VN Ren'Py My femdom Renp'y game pitch!

[IDONTHAVEANAME844]

From the game's intro: "You are a 21 year old man about to finish your studies. You live alone, close to the university. Rei lives just across the hall. She's a huge cocktease. She caught your eye on the very first day — her confidence, her curves, and that look in her eyes that said she always knew more than she let on. You are pretty good friends."

The game will be like Surrendering To My Crush (not affiliated with it in any way, I'm just a big fan of the game), but instead of exploring the feminization side of chastity cages, my game will explore the orgasm control and denial side of chastity! I made 1.5 scenes (A few minutes of gameplay)- introduction scene (one scene), and until you get caged in the next scene (less than half a scene)

I’d really appreciate feedback on:

• Whether the premise feels interesting
• What fetishes or themes you'd like to see (I'm already thinking about CBT, SPH, facesitting, orgasm denial, and NTR- skippable ofc)

Any suggestions or thoughts are super welcome!

The demo (It's not a full release):
Win/Linux:

You must be registered to see the links

Thanks in advance!

 

[noway1]

I didn't play it, but I'd not recommend to ask the community here.
Do whatever you want to do, so the game is fun for you.
Yes, afterwards I and everyone else will post about what should been different in your game, for instance I'd tell you "This game needs human toilet fetish". But it doesn't matter, what you create, there will always people with different taste and focus.

 

[Kapap]

Seems cool, teasing seems great, if she would deny/edge player or even say she will ntr him but still only teasing seems okay.

But yea femdom is nice, to don't make it stale, making her teaser is great idea.

 

[KRanseyer]

Chastity? NTR?
Haters will be all over you. And they will be trying to force you to make an "alpha path".

Ignore them or your game will go south.

 

[tremere87]

A chastity themed game without sissification and cuckolding also optional? Sign me in. God I was hoping for such a game.

 

[my_name_is_lurkers]

If you are going for the denial side, facesitting/cunnilingus would be the main adjacent subfetish.

You might want to think about sandboxy elements that relate to the duration of denial.
Maybe check out the smoking system in Bright Past.

 

[my_name_is_lurkers]

Also, check out the first chapter of Secretary up to the first caging to get an interesting sequence where many choices are valid and later lead to similar outcomes. But I would recommend to make your game much shorter and end it before the story becomes as convoluted as the later chapters of Secretary. Lost in Laminate has a good length and width, I wouldn't exceed that.
If you have NTR, please avoid the whole BNWO stuff or make it very optional. I think it would reduce the audience by a lot.

Also, use Sissy Girlfriend Experiment as an example of a game with too much width and too many characters and too much story with very little depth. I think it's always better to keep things short, sweet and focused. Then you can focus on details that make the world feel real.

 

[YourSecretAdmirer]

Hello, good job on starting your game!

A few tips as a fellow ren'py developer of the femdom inclination. Dark text on a black background doesn't look very good. I'd make either the text box white, or change the font to a lighter shade.

You don't need to show so much of the body on every scene. I'd use more close-ups personally like the one on scene1_11 (although I'd have had both characters centered instead of centering on the girl). Also always keep the textbox in mind when rendering. Anything close to the bottom of the screen won't be seen in the game.

Lastly, consider adding music. The right music can add a lot to the atmosphere and make the game that much more immersive. You don't need to pay for them, look up royalty-free music and you should find a pretty good selection.

Good luck!

 

[Chastyme]

I like the idea of a game about femdom and chastity.

There are a lot of other fetish associated with that and most of them are not liked by everyone so I would sort them before adding them. Something like:

Main:
Orgasm control & denial (edging, ruined, locked orgasm, etc.)

Optional (often associated with chastity/femdom but not everyone is into all of it)
CBT
SPH
Humiliation
Findom (if there is work/money in the game)
Feet
services (doing the chores, food, etc.)
Anal/prostate play

Very optional (can be important for some and an absolute no for others/many)
NTR (and the racial/bnwo things)
light feminization (not sissy but like wearing panties or dressing in private, like dressing as a maid to do the chores, can be part of the humiliation play)
BDSM
Pee/scat stuff

 

[LoganP]

I would like to see:
Spankings - Harsh, with different implements and ranging from OTK to full blown BDSM-stuff.
Humiliation - Being subjugated to stuff in front of someone they like or are superior to and lose their authority.
Anal play - From mild prostate play to rough peggings.

Good luck!

 

[IDONTHAVEANAME844]

Thanks everyone for your comments! I'll be taking them into consideration moving forward (I've already implemented some of the changes YourSecretAdmirer suggested, and I've progressed a bit with the first scene)

Edit: so far I have 12 scene ideas (for 10 of which I already have Rei's side written, but it won't be too difficult to add mc's side and narration), with different fetishes (stripteasing, nudity denial, tease and denial, cuckold talk, light feminization, etc) and a general idea as to how to incorporate CBT in some scenes. I just need to be quicker at CharaStudio modeling

You might want to think about sandboxy elements that relate to the duration of denial.
Maybe check out the smoking system in Bright Past.

Haven't played Bright Past, but I think of making something like a point system that changes with each desicion you make and if you (for example) have more than 10 points you get one version of a specific scene and otherwise, you get a different version. Maybe the amount of points can correlate to how "good" of a "slave" you are; the better you are, the more points you have and the less points you have, the meaner she is. (Kinda like Karlsson's Gambit)