Another one of "these" from me. I'm only 5 minutes in, but I have to grind my axe on 75% of ALL the dialogue, so far, happening INSIDE the MC's head. Additionally, it's compensating filler dialogue. Essentially like... "what else can I say here?" is the motivation for most of the lines. The MC comes off as not a 22-year-old, but a 13-year-old, however, I can say I recently did meet a 19-year-old that was like this, so the bar may just be A LOT lower now on maturity expectations. To some degree, it is just attempts at humor that don't land, for me. I seem to be the outlier on this, since many of the reviews describe this game as being "hilarious" and is well written. Each to their own. It feels very "forced" and "obviously trying too hard" writing.
Pros: Well rendered. Models, sets, lighting - it's pretty good.
**Update**
The MC talks, at length, to himself when he's alone - not just in his head when there's someone around. The first night in bed was like an old "daily summary in bed" synopsis (Dating My Daughter and what's the other one from that time with the girl who was a musician... it's just her name as the title of the game), except the MC was holding a whole conversation with himself aloud.
Good writing and stories take you on a journey. You are along for the ride, experiencing things simultaneously with the characters. You are drawn in, almost like an active participant. This game just spews at you what they think you should be thinking or feeling. And since it's a translation, it suffers, so it may not just be a ham-handed writer, but the fact that you are inundated instantly with parentheses wrapped inner monologue by the truckload; amateur writing is definitely involved.
Easy example, the Mergers & Acquisitions MILF. When the MC awkwardly hits on her, her reaction dialogue is:
"I didn't think... I didn't realize. I didn't think you were... interested in me."
That is how the MC talks, not a 40-something woman who built her own Mergers and Acquisitions company. Not at all how she was speaking the previous night on the phone. Literally, his response reads like what SHE just said:
"I... I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. It's just... You're incredible. And I'd regret it if I didn't ask."
Clearly, they LOVE ellipses. It's a habit that bleeding everywhere in the script. But the TONE bled through between these characters and shouldn't have. This is a lapse in character. Even if she lacks experience with men, young men, or situations like this. Mergers & Acquisitions is massively about negotiations and dealing with a lot of corporate executives and politics. If they are hostile acquisitions, it is exponentially more complex and challenging. She would eat this boy for breakfast in any scenario, but here she's stumbling over her words like the MC stumbles over EVERYTHING. Her chosen career requires that she sacrificed at least SOME of her femininity for masculinity to be able to swim with the sharks and not just survive, but THRIVE and make them her bitches. If she were interested in this boy at all, she would have a near constant subtle smile and her eyes would be surveying him like potential prey - not rumbling, bumbling, stumbling anything. She wouldn't ever reveal if she was caught off guard, it's a Tell and a weakness which she would have annihilated from her being at least a decade ago, if not 2. Remember her line from the night before, "If he was working for me, he would be out of a JOB come Monday." or something like that. Go for the eyes, BOO! She's an Alpha.
"It's just one line, what's the big deal??" I'm like 10 minutes into this, if this is all already happening now and this often - it's just the scratched surface at this point. And unless I finish the game and forget, I'll update this review to eat crow and take responsibility for being an idiot.
Like any art, if you don't know the thing you're illustrating (with words or daubs of paint, whatever) you have to research and learn about it so you can try to accurately represent it. The line above was simply slapped on a page by someone to get to "good enough". And her career was selected by throwing a dart at a wall of "successful women's careers" or something like that. I'm probably completely off base with this, but this is playing out like Anime Dubs for American audiences - localized for toddler-level intellects.
Pros: Well rendered. Models, sets, lighting - it's pretty good.
**Update**
The MC talks, at length, to himself when he's alone - not just in his head when there's someone around. The first night in bed was like an old "daily summary in bed" synopsis (Dating My Daughter and what's the other one from that time with the girl who was a musician... it's just her name as the title of the game), except the MC was holding a whole conversation with himself aloud.
Good writing and stories take you on a journey. You are along for the ride, experiencing things simultaneously with the characters. You are drawn in, almost like an active participant. This game just spews at you what they think you should be thinking or feeling. And since it's a translation, it suffers, so it may not just be a ham-handed writer, but the fact that you are inundated instantly with parentheses wrapped inner monologue by the truckload; amateur writing is definitely involved.
Easy example, the Mergers & Acquisitions MILF. When the MC awkwardly hits on her, her reaction dialogue is:
"I didn't think... I didn't realize. I didn't think you were... interested in me."
That is how the MC talks, not a 40-something woman who built her own Mergers and Acquisitions company. Not at all how she was speaking the previous night on the phone. Literally, his response reads like what SHE just said:
"I... I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. It's just... You're incredible. And I'd regret it if I didn't ask."
Clearly, they LOVE ellipses. It's a habit that bleeding everywhere in the script. But the TONE bled through between these characters and shouldn't have. This is a lapse in character. Even if she lacks experience with men, young men, or situations like this. Mergers & Acquisitions is massively about negotiations and dealing with a lot of corporate executives and politics. If they are hostile acquisitions, it is exponentially more complex and challenging. She would eat this boy for breakfast in any scenario, but here she's stumbling over her words like the MC stumbles over EVERYTHING. Her chosen career requires that she sacrificed at least SOME of her femininity for masculinity to be able to swim with the sharks and not just survive, but THRIVE and make them her bitches. If she were interested in this boy at all, she would have a near constant subtle smile and her eyes would be surveying him like potential prey - not rumbling, bumbling, stumbling anything. She wouldn't ever reveal if she was caught off guard, it's a Tell and a weakness which she would have annihilated from her being at least a decade ago, if not 2. Remember her line from the night before, "If he was working for me, he would be out of a JOB come Monday." or something like that. Go for the eyes, BOO! She's an Alpha.
"It's just one line, what's the big deal??" I'm like 10 minutes into this, if this is all already happening now and this often - it's just the scratched surface at this point. And unless I finish the game and forget, I'll update this review to eat crow and take responsibility for being an idiot.
Like any art, if you don't know the thing you're illustrating (with words or daubs of paint, whatever) you have to research and learn about it so you can try to accurately represent it. The line above was simply slapped on a page by someone to get to "good enough". And her career was selected by throwing a dart at a wall of "successful women's careers" or something like that. I'm probably completely off base with this, but this is playing out like Anime Dubs for American audiences - localized for toddler-level intellects.