VN - Ren'Py - Abandoned - Off the Pitch [v0.9 Extra] [Maks]

Feels a bit redundant to review an Abandoned, but it was recently recommended and doesn't really deserve the recommendation.

The renders are pretty poor - everyone stands unhealthily close together and often have weird poses and crooked necks

Most of the models chosen were pretty good but with poor lighting doesn't do them justice.

The writing sucks - the women are all vapid and absolutely throw themselves at the cringy mc. You also see all their thoughts and everything they do in private, which is lame.

You even need to make your first path decision based on just seeing the back of their head

Let this be a lesson to all developers out there.

Just because your models get better, doesn't mean your game does. Visually this game is leagues above everything else he's done. But only so far as that he's moved past the Gen3 models. His posing is mostly still terrible, no facial expressions, nothing that makes the models feel a live.

Shots are still covered in too many light sources and look blown out. Sets are generic and "out of the box" with no distinctive changes to make them look unique to the game.

Story is the same bland crap that Chloe is. (He peaked in SC, Revenga was so-so but looked horrible.)

Maks needs to hire a writer and someone to critique his renders before release.

Well, it doesn't seem to have any homophobia, so default it's a lot better than the last game, Revenga. Nothing great, and I wouldn't recommend it, but it was fun to play for a while.
I really like the clothing that most of the girls wear in the game.

It's just kinda a shame because I liked Maks first game a lot(Second Chances or something like that.), and finished it in one sitting, and this is still a massive downgrade compared to that. I think with that game Maks proved that they can make somethinng good, so please, keep trying Maks.

If I can offer some constructive criticism, please add music, even if it's public domain music it'll be better than silence.

I waited too long for a Visual Novel that had football as the backdrop for the story haha. Renders are decent and the storyline is pretty good, though maybe not groundbreaking if I'm being honest. Lots of potential here for sure. A solid entry so far... i look forward to seeing where it goes.

A classic Maks-game.

Weak dialogues followed by static and emotionless bodies. The only good thing about these games are it's a guaranteed sex fest and you won't have to think too much as there's not too much that happens since the game is quite simple.

It's a nice change of pace but I wouldn't call it something special.

The story is absolutely great with good ICST potential! The graphics are good and they are design for everyone, petite lovers as chubby ;-)
So far, the game feature next to no choices, in the story as in the spicy scenes.
When corrected, the game would reach 5 stars.

Same old thing as the predecessors of this game. The renders, characters and plot/story is okayish. But the dialogues are very childish and immature. Also, the game Football/soccer is played by eleven players, not four. Even, if it is Futsal, still you need 5 men (or women as in here) in your team. It is a basic thing, however the dev, depicted only four players both when the mc was a player and when he was introduced as coach to the college team. Later there were more but what about reserve bench. If one of them are injured or sent off then what?? Time to be more practical for the dev. Moreover, as I said the dialogues are very childish e.g. - Bob said to the MC - "I will fuck yvonne to silly" or something along those, how can anyone say that in the face of a person who is dating that girl. Even an idiot will not do that. These same errors were there in second chance and revenga.

Bad story, bad renders, B̶a̶d̶ ̶l̶o̶o̶k̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶c̶h̶a̶r̶a̶c̶t̶e̶r̶s̶ great looking characters, poorly written dialogue and the same old generic tropes. The only thing different i guess is the whole setting of the game which I've not really seen out of some movies. But the build up on that is really abysmal.

P.S. - the dev was mad that I gave a bad review so he told me to tell everyone that his characters are beautiful

original premise, clumsy execution. i played through this and was really frustrated. the idea is great; a redemption story where the main character learns to be less of a selfish jerk and that actions have consequences, presumably with sex and relationships along the way. in that way it is a very traditional story, and the tabloids are littered with football players' scandals, so it is not short of inspiration or plausibility. but it was not paced well and the set up was abrupt and the dialogue was cartoonish and unsubtle. as a massive football fan, the lack of details and realism killed me. just because one plays successfully does not mean one has the personality , leadership and communication skills or coaching badges necessary to coach. also if you run a college, maybe putting a drunk screwup playboy in charge of the women's football program is not a great idea. i loved the idea but it was the sort of bad that made me want to rewrite the whole thing. that is partly my hubris, but a good story doesn't make you feel that way. i would love to see an ideal version of this story in the future. unfortunately i fear that that will not happen.

The story so far is great, you have a disgraced former athletic phenom trying to find a new lease on life after a Drunk driving accident. The main character is thankfully not a push over like many MC's have been in a lot of other games, if someone disrespects him, he responds in kind, but isn't an asshole if you haven't been one to him.

The story is great, and the details about soccer, and athletic life rings true as someone who played both soccer and football in highschool. The character is both famous and good looking, so the fact that most women want him, actually makes sense and doesn't break story immersion.

The only downside is that as of 0.2 there is only a few minutes of content, but this will be added on to in further releases.

Story 5/5
Characters 5/5
sex scenes 4/5
renders 4/5

overall 4.5/5

Version 0.2

It's a good story. I know a handful of professional "soccer" players, retired already, and from my experience this story is totally realistic. This stuff happens.

It has intro music but it ends there.

Renders and girls are good enough but nothing special so far.

The dialogues and interactions have some issues imo.
The Dean is married woman and comes too strong the moment she lays eyes on the MC. Paraphrasing: "Hey my husband is leaving, come to my house"...
We have a choice about closing or not a future relation with Tilly literally without even showing us the girls face. Easy fix.
When the MC sleeps in the couch I thought: "I bet she's gona catch him with morning wood" and voilá, it's like clockwork followed by the usual thought like "omg he's my brother, I shouldn't be looking" sort of thing. It was either that or the bathroom shower peeking or some other akward thing already done to exhaustion.

So yeah, it seems to me like another one of those games where all girls will want to jump on the MC but at least here he's interesting, famous and in shape guy, not some idiot kid. His ex-gf not having contact with him is, imo, realistic since apparently he was cheating on her which also happens A LOT at least in those parties so I won't judge her. Again, it's all more than plausible from what I've experienced irl.

I haven't seen any sex scenes, the car bj doesn't count, and I don't know if they are present in this build because I didn't explore all routes. Knowing the devs previous tittles, they won't be bad and influence my rating in any way.

In conclusion: I was expecting a bit more from an experienced dev like this than those porn game like cliche I mentioned above.
The story being original and realistic, at least for me, is the strong point of this VN. I will definitely follow it.

Thank you and the best of luck.

As of version 0.9 I'm done with this one.