Some history. I've tried playing this before and I quit because of all the things written in it that directly trigger me. Things that I find intolerant. Because I see it pop up so often as I'm doing things, and it's so well reviewed, I'm giving it another try and focusing on getting past my triggers.
My father was an addict. My sister is an addict. More than likely means that I would be an addict had I not developed being so triggered by addiction. I hate it. It inherently makes me prejudiced towards addicts. Benefits, if they aren't family, I never have the compassion for them to be taken advantage of by them, so it protects me. Disadvantages, same deal, I lack the compassion which means I am prejudging people who are in some of the worst pain and helplessness that I can fathom in existence. So there's that.
Secondly, for my entire life, my mother has done the exact (*edit: not QUITE the same - it's far more nuanced in this game.) same constant interrupting and hijacking of conversations that these characters in this game does. It is SO rude and disrespectful. My mother has never had the self awareness to acknowledge what she does. The characters in this game DO, they are fully aware, they just repeatedly CHOOSE to be cunts a dozen times in every conversation they have. Which simply reinforces what they are saying about the person they are talking with every time they do it. "I know you're talking, but what I have to say is far more important than whatever you were already in the process of saying. ME, more important. I don't even have to have a handle or understanding of what I want to say. Whatever it is, will still be more important because it's ME saying it." Just spoiled, self-indulgent idiocy. This is absolutely a LIFETIME of living with someone like this, adding far more weight to this scenario than it deserves. But the fact that spoiled, self-indulgence is just a rampant way of existing in modern times, I'm fine with being a champion against shit like this.
That all being said, as other reviews have mentioned, this IS a very poignant and worthwhile topic for a game. The potential for redemption arcs is rife, and those are almost always my favorite arcs because they usually start off as the most unattractive, bottom of the list, characters in these games and end up as my favorites.
I am at the very beginning of the game. I've gotten nowhere in it except needing to vent here to help me get past my triggers. I will add more later, I just needed to talk to someone. Thank you for being there for me.
UPDATE: Still before Season 2, but I'm deep in Season 1.
I have NO idea what life experience Zoey Raven has, but, my god, the level of detail on the life of an addict is just mind-bogglingly detailed. Like it or not, you HAVE to acknowledge the work/skill/talent that this reveals. I'm reminded of, in Leap of Faith, when CeeCee tries to explain how being her for a regular day is like for her mind. It absolutely broke me down. I was a basket case for at least an hour because it is so meticulously written that even someone who has NO mental health issues AT ALL will still (do such people exist in this day and age?) likely feel something and have an inkling of understanding. But for someone who has mental health issues (I'm tearing up just thinking about it) it's like two things simultaneously, for me. It's like crying because you're so happy about something, but also relieved AND terribly sad - it's such a confluence (...but... Mental Health, so apropos). Crying because, emotions. Happy because, it is so accurately written you KNOW this writer has either directly or indirectly experienced this for real - so there is a kinship there (someone understands, I'm not alone...). Relieved, again someone understands me, I'm not alone. Terribly sad, because... I'm NOT alone. Someone else (too many someone's) had/has to live like this too, in some way.
I get the same feelings with addiction in One Day at a Time. No tears (yet), but remember I'm dealing with a deep-seated, irrational hatred for addiction. I'm not strong enough a person to objectively handle addiction. Even if you are not like me in this, this topic/game will (I think) make you feel things you don't like. Uncomfortable, helpless, panicked, stupid. Especially if you Self-Insert while playing these games. For me, that is an indication of a REMARKABLE game. I don't even need to finish this to know that this is almost 5-Stars for a reason, just like Leap of Faith.
I don't know if Zoey has lived this life, someone close to them has, or is an incredible writer and researcher. Thank you for the game. Thank you for the bravery (if it IS a personal topic), especially in this day and age. People lash out at Drifty, which I cannot wrap my head around at all. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but games that are THIS personal; where the topic happened to the person or to their child (as is the case in Leap of Faith) - agree with them or not, like it or not, at least have the humanity to respect their pain and just move on with your life. They have already paid a far greater price than you likely ever will in your life, there is no need to add your two cents.
Anyhow, I digress. I thought I'd be lowering my star rating when I vented at the beginning of all of this. I was CERTAIN, I would. I'm not. I could nitpick about all kinds of things, but none of it matters when the heart of this game is SO strong.
UPDATE: Day 24 in Season 2
Just a couple of things. The dialogue in this game is very extrovert written dialogue. By that, I mean, extroverts universally operate from a perspective and lifestyle of "Talking is just fun." Everything they say takes the "scenic route" to getting to or making a point. It is a part of their being. That exists in this game, which, for me, I could say it needs editing. But I am cognizant that this is all very normal, conversational, dialogue that is true to these characters. None of them, not even Audrey (who, I think, if there was one, she would be it) is introverted beyond alluding to it in spots, but she doesn't talk or behave like one.
You can see the progression of Zoey's grow in rendering as the game goes on. It's nice to see the growth. I like it.
Lastly, and this is probably divisive. My opinion, is that everyone's "acerbic" style humor in this (starts with Lydia and the MC, but the entire group does it) is just gaslighting. The reasoning and enabling of it by the MC repeatedly telling Lydia to "never change" doesn't change what it is. You can see cultural examples of this in "banter" in Australians. Lots of cultures gaslight each other, it's almost a rite of passage, but it's still gaslighting. Throughout the game, they have moments where one or more of them has their tolerance cup "runneth over" and they ask them to NOT "make a joke" because they can't take it right now - which just solidifies it IS abuse that they are usually fine with. For me, I only ever saw it as gaslighting and I would just rather not abuse someone, let alone a loved one or friend. Jokes at someone else's expense just isn't humor to me, it's bullying. Again, my feeling on the matter. I understand they are all consenting with this 90% of the time. The fact that there IS a percentage of time when they aren't consenting because they are raw and/or vulnerable is just proof of my feelings on the matter. MC and Lydia do have a real and beautiful love, but they are also completely toxic with each other and just about everyone they are in contact with. Not all the time, but not a single day goes by where they aren't.
My father was an addict. My sister is an addict. More than likely means that I would be an addict had I not developed being so triggered by addiction. I hate it. It inherently makes me prejudiced towards addicts. Benefits, if they aren't family, I never have the compassion for them to be taken advantage of by them, so it protects me. Disadvantages, same deal, I lack the compassion which means I am prejudging people who are in some of the worst pain and helplessness that I can fathom in existence. So there's that.
Secondly, for my entire life, my mother has done the exact (*edit: not QUITE the same - it's far more nuanced in this game.) same constant interrupting and hijacking of conversations that these characters in this game does. It is SO rude and disrespectful. My mother has never had the self awareness to acknowledge what she does. The characters in this game DO, they are fully aware, they just repeatedly CHOOSE to be cunts a dozen times in every conversation they have. Which simply reinforces what they are saying about the person they are talking with every time they do it. "I know you're talking, but what I have to say is far more important than whatever you were already in the process of saying. ME, more important. I don't even have to have a handle or understanding of what I want to say. Whatever it is, will still be more important because it's ME saying it." Just spoiled, self-indulgent idiocy. This is absolutely a LIFETIME of living with someone like this, adding far more weight to this scenario than it deserves. But the fact that spoiled, self-indulgence is just a rampant way of existing in modern times, I'm fine with being a champion against shit like this.
That all being said, as other reviews have mentioned, this IS a very poignant and worthwhile topic for a game. The potential for redemption arcs is rife, and those are almost always my favorite arcs because they usually start off as the most unattractive, bottom of the list, characters in these games and end up as my favorites.
I am at the very beginning of the game. I've gotten nowhere in it except needing to vent here to help me get past my triggers. I will add more later, I just needed to talk to someone. Thank you for being there for me.
UPDATE: Still before Season 2, but I'm deep in Season 1.
I have NO idea what life experience Zoey Raven has, but, my god, the level of detail on the life of an addict is just mind-bogglingly detailed. Like it or not, you HAVE to acknowledge the work/skill/talent that this reveals. I'm reminded of, in Leap of Faith, when CeeCee tries to explain how being her for a regular day is like for her mind. It absolutely broke me down. I was a basket case for at least an hour because it is so meticulously written that even someone who has NO mental health issues AT ALL will still (do such people exist in this day and age?) likely feel something and have an inkling of understanding. But for someone who has mental health issues (I'm tearing up just thinking about it) it's like two things simultaneously, for me. It's like crying because you're so happy about something, but also relieved AND terribly sad - it's such a confluence (...but... Mental Health, so apropos). Crying because, emotions. Happy because, it is so accurately written you KNOW this writer has either directly or indirectly experienced this for real - so there is a kinship there (someone understands, I'm not alone...). Relieved, again someone understands me, I'm not alone. Terribly sad, because... I'm NOT alone. Someone else (too many someone's) had/has to live like this too, in some way.
I get the same feelings with addiction in One Day at a Time. No tears (yet), but remember I'm dealing with a deep-seated, irrational hatred for addiction. I'm not strong enough a person to objectively handle addiction. Even if you are not like me in this, this topic/game will (I think) make you feel things you don't like. Uncomfortable, helpless, panicked, stupid. Especially if you Self-Insert while playing these games. For me, that is an indication of a REMARKABLE game. I don't even need to finish this to know that this is almost 5-Stars for a reason, just like Leap of Faith.
I don't know if Zoey has lived this life, someone close to them has, or is an incredible writer and researcher. Thank you for the game. Thank you for the bravery (if it IS a personal topic), especially in this day and age. People lash out at Drifty, which I cannot wrap my head around at all. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but games that are THIS personal; where the topic happened to the person or to their child (as is the case in Leap of Faith) - agree with them or not, like it or not, at least have the humanity to respect their pain and just move on with your life. They have already paid a far greater price than you likely ever will in your life, there is no need to add your two cents.
Anyhow, I digress. I thought I'd be lowering my star rating when I vented at the beginning of all of this. I was CERTAIN, I would. I'm not. I could nitpick about all kinds of things, but none of it matters when the heart of this game is SO strong.
UPDATE: Day 24 in Season 2
Just a couple of things. The dialogue in this game is very extrovert written dialogue. By that, I mean, extroverts universally operate from a perspective and lifestyle of "Talking is just fun." Everything they say takes the "scenic route" to getting to or making a point. It is a part of their being. That exists in this game, which, for me, I could say it needs editing. But I am cognizant that this is all very normal, conversational, dialogue that is true to these characters. None of them, not even Audrey (who, I think, if there was one, she would be it) is introverted beyond alluding to it in spots, but she doesn't talk or behave like one.
You can see the progression of Zoey's grow in rendering as the game goes on. It's nice to see the growth. I like it.
Lastly, and this is probably divisive. My opinion, is that everyone's "acerbic" style humor in this (starts with Lydia and the MC, but the entire group does it) is just gaslighting. The reasoning and enabling of it by the MC repeatedly telling Lydia to "never change" doesn't change what it is. You can see cultural examples of this in "banter" in Australians. Lots of cultures gaslight each other, it's almost a rite of passage, but it's still gaslighting. Throughout the game, they have moments where one or more of them has their tolerance cup "runneth over" and they ask them to NOT "make a joke" because they can't take it right now - which just solidifies it IS abuse that they are usually fine with. For me, I only ever saw it as gaslighting and I would just rather not abuse someone, let alone a loved one or friend. Jokes at someone else's expense just isn't humor to me, it's bullying. Again, my feeling on the matter. I understand they are all consenting with this 90% of the time. The fact that there IS a percentage of time when they aren't consenting because they are raw and/or vulnerable is just proof of my feelings on the matter. MC and Lydia do have a real and beautiful love, but they are also completely toxic with each other and just about everyone they are in contact with. Not all the time, but not a single day goes by where they aren't.
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