4.00 star(s) 107 Votes

apnea111

Member
Dec 18, 2018
155
492
For me its now a solid start. Already in a short time fixed many mistakes and changed the persons narative.

Keep it up. Stay around the forum you can get important feedback.

Most important asspect for me Is keeping characters distinctive and conicistent.

Every action or saying of characters define their personality. For example. Whats the character of a guy that jerks of in his pants?

The narative of the game also defines its character. The intro has a vibe of telemarketing commercial. "The magic knife Is the best knife. Not like the other ones. Order know and get 4 at the price of 2."

Best of luck

Waiting next updates
 

Maverick1965

Member
Sep 2, 2018
307
419
I'm loving this one to bits so far. The writing is actually really very good (Superwriter isn't being a braggart here by any measure as far as I'm concerned) and the renders are really superb. It's really nice to see some new faces as it were.

Once again, an older MC makes a pleasant change but if I had a gripe, it'd be the lack of naming the other characters. Even more generic names wouldn't be too bad, but Miracle and Paris? It jangles the nerves a bit for mind. That said, the story is a really good slow burn. Unlike many VN's where the horsecocked 18yo bangs everyone within 100m of him in the first act, this slow, conflicting narrative is really top notch.

Kudos to both Superwriter & Ptolemy for some brilliant work thus far.
 

Deleted member 1412183

Well-Known Member
Game Developer
May 15, 2019
1,725
8,225
For me its now a solid start. Already in a short time fixed many mistakes and changed the persons narative.

Keep it up. Stay around the forum you can get important feedback.

Most important asspect for me Is keeping characters distinctive and conicistent.

Every action or saying of characters define their personality. For example. Whats the character of a guy that jerks of in his pants?

The narative of the game also defines its character. The intro has a vibe of telemarketing commercial. "The magic knife Is the best knife. Not like the other ones. Order know and get 4 at the price of 2."

Best of luck

Waiting next updates
I'm loving this one to bits so far. The writing is actually really very good (Superwriter isn't being a braggart here by any measure as far as I'm concerned) and the renders are really superb. It's really nice to see some new faces as it were.

Once again, an older MC makes a pleasant change but if I had a gripe, it'd be the lack of naming the other characters. Even more generic names wouldn't be too bad, but Miracle and Paris? It jangles the nerves a bit for mind. That said, the story is a really good slow burn. Unlike many VN's where the horsecocked 18yo bangs everyone within 100m of him in the first act, this slow, conflicting narrative is really top notch.

Kudos to both Superwriter & Ptolemy for some brilliant work thus far.
Thanks so much for the feedback Maverick and Apnea. I've got some really good stuff planned for next update, so look forward to it!
 

Vainglorious

Active Member
Jun 14, 2018
652
813
Well just finished playing this (version 0.1) didn't play the demos before and just spent quite awhile reading these 19 pages. Just want to say upfront none of this is an attack on anyone. Take what you will from it.

I have to agree that the opening statement came off very poorly. I know it's been explained here what was meant but also consider not everyone playing your game will come to the forum and see the explaination. May want to consider changing it a bit.

I love the girls models (shape wise) Paris's face is unique (in the sense I've not seen it in a game before) but I'm not sure if I like it. Her resting face is fine but when she shows some kind of emotion it seems strangely off-putting to me.

Personality-wise so far i'm liking Miracle best. The other two i'm not sure I have a handle on yet.

It may be just me but occasionally Sasha and a lot of times Paris's teeth look weirdly too dark to me. I haven't noticed it with Miracle.

As has been mentioned before the attraction between MC and girls can seem quick in terms of beginning of game. This really doesn't bother me as we are just jumping into a random point in their lives. We haven't gotten to see the years of relationship before game start that could lead to the attraction.

Then there is this....

The panty scene in the car comes off as completely unbelievable for the simple fact that there is no way he could see her panties in the rear-view mirror without first moving the mirror. Anyone who's driven a car knows that you would be able to see only her head in the mirror or only her crotch, but not both at the same time. Porn works because credulity is being strained, but in this case the laws of physics are being broken. Furthermore, there is no way Paris would be able to tell where the MC's line of sight was in order to call him out on it later. Having him move the mirror would make the scene be more believable.
These were my exact thoughts when I got to this scene. I thought to myself the only way he could see her panties was if they were in a limo.

On a similar note, I was taken out of the story when I got to the acting scene. The beginning was fine but when they moved to the 2nd scene, why was Sasha reading a different characters part? They are there for her to practice so it makes no sense for the MC to retain his character and her to switch. Unless she is playing multiple characters in the play. If that's the case then it should be stated in game. Like having the director say, "Ok let's move on to your other roll" or something to that effect. I know it's really just a means to get Sasha to grope MC and lead to some sexual content but it was just not logical progression for me. None of the masturbation made any sense really other than a tossed in scene for some sexy time. I can only talk from my experience but I've never experienced an erection so strong that I just had to jerk off in a very inappropriate place with an inappropriate person present. I mean honestly (for me) it would have taken longer to jerk off and cum with what stimulation MC was given than to just ignore it and let it go away naturally.
 

Deleted member 1412183

Well-Known Member
Game Developer
May 15, 2019
1,725
8,225
PICTURE PERFECT 0.2 has been released on Patreon, guys. I'm sure it'll be here soon enough, but if you do like the game, becoming a patron for even $1 HELPS! Especially a brand new developer. But if you can't afford any support, I seriously appreciate you guys giving it a try anyway!

Always open for dialogue about the game
 

Cooling Prob

Well-Known Member
Mar 7, 2019
1,440
1,241
I wasn't gloryifying my skills or trying to bash others, but I'll seriously consider what you said. Thank you. And can you play the whole update before deciding if it's generic? Thanks again
Hey...I love good writing and as they say "Tlhe long burn". When the lady down to the left and I...ahh ...um I mean the MC finally get together the earth is going to rattle ;)
 
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4.00 star(s) 107 Votes