Ren'Py New game discussion thread

[DaBlackQueenDiamond]

Introduction

Hi, beautiful people! I am the black queen diamond or BQD for short. I am currently working on a visual novel called "Flawless" that I am hoping to release mid 2024. The script is about 70% complete. I'm currently working on character development and scenes. I need opinions on the look of some of my characters and they will be posted here as I complete them. I'm still learning Renpy and Daz Studio so there may be a couple of kinks that I will iron out as I progress.



Overview:

Flawless is based in the down south. It's about an undercover cop named Brandon who is tasked with getting information about a mysterious drug pin from his stepdaughter, Mela. However, as Brandon spends more time with Mela, he begins to develop feelings for her. Despite his conflicting emotions, Brandon continues to pursue the case, but finds it increasingly difficult to balance his duty with his growing affection for her. As he dives deeper into the investigation, he must ultimately decide between his loyalty to the job and his heart.


The two main characters:

 

[DaBlackQueenDiamond]

I feel good about Mela's look, but something is off on Brandon and I don't know what it is. Here's a closer look.

 

[GordonShock]

They both look great, Mela especially. That being said, the facial features and their proportions need to be the same, otherwise, they look like they come from two different games/universes.

I favor the slightly cartoonish look of Mela, over the more realistic driven Brandon, as it offers more personality. So if I were you, I'd bring his look in line with hers.

Good luck!

 

[disturb-o-matic]

I agree with GordonShock, in that Mela looks really good, but Brandon doesn't quite match her slightly more cartoony features. Maybe play around with his eye shape and jawline a bit to try and get some of the realism out.

 

[| Vee |]

Alright:

1. Both do not match in resemblance but if you are going for step than It's...feasible I guess
2. Brandon shouldn't be older? He is looking a bit younger and have that childish aura/vibe in his full body shot
3. Mela is looking older/mature than Brandon or as a more strong character in full body shot

 

[DaBlackQueenDiamond]

Thank you so much for this info. I will definitely use your advice!

 

[DaBlackQueenDiamond]

They both look great, Mela especially. That being said, the facial features and their proportions need to be the same, otherwise, they look like they come from two different games/universes.

I favor the slightly cartoonish look of Mela, over the more realistic driven Brandon, as it offers more personality. So if I were you, I'd bring his look in line with hers.

Good luck!

Thank you! I didn't realize they looked so different until you pointed it out. Mela does have a more cartoonish look which I love.

 

[DaBlackQueenDiamond]

I agree with GordonShock, in that Mela looks really good, but Brandon doesn't quite match her slightly more cartoony features. Maybe play around with his eye shape and jawline a bit to try and get some of the realism out.

Thank you for your suggestion! I'll definitely go back and adjust his features.

 

[DaBlackQueenDiamond]

Alright:

1. Both do not match in resemblance but if you are going for step than It's...feasible I guess
2. Brandon shouldn't be older? He is looking a bit younger and have that childish aura/vibe in his full body shot
3. Mela is looking older/mature than Brandon or as a more strong character in full body shot

Brandon is supposed to be older than Mela. So, I'll definitely adjust his wardrobe. Thank you for your input!

 

[Kamishirov]

I think that Brandon need to look a bit more rugged, his hairstyle should be less, how do I say it, cosmopolitan and more country.

His upper body should be more bulky, more ripped. As someone already mentioned he should look older too.

As for his clothes something more practical, he should be dressed like he's going to work on his truck or something.



Seeing the two characters together they seem very much like a college couple, it feels off given the storyline.

I don't really have too much to say about Mela apart from that she's cute, so no problems there I guess.

 

[DaBlackQueenDiamond]

I think that Brandon need to look a bit more rugged, his hairstyle should be less, how do I say it, cosmopolitan and more country.

His upper body should be more bulky, more ripped. As someone already mentioned he should look older too.

As for his clothes something more practical, he should be dressed like he's going to work on his truck or something.



Seeing the two characters together they seem very much like a college couple, it feels off given the storyline.

I don't really have too much to say about Mela apart from that she's cute, so no problems there I guess.

Thank you, I'll definitely use this advice!

 

[jish55]

Such a gorgeous looking female character. We need more main black love interests, so I'm all in on this. As for look, Mela is perfect, but mc can definitely use some tweaking (I'd suggest using a male model from the same creator as you got Mela's model from).

 

[Mark17]

Is gonna have another LI's in the game or just Mela?
(Something like Mela sister or Female cop)

 

[PeopleCallMeSmile]

Looks promising. She's beautiful but Brandon in comparisson looks kinda young, and the same GordoShock said, try developing that.
And, is her mother one of those extremely hot ebony MILFs that destroy men with passion?

 

[DaBlackQueenDiamond]

Is gonna have another LI's in the game or just Mela?
(Something like Mela sister or Female cop)

There's 2 leading ladies Mela and Brooke. I will post Brooke here once I've completed her! There will also be multiple side ladies as well.

 

[DaBlackQueenDiamond]

Looks promising. She's beautiful but Brandon in comparisson looks kinda young, and the same GordoShock said, try developing that.
And, is her mother one of those extremely hot ebony MILFs that destroy men with passion?

I'm still working on mom. Thinking of maybe aging her up a little more. So, she might not look this way in the finish product.