Great art, below average writing, which is unfortunate as this is pretty much a kinetic novel, so unless there's an actual adventure or gameplay hiding in later chapters, the writing needs to hold this thing up.
The other glowing reviews of the writing threw me off, so I went back and replayed the first few chapters. The tone is excellent, but both the narrative and dialogue are lacking, and feel as though they didn't consider that the messages would be delivered one line at a time.
While some have said it feels thin, the problem is that too many of the lines are filler, and some editing (with judicious use of the delete key) would likely go far, because each line literally stands on it's own on the screen. Trimming down could result in more consistent pacing, as I know that I'd be less likely to click-spam though it. There are other alternative solutions to this problem, like delivering multiple lines at a time when nothing else is changing on screen.
The other glowing reviews of the writing threw me off, so I went back and replayed the first few chapters. The tone is excellent, but both the narrative and dialogue are lacking, and feel as though they didn't consider that the messages would be delivered one line at a time.
While some have said it feels thin, the problem is that too many of the lines are filler, and some editing (with judicious use of the delete key) would likely go far, because each line literally stands on it's own on the screen. Trimming down could result in more consistent pacing, as I know that I'd be less likely to click-spam though it. There are other alternative solutions to this problem, like delivering multiple lines at a time when nothing else is changing on screen.