A common trope in amateur writers (not that I am a writer at all) is that each element in their story is treated as having equal levels of significance. One of the key elements that an editor brings to a written piece is that they can view the project from outside of the creative process and key into that stuff which is important for the story, and which stuff isn't. The writer can then take that feedback and rework the piece back and forth until the story is clean to give more weight to the important stuff, and less to the unimportant. This game needs an editor and badly.
The writing is fine-- although a bit overly edgy for my personal taste, the characterizations are fun, and if your going to do the edgy protagonist this is a solid version. The part I cannot get over is the page upon page of text. Much of it redundant and even more of it just generally poorly paced. I don't think all adult games need to be pure porn scenes with just a tiny plot strining them together, I also think its ok for a porn game to have a very modest amount of actual porn. The issue here is just so poorly paced that at some point I went through another half hour of wild dialogue and my hand hurts from clickthrough. There are updates showing 30k words added, Checking the last 20 pages the words averaged about 12 or so per click, thats a two thousand five hundred click through update. There is a ton of work which went into this so I give it props and more credit than I want to, but there are just sooo many words for the format. I can read giant essays or fanfic stories or just scientific articles but they are formatted in paragraphs, clicking through sentnce by sentence is agony after a stretch, I literally rebound my scroll wheel to left click just to ease up on the clicking.
If you as a player want a higher volume of "action" per unit of reading this would be closer to a 1-2 star if you really resonate with the character, or the humor it's probably a 4. Just based on effort and the visual style (which is very nice) it can't be lower than a 3 but man alive it needs an editing pass. Mark Twain once said, "if I had more time, I would have written a shorter letter" and its very applicable here, I also bet that man didn't expect to be quoted on an anime porn game but here we are.
The writing is fine-- although a bit overly edgy for my personal taste, the characterizations are fun, and if your going to do the edgy protagonist this is a solid version. The part I cannot get over is the page upon page of text. Much of it redundant and even more of it just generally poorly paced. I don't think all adult games need to be pure porn scenes with just a tiny plot strining them together, I also think its ok for a porn game to have a very modest amount of actual porn. The issue here is just so poorly paced that at some point I went through another half hour of wild dialogue and my hand hurts from clickthrough. There are updates showing 30k words added, Checking the last 20 pages the words averaged about 12 or so per click, thats a two thousand five hundred click through update. There is a ton of work which went into this so I give it props and more credit than I want to, but there are just sooo many words for the format. I can read giant essays or fanfic stories or just scientific articles but they are formatted in paragraphs, clicking through sentnce by sentence is agony after a stretch, I literally rebound my scroll wheel to left click just to ease up on the clicking.
If you as a player want a higher volume of "action" per unit of reading this would be closer to a 1-2 star if you really resonate with the character, or the humor it's probably a 4. Just based on effort and the visual style (which is very nice) it can't be lower than a 3 but man alive it needs an editing pass. Mark Twain once said, "if I had more time, I would have written a shorter letter" and its very applicable here, I also bet that man didn't expect to be quoted on an anime porn game but here we are.