Version reviewed: v1.2
tl;dr - This game is stupidly easy and incredibly short, and that's your problem, actually. Go fuck yourself.
I'm going to be completely and one hundred percent honest with you: This review is motivated purely by spite. Nothing else.
This game is playable. It has systems. The animations exist. There is a plot to progress.
If those count as compliments, then that's all the nice things I have to say about it. And BECAUSE the game functions, I can't give it a one star. So, two it is.
The ending left such a sour taste in my mouth it's unreal.
It felt so much like the dev just raised a giant middle finger at me and said "Fuck you, you're stupid and blind and also a giant moron, go replay the entire game again. Dumbass." Those weren't the words used, obviously, but it felt like that was what the dev REALLY wanted to say.
Maybe it's my fault. Maybe I am a moron. The "hiding spots" for the secrets were really obvious, after all. But even still, it's not like I can deny what happened. Nor can I deny what I feel. Though I might be getting off topic, so let me continue with the actual review.
Are the animations good? Maybe. I couldn't say one way or the other. I couldn't even bring myself to look at them, because all I wanted was to get this game off my PC. I speedran the game through a second time to get the SINGLE secret that I missed and I didn't feel accomplished at the end whatsoever. As I saw the good ending play out, I just felt empty.
"But TheeSonus," you may ask. "Didn't you see any of the animations during gameplay? Surely you must have with how this game is designed!"
And that's a valid question, but one I have to answer with "No, I didn't."
Because this game is so piss easy that I never got caught even a single time in EITHER of my playthroughs. Hell, for most of my first playthrough, I nearly didn't even see any enemies in the first place. They just decided to take the day off or something, and I only ever got one or two spawns. So, no. I didn't see any of the animations. Or if you want to be pedantic, I saw the intros to... what, three animations maybe? And only because they were forced by the story? Fuck if I remember. Either way, still not enough for me to say anything on.
I found myself left with nothing but a cold, empty heart and a cold, soft ween. Something few other games have ever managed to do to me. From a game that, on the surface, looked like it should've appealed to my kinks... I don't think there's ANY in recent memory that have managed to do the same. The animations were the furthest thing from my mind at the end. All I could think about was right-clicking the folder I had the game in and hitting "Delete". I know I said it already, but it bears repeating. Even now, as I write this review, all I can feel is a deep profound sadness for all the time I wasted playing this.
Maybe I'll regret writing this review later. Maybe I won't. Maybe I'll be viewed as a whiny little baby making a mountain out of a molehill. Maybe I won't. Maybe this rating will get reported and deleted for breaking one of the review rules. Maybe it won't. I don't know. What I do know is that I will remember this game, even if I would much rather not.
So hey, y'know, at least it's memorable. That's all a dev can really ask for, right? Maybe it's only memorable because it had such a shitty ending and nothing else stuck out, but hey, still memorable!
I wanted to like this. I feel like I should've liked it. But what happened happened, and I don't like it. If I had known I would be left feeling like this, I never would've bothered with it in the first place.
I can only hope the dev's next game, if they make one, will be better than this. Despite the negative tone to this whole review, I still don't want the potential I see be wasted by stopping here. I just... want to actually see that potential be reached. A goal that was so thoroughly missed here.
tl;dr - This game is stupidly easy and incredibly short, and that's your problem, actually. Go fuck yourself.
I'm going to be completely and one hundred percent honest with you: This review is motivated purely by spite. Nothing else.
This game is playable. It has systems. The animations exist. There is a plot to progress.
If those count as compliments, then that's all the nice things I have to say about it. And BECAUSE the game functions, I can't give it a one star. So, two it is.
The ending left such a sour taste in my mouth it's unreal.
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Maybe it's my fault. Maybe I am a moron. The "hiding spots" for the secrets were really obvious, after all. But even still, it's not like I can deny what happened. Nor can I deny what I feel. Though I might be getting off topic, so let me continue with the actual review.
Are the animations good? Maybe. I couldn't say one way or the other. I couldn't even bring myself to look at them, because all I wanted was to get this game off my PC. I speedran the game through a second time to get the SINGLE secret that I missed and I didn't feel accomplished at the end whatsoever. As I saw the good ending play out, I just felt empty.
"But TheeSonus," you may ask. "Didn't you see any of the animations during gameplay? Surely you must have with how this game is designed!"
And that's a valid question, but one I have to answer with "No, I didn't."
Because this game is so piss easy that I never got caught even a single time in EITHER of my playthroughs. Hell, for most of my first playthrough, I nearly didn't even see any enemies in the first place. They just decided to take the day off or something, and I only ever got one or two spawns. So, no. I didn't see any of the animations. Or if you want to be pedantic, I saw the intros to... what, three animations maybe? And only because they were forced by the story? Fuck if I remember. Either way, still not enough for me to say anything on.
I found myself left with nothing but a cold, empty heart and a cold, soft ween. Something few other games have ever managed to do to me. From a game that, on the surface, looked like it should've appealed to my kinks... I don't think there's ANY in recent memory that have managed to do the same. The animations were the furthest thing from my mind at the end. All I could think about was right-clicking the folder I had the game in and hitting "Delete". I know I said it already, but it bears repeating. Even now, as I write this review, all I can feel is a deep profound sadness for all the time I wasted playing this.
Maybe I'll regret writing this review later. Maybe I won't. Maybe I'll be viewed as a whiny little baby making a mountain out of a molehill. Maybe I won't. Maybe this rating will get reported and deleted for breaking one of the review rules. Maybe it won't. I don't know. What I do know is that I will remember this game, even if I would much rather not.
So hey, y'know, at least it's memorable. That's all a dev can really ask for, right? Maybe it's only memorable because it had such a shitty ending and nothing else stuck out, but hey, still memorable!
I wanted to like this. I feel like I should've liked it. But what happened happened, and I don't like it. If I had known I would be left feeling like this, I never would've bothered with it in the first place.
I can only hope the dev's next game, if they make one, will be better than this. Despite the negative tone to this whole review, I still don't want the potential I see be wasted by stopping here. I just... want to actually see that potential be reached. A goal that was so thoroughly missed here.