Oppai Auteur's Personal Adult Fiction

[Oppai Auteur]

I wasn't really sure whether this should be posted here or in the art section, but I thought it would be best to play it safe and post it here. I mean, if it doesn't belong here a mod can just move it anyway

Anyway, hey folks I'm Oppai Auteur, currently working on my first game Old Friends and Public Transport, which I encourage you to check out if you have the time.

And I also have an Art Thread as well, which again I hope you will take the time to check out

The purpose of the art thread was to have a place were I could post different Daz3D renders, that didn't necessarily try into my game and get feedback on how my work looked. That feedback could be then applied to my game's art as well as personal stuff. So I thought why not do the same with my writing!

The story attached to this post is currently untitled and unfinished, and I know that might seem like a strange way to start a thread like this. But I'm of the opinion that you shouldn't get to far into a creative project without getting some feedback. The last thing you want is to have gone and done a tone of work only to find out you need to change large chunks of it because you didn't have mistakes pointed out soon enough

When it comes to the actual story itself, I'm quite a big fan of sword and sorcery/fantasy style stories so that was the kind of style I was aiming for. With some more adult elements obviously. I'm also a big fan of how the older stories you would find in Weird Tales, like Conan, were just short stories with recurring characters. A serialization approach, that's what I'm aiming for. Same characters with individual adventures, with some recurring story points, but not really a novel format.

The story I have here introduces characters I plan to write multiple stories about, a father and two daughters who are all mercenaries in the same company. I want the stories to be adult in both sex and action, so lots of blood in the fight scenes, and graphic when it comes to the sex, and their will be plenty of both

When it comes to fetishes, the only thing I can say just now is that there will be incest in the future, but I'll be sure to label every story when it comes out so you know what kind of content you are getting into

Anyway, hope you find at least a little potential in the story I've posted. Please be sure to leave feedback, both positive and negative. I want to know what my strengths and weaknesses are. I don't mind you being harsh as long as its constructive!

Spoiler: Story

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Cheers folks!

 

[Dilettante]

I do see a fair bit of potential in this start. Like you, i'm a fan of story genres\styles you listed, and i'm playing quite a few of adult text based games that centered around adventuring through fantasy world, like Fenoxo team and few others doing. I'm quite liking theme of this story so far, a father and two daughters in a mercenary company, and the writing style. Seems fairly interesting and full of exciting possibilities. I think in this, we can appreciate your writing even better than in a illustrated story like Old Friends. All those juicy descriptions... Quite a nice start of the story overall, the only "weaknesses" i can see is few small mistakes. Very much liked how different sisters look and personality-wise, father seem to be a cool guy as well. Excited to read more of this story and know more about story's world. Btw, is there any fantasy humanoid races here?

 

[Oppai Auteur]

I do see a fair bit of potential in this start. Like you, i'm a fan of story genres\styles you listed, and i'm playing quite a few of adult text based games that centered around adventuring through fantasy world, like Fenoxo team and few others doing. I'm quite liking theme of this story so far, a father and two daughters in a mercenary company, and the writing style. Seems fairly interesting and full of exciting possibilities. I think in this, we can appreciate your writing even better than in a illustrated story like Old Friends. All those juicy descriptions... Quite a nice start of the story overall, the only "weaknesses" i can see is few small mistakes. Very much liked how different sisters look and personality-wise, father seem to be a cool guy as well. Excited to read more of this story and know more about story's world. Btw, is there any fantasy humanoid races here?

Haven't decided on the fantasy races yet, want to try and find my footing with just regular human characters fighting different foes, mostly humans and monsters, with a little magic. Don't know if I'm quite ready to design a whole race and culture lol

This first story will be just fighting bandits, the second will introduce some monsters, then we'll see where we go from there

 

[Dilettante]

Haven't decided on the fantasy races yet, want to try and find my footing with just regular human characters fighting different foes, mostly humans and monsters, with a little magic. Don't know if I'm quite ready to design a whole race and culture lol

Well, you can always copy races\cultures from some well known sources, just like almost every other creator do. Catgirls, harpies, manticors and all other usual cuties. I can definitely understand if you want to be original though.

This first story will be just fighting bandits, the second will introduce some monsters, then we'll see where we go from there

Are those monsters sapient by any chance?

 

[Oppai Auteur]

Are those monsters sapient by any chance?

Not in that story no, we'll see what happens down the line. Like I said in the first post, I plan for these to all be short stories so there is room to experiment

 

[Oppai Auteur]

Got a little update to the story here, still not complete yet but its getting there....still doesn't have a title either lol

The story is fully planned out already but I'm hitting the odd road bump when it comes to trying to get it all to flow together. Sometimes its hard to take what's pictured in your head and transfer it to words. The beginning came out OK for an incomplete first draft, and I know how the end is going to play out. But I'm not entirely happy with how this middle section is coming together. Not happy with my work in general, but I'm always like that. Finding it hard to work in the more adult language and scenes while also keeping it balanced with the other elements. Need to work on my purple prose, get it feeling more a like a good old sword and sorcery tale lol

Anyway, ignore my rambling, here is the update!

Spoiler: Story

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Please do leave me some feedback folks, and I'd really appreciate it if you could make it detailed, really want to improve at this!

 

[Dilettante]

That was some interesting update to the story, can't wait for more. I wonder, how exactly did she "killed" their mom. Don't think it was much of something physical, more psychological perhaps? Sounds like dad was involved too. Nice level of suspense.
Cool idea with cleansing powder btw, i like it. Sadly can't give much of a detailed feedback, since everything is pretty much to my taste so far. Hopefully somebody else will comment about things they didn't like.

Sometimes its hard to take what's pictured in your head and transfer it to words.

Heh, i know that feeling all too well.

 

[Oppai Auteur]

Sadly can't give much of a detailed feedback, since everything is pretty much to my taste so far.

I'm sure you could if you tried

Hopefully somebody else will comment about things they didn't like.

Hopefully soon lol

 

[Dilettante]

I'm sure you could if you tried

I'm not so sure i could say much more even if i specifically tried to give each scene a commentary. For me when it comes to text, it's easier to give feedback about things that i didn't like and "what should've done imo", or listing bugs\mistakes etc, than about things that i do feel positive about without it being something exceptional, like discussing game's theories. Especially when the story is in such early beginning phase. I like the direction story goes in, nothing seems glaring enough to write about.

Hopefully soon lol

It may be not that easy cuz this thread pretty much needs a kind of different audience than main game. As you know many people prefer pictures more than anything else in these games.

 

[Oppai Auteur]

It may be not that easy cuz this thread pretty much needs a kind of different audience than main game. As you know many people prefer pictures more than anything else in these games.

True, guess I was just hoping there was this silent group on the forum who want to read adult fiction as well as play games lol

 

[Dilettante]

True, guess I was just hoping there was this silent group on the forum who want to read adult fiction as well as play games lol

I'm sure there is. And moreover, they're not silent. Many text based games have a pretty big following here. Of course it's not as huge as say some sandbox games have (with 500-1000 pages of comments mostly about the same thing), but they're active. But i would guess not many of them look at discussions section.

 

[Oppai Auteur]

Another little update to the story, we aren't at the end just yet though. But with this update we are getting closer, maybe I'll even give it a title soon lol Been struggling to get the action to flow it this update so we will see how things go.

As always be sure to leave feedback please!

Spoiler: Story

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[Dilettante]

Another little update to the story, we aren't at the end just yet though. But with this update we are getting closer, maybe I'll even give it a title soon lol Been struggling to get the action to flow it this update so we will see how things go.

As always be sure to leave feedback please!

Well, i liked how action packed this update was and the flow of it. It was a brutal battle for sure. Didn't quite expect the no less brutal ending though. But i guess i should've given their family's profession.

 

[Oppai Auteur]

Well, i liked how action packed this update was and the flow of it. It was a brutal battle for sure. Didn't quite expect the no less brutal ending though. But i guess i should've given their family's profession.

Yeah, wanted this to be a bit more brutal than my usual style

Still has the comedy, but with the kind of violence expected from a sword and sorcery story

 

[Dilettante]

Yeah, wanted this to be a bit more brutal than my usual style

Still has the comedy, but with the kind of violence expected from a sword and sorcery story

I did notice some comedy. Poor Jasu though.

 

[Oppai Auteur]

I did notice some comedy. Poor Jasu though.

....Its only gonna get worse for her, for a little while anyway lol

 

[Dilettante]

....Its only gonna get worse for her, for little while anyway lol

In this case, it will be interesting to see how it will progress for these three from this update's ending situation to some "action".