I am already at work on ACT2, luckily Act2 is shorter and has a pretty defined timeline so it will also be easier to compile and write.
At some point I would like to go back and timeline Act 1 as well, but that is a bit more work than I expected, time skips are abundant.
As being ready for tomorrow morning...I can only say: maybe
The day after tomorrow might be a more reasonable timeline.
If I had to guess, I think the reason she considers it "the worst" is because she now fully recognizes and sees how bad it hurt MC, not just herself.