VN - Ren'Py - Midnight Terror [v1.0] [VisualNovels]

Not as terrible as the first review would lead you to believe.

Visuals are ok. They've made fairly good attempts with lighting and angles. Should get better with practice. Models aren't great, but also not terrible either. And it's certainly nice to see a model that shows their supposed age in the face, if not the boobs.

Pacing isn't overly fast IMO. If some confirmed nutter breaks into your place with a knife and threatens to kill you, you will probably do as they say. Bloke does get hard a bit fast though, but I'm betting it's hard to 'thumb in a softy' in CG like this, so porn plot rules will take precedence.

Just a shame it ends so abruptly just as things were getting good.

Has potential. Definitely needs a proofreader. But could be a decent game if the dev puts a bit of effort into fixing a few things.

The premise isn't bad but the execution simply isn't there. The boy and woman of the story give in too quickly and too easily.

The writing needs help, a lot of it.

It's very early so it can still be salvaged. If the Dev sees this here is my advise, take it or leave it.

First find someone to assist in the writing. Sentence structure needs help but so does story creation and also creating good characters. The boy starts off as such a douche that you really don't care what happens to him. Also the reasoning this "maniac" targets him is weak, it needs to be more in depth.

The title is Midnight Terror so don't be afraid to make it darker. Show that this maniac is ready and willing to resort to violence. Some smacking around, yanking by the hair and also maybe some forced punishment. Forced deepthroat with gagging, spanking, tie me up, tie me down, etc. You want the boy and woman to feel a sense of hopelessness.

They are supposed to be feeling fear above anything else, you don't want it to seem as though this maniac is simply bringing out their repressed desires and they are feeling horny above anything else. They don't want to have to do what they are being forced to do , so when they give in it's reluctantly and not without a little protest. Maybe have the maniac insist the boy impregnates the woman so they have a lasting memento of a night of humiliation and shame. There are a lot of possibilities.

Good luck Dev.