VN - Ren'Py - Abandoned - Mamma Mia [Ep. 3 P1] [NBArts]

For Ep3 P1

The renders are good and the story is interesting even if it is a little weird... The dialogue is very bad and immature though... Also the English is very bad... Will look forward to future updates but the dev needs a proofreader pronto...

The mom and neighbor characters are hot! Although I have to admit being biased toward large breasted milfs. I found both of them to be attractive without having crazy proportions or looking too young. And that's really the only good thing I can say about this project so far.

I started skimming the story pretty quick into the game. There is a surprising amount of dialog considering how poorly written it is. It's bad. Machine translated bad.

Also, the game claims to have 3 episodes but has the content of a single episode.

Version: Episode 2

Potentially okay unfolding story but a lot of room for improvement

What the game has going for it is

• attractive women with different BWH proportions
  • Neighbour Laura > mother
• older women fetish (all 3 featured are older than MC)
• a potential lactation fetish

Even though the dev stated his struggle in the opening of the game, I believe constructive criticism and mature reception can only make his work better. Everything else below is what can improve:

Writing

• needs an English revision- too much Engrish makes everyone sound dumb and can't take them seriously
  • once this is fixed, the writing and lore can be better appreciated but so far I can't point out anything amazing about the writing
• unnecessary and repetitive premise in prologue (introduction of MC and his lineage's sexual culture/open relationship/free-use)
  • the "free-use" family tradition doesn't have an immediate effect on the story so builds false expectations
    • instead, after introductions, we have a typical premise of MC returning, from boarding school, to his [mother]'s home with nothing uniquely different with how any other average adult VN family behaves
      • sidenote: the sci fi plot twist is also nothing unfamiliar but does make it interesting
  • free-use custom is mentioned by the characters in the succeeding episodes with enough information in less words - even hinting to it is more intriguing than addressing it at the prologue
  • the dream, in prologue, is reused exactly the same (including dialogue) with no alteration
    • it would be fine if it was shorter but its length just makes it look like a lazy reuse

UI

• no save option or quick menu
• unnecessary 'New Character Discovered' notification - there's no point to it in a kinetic VN, moreso forcing you to click a Close button
• icons in Contact Book are not defined
• the relationship role naming placeholder implies [Mom] as there is a hardcoded [step] prefix in later text - this creates semantic issues if someone does not name the mother/caretaker as mom, e.g. stepmom or aunty will result in 'stepstepmom' or 'stepaunty'

Renders and Plot

• average rendering
  • inconsistency in colour lighting when MC hugs his mom on arrival
  • Ep II ending in the dark shows good use of shadow and light
• the father/Liam's side hairline thickness changes in the middle of dialogue
• the way the mother empties her leaky jugs doesn't make sense- it would just equal a mess
  • also, the milk looks like the same opaque glue-like texture used for poorly rendered semen - adding some translucency to make it look watery will help this
• lastly, the episodes are really short that I'd hate to call them an episode

The game contains big boobs and butts, approaches popular fetishes like incest and milfs as well as more niche ones like lactation so just that in itself will appeal to the average reader once enough content is pushed out. But for those that want carefully crafted plot sequences and depth to actions along with their sexual content then you will be disappointed.

Good luck to the dev, which ever process you decide to undergo, whether it be doing what you have planned for years or revisiting your approach based on feedback, you will get an audience I believe.

"It's been a long I haven't seen you in person"
"She smells milky, does she still milking"
"It attacks like a magnet"
What even bro!?
"...the book looks like showpiece anyway I am not very interested"

Could you kindly stop using a language that you clearly cant comprehend, DEV?

Now to the game. Just don't play it. There is no option menu and the music doesnt fkcing stop. The models have a kinda cel shady aura looking thingy and are somewhat ugliesh. At one point the father even loses his hair on the side of his head from one frame to another. The stroke i got from playing this game is so severe i cant even formulate a comprehensible review.

Well I gave this one a shot because I did like the MILF, but otherwise.... it's just bad.

Story is bad,, dialogue is bad, characters are bad with no depth.
I mean, you're just moseying along and out of the blue the MILF's tits are spraying milk everywhere... and she's not the least bit surprised or even bothered about it... and it's so out of place and weird... I guess if your fetish is milky tits, well then this game is for you... :/

Bottom line. Needs a lot of work.

I love the way how stepmom looks. But wtf. why does she have still milk in her breast? have no idea what is going to happen in this game in next updates and to be honest I just believe that there is no plot at all. also, I was not able to save the game. I was even not able to see the menue of the game, I've seen it only at the end of the episod and I was NOT ABLE TO SAVE IT. take a look, but my recommendation to wait for at least few more episodes. (i've just plaed ep 2 )

Very nice game,nice renders , awesome milfs and characters(and I hope for a little bit of taboo ). The story seems interesting. I hope the developer will continue in this direction because this is a very good beginning, so...good work and good luck

I really like the game so far, loving the sexy milfs and potential incest action. The plot seems to be going in an interesting direction. There is an issue with accessing the menu and saves but otherwise its a great VN and I am forward to the progress of the story.

Decent renders, fairly attractive women, etc. On first playthrough I couldn't access any of the menus during gameplay for saving, adjusting volume, etc... but they worked the second time after I adjusted them from the opening main screen. Looking forward to more of the story. Hopefully the developer adds some polish to the game going forward.