Holy shit this is a motherfucking masterpiece. Definitely top 4 on the website, only because I don't like comparing favorites, there are few diamonds in the pile of garbage as it is. I'm telling you, download and play this. Really. Don't look at the ad, don't look at the other reviewers, download this, now.
Gotta warn yall, on the spectrum of porn games this is 95% game 5% porn. It's about as much of a porn game as Mass Effect is (alright, maybe a little more than Mass Effect). I didn't manage to jerk off to it at all. Doesn't matter. It's still incredible, better than Mass Effect for sure.
The weakest spot is probably graphics, but hey, I don't particularly care about those, one of the 4 top games for me is a text-based one.
The writing is absolutely incredible. The author ought to be a professional writer, I mean if he isn't he could make millions. Really. It's that good. The only reason I'm not praising him more is because I don't want him to leave the game behind. This is a porn game with a great plot (admittedly it is a hero's journey, but that's not a bad thing). great themes, and goddamn metanarratives (and not done in the way most English majors do it when they learn what a "metanarrative" is, they don't strike you in the eyes and scream at you "LOOK AT ME I'M HERE"). And if I know anything about those things, it's that they are as prevalent in porn games as unicorns in Antarctica.
I will put it this way. This game WILL get you thinking, Playing this game may even open your eyes on the world in ways you didn't consider before. It may even change your mind on some real-world things. This is a powerful game. This is a game that will entertain your mind, this is a game with substance.
The gameplay complements the message of the narrative and is entertaining on its own. You play this weird bastardization of a poker game, although I'd much rather compare it to Go than to poker. Though simple on the surface, it has a surprising amount of depth to it. And it really does tie into the narrative, and is a part of what ties the narrative into the metanarrative. But if you don't like it, it's pretty much skippable. The general sandboxy clickthrough "gameplay" is decent, you ain't getting any awards here, you only notice it when it sucks, but here it's pretty decent. VN mechanics may be unconventional for people used to the forgiving nature of RenPy, but nothing too serious.
The characters are also AWESOME. I love each and every one of them, I hate those I'm supposed to hate, and I feel conflicted for the ones I should feel conflicted about. This is the first time that a porn game has actually made me feel guilty for making a harem. Like, kind of real guilty. And that really ties well into the narrative.
Sure, there are a few flaws, like the music that is just a little annoying sometimes (pro tip for the author: game music is specifically written such as to not be distracting for the player and to instead help them concentrate on the game. For good examples, look at Portal 2 and Runescape), the grind for money gets a little repetitive after a while, but nothing too bad, especially if like me you find it fun to go down and do some gameplay.
The only thing that I would really complain about, and even go as far as call terrible, is the game page. The presentation. The ad. It really undersells and misrepresents the game. The way it talks about it makes the game seem like something more like Poker Night by Telltale but with cute girls. Yknow, playing cards with cute girls, some of them you might fall in love with, at a casino in Edinburgh, and you learn magic along the way, which probably helps everyone cheat at poker somehow, and your destiny will be with one of the girls. Maybe there'd be an enemy you'd have to defeat in a game of poker, like Le Chiffre in Casino Royale.
Now, this is not what I'd call a terrible idea, and it could have worked. But what this game is actually about is you being destined to become the most powerful being in the Universe, with powers to dwarf Thanos, an offspring of Satan himself, but friendly Satan this time, with a destiny 1500 years in the making, with a hot temper and a desire to rip and tear that Doomguy would envy, creating a team of your loyal followers (and lovers), each of whom are incredibly powerful beings in their own right, gathering all the forces of the living across all planes of existance, gathering strength and wisdom to fight the Undead horde in a battle of beyond biblical proportions, where a full-on God is but a nuisance in the grand scheme of things. The ending that Game of Thrones deserved to have gotten, except infinity times more epic.
With all of this in mind, how damn hard would it have been to, yknow, make the description, pictures, and trailer just a tiny, tiiiiiiny bit more representative of what the game is actually about? Maybe, yknow, make the banners more epic and metal, with fire and ice and something like that, maybe put the girls into their actual battle uniforms instead of casual dress, put MC there to lead the girls, in his final form, wielding his cards like Gambit from X-Men if you really wanna put cards into there that much, put an antagonist in there, or just a poor soul that is scary enough to become one, for MC and his group to oppose, and maybe make the description along the lines of "you are the Chosen One, a war is brewing, a war unlike anything you've seen before, it is time to get ready", just, SOMETHING. Not this vanilla calm blue bullshit.
Basically, author, you seen ads for Doom? Your game is more epic. The proportions are bigger. Make notes.
Don't let any of this bashing of the ad distract you from the qualities of the game itself. The bashing is more for the author to make mental notes, because I'm sure it could be fixed. The game itself is a masterpiece, I'm telling ya. Also, what are you still doing here, reading this review? Get back to the "description" tab and download the fucking game. Now. It's good. You won't regret it. Now go.
Gotta warn yall, on the spectrum of porn games this is 95% game 5% porn. It's about as much of a porn game as Mass Effect is (alright, maybe a little more than Mass Effect). I didn't manage to jerk off to it at all. Doesn't matter. It's still incredible, better than Mass Effect for sure.
The weakest spot is probably graphics, but hey, I don't particularly care about those, one of the 4 top games for me is a text-based one.
The writing is absolutely incredible. The author ought to be a professional writer, I mean if he isn't he could make millions. Really. It's that good. The only reason I'm not praising him more is because I don't want him to leave the game behind. This is a porn game with a great plot (admittedly it is a hero's journey, but that's not a bad thing). great themes, and goddamn metanarratives (and not done in the way most English majors do it when they learn what a "metanarrative" is, they don't strike you in the eyes and scream at you "LOOK AT ME I'M HERE"). And if I know anything about those things, it's that they are as prevalent in porn games as unicorns in Antarctica.
I will put it this way. This game WILL get you thinking, Playing this game may even open your eyes on the world in ways you didn't consider before. It may even change your mind on some real-world things. This is a powerful game. This is a game that will entertain your mind, this is a game with substance.
The gameplay complements the message of the narrative and is entertaining on its own. You play this weird bastardization of a poker game, although I'd much rather compare it to Go than to poker. Though simple on the surface, it has a surprising amount of depth to it. And it really does tie into the narrative, and is a part of what ties the narrative into the metanarrative. But if you don't like it, it's pretty much skippable. The general sandboxy clickthrough "gameplay" is decent, you ain't getting any awards here, you only notice it when it sucks, but here it's pretty decent. VN mechanics may be unconventional for people used to the forgiving nature of RenPy, but nothing too serious.
The characters are also AWESOME. I love each and every one of them, I hate those I'm supposed to hate, and I feel conflicted for the ones I should feel conflicted about. This is the first time that a porn game has actually made me feel guilty for making a harem. Like, kind of real guilty. And that really ties well into the narrative.
Sure, there are a few flaws, like the music that is just a little annoying sometimes (pro tip for the author: game music is specifically written such as to not be distracting for the player and to instead help them concentrate on the game. For good examples, look at Portal 2 and Runescape), the grind for money gets a little repetitive after a while, but nothing too bad, especially if like me you find it fun to go down and do some gameplay.
The only thing that I would really complain about, and even go as far as call terrible, is the game page. The presentation. The ad. It really undersells and misrepresents the game. The way it talks about it makes the game seem like something more like Poker Night by Telltale but with cute girls. Yknow, playing cards with cute girls, some of them you might fall in love with, at a casino in Edinburgh, and you learn magic along the way, which probably helps everyone cheat at poker somehow, and your destiny will be with one of the girls. Maybe there'd be an enemy you'd have to defeat in a game of poker, like Le Chiffre in Casino Royale.
Now, this is not what I'd call a terrible idea, and it could have worked. But what this game is actually about is you being destined to become the most powerful being in the Universe, with powers to dwarf Thanos, an offspring of Satan himself, but friendly Satan this time, with a destiny 1500 years in the making, with a hot temper and a desire to rip and tear that Doomguy would envy, creating a team of your loyal followers (and lovers), each of whom are incredibly powerful beings in their own right, gathering all the forces of the living across all planes of existance, gathering strength and wisdom to fight the Undead horde in a battle of beyond biblical proportions, where a full-on God is but a nuisance in the grand scheme of things. The ending that Game of Thrones deserved to have gotten, except infinity times more epic.
With all of this in mind, how damn hard would it have been to, yknow, make the description, pictures, and trailer just a tiny, tiiiiiiny bit more representative of what the game is actually about? Maybe, yknow, make the banners more epic and metal, with fire and ice and something like that, maybe put the girls into their actual battle uniforms instead of casual dress, put MC there to lead the girls, in his final form, wielding his cards like Gambit from X-Men if you really wanna put cards into there that much, put an antagonist in there, or just a poor soul that is scary enough to become one, for MC and his group to oppose, and maybe make the description along the lines of "you are the Chosen One, a war is brewing, a war unlike anything you've seen before, it is time to get ready", just, SOMETHING. Not this vanilla calm blue bullshit.
Basically, author, you seen ads for Doom? Your game is more epic. The proportions are bigger. Make notes.
Don't let any of this bashing of the ad distract you from the qualities of the game itself. The bashing is more for the author to make mental notes, because I'm sure it could be fixed. The game itself is a masterpiece, I'm telling ya. Also, what are you still doing here, reading this review? Get back to the "description" tab and download the fucking game. Now. It's good. You won't regret it. Now go.
