VN Ren'Py Abandoned Pinnacle or Precipice [v0.8] [i11uminati Productions]

[7767]

Overview:
A plot and character-driven Cyberpunk themed visual novel.
Excellent visuals and a story you'll actually enjoy reading.
If you're excited about the Cyberpunk 2077 video game maybe this can help you out while you're waiting.
In this dangerous world, a lot of beautiful women need your help. Some even want to help you.
And I'm sure you will enjoy every minute of it.
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Thread Updated: 2021-02-25
Release Date: 2021-02-25
Developer: i11uminati Productions

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Censored: No
Version: 0.8
OS: Windows, Linux, Mac
Language: English
Genre:

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Installation:

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Changelog:

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Others: ANDROID* - COMPRESSED*

Extra: Gallery Mod

This compression/port is not released by the developer, Download at your own risk

​

 

[JaegerMister]

Now if I can avoid all that bdsm we might be cooking with fire here.

 

[i11uminati Productions]

Not much bdsm. Just a submissive girl. Hope you enjoy it anyway!

 

[i11uminati Productions]

But yes you can avoid her if you'd like.

 

[The ArcKnight]

I like the cyberpunk theme and BDSM elements but i'm needing more tags to see if i'm interested.
Is this male or female protagonist.
If its male protagonist, can you get all the women ala harem?
If you can get all the women, can you avoid the Prostitution part? Because the last thing I want is to pimp out my character's love interests. MINE! No one else's.

Renders look good though!
Especially that redhead with the lace covered thighs.... Mhm yes sir, give me a good girl in stockings any day of the week.

 

[Machete]

Cyberpunk.. I'm in! 188 mb... How much content is there in?

 

[i11uminati Productions]

Male protag. And don't worry I don't plan on having your women sleep with other guys.

 

[i11uminati Productions]

Cyberpunk.. I'm in! 188 mb... How much content is there in?

First public release so still pretty short. Two sex scenes. I'd love if you still give it a try. Looking for feedback at this point.

 

[Machete]

Ops, my apologies. I don't know why i was sure this had the "complete" tag on it. Well, then i wish you a good work and i look foreward to the complete version.

 

[i11uminati Productions]

I am the creator and if anyone wants to provide me with feedback or constructive criticism please message me on this site by clicking my username.

 

[The ArcKnight]

I usually don't do first releases but fuck it, i'll give it a shot. First game?

 

[Machete]

One general hint: Remember to give the player freedom of choice. Wrost thing ever is when the games hooks you up with some character by default and/or unavoidable sex scene. The player should only get the partners he/her pursuits or accepts.

 

[i11uminati Productions]

I usually don't do first releases but fuck it, i'll give it a shot. First game?

Yes this is my first game. And thanks I really appreciate you taking a look.

 

[Machete]

I've played the first few minutes. So far so good, it's all very promising!

 

[i11uminati Productions]

One general hint: Remember to give the player freedom of choice. Wrost thing ever is when the games hooks you up with some character by default and/or unavoidable sex scene. The player should only get the partners he/her pursuits or accepts.

Thanks for the input Machete. And I do agree that there should be choice involved in most cases. Unless the scene is particularly important to the story. In this first release you can choose between the girls or just take both. And I plan to continue choice through the game for the most part.

 

[Machete]

Another tip: Don't use real names of people, parties or companies. It could lead to troubles or offend the gamers.

 

[The ArcKnight]

Couple little things, I'll add more as I play.
1.) Within the 1st couple lines you switch from first to third person. "You vs I" Pick a perspective and keep with it.
2.) Capitalize names always, even if it's just "mc"
3.) Intro movie is cool but its on a loop so it keeps kicking you back to the travelling down the tunnel shot until you mouse click next.
4.) You might want to include an ACTUAL intro screen welcoming the player to the novel, the drop from clicking "start" to "Bronx, 2037" is a bit jarring.
5.) I really like the info dump about the world and that you can skip it. I LOVE lore and alternate history so I ate that shit up.
6.) LOVE the Underland club, the White Rabbit character is great even if I personally dislike her hair. Im in love with the Queen of hearts.
7.) The transition music needs to slowly taper off, the switch from the choice between the two girls where the music just cuts is jarring.
8.) If you are going to switch character's perspective keep it in 1st person and show their name. the "sex had been pretty lack luster for her" line is jarring when you were just doing 1st person dialog right before hand when there is no name indication to show it switched to about cheer instead of the MC's inner thoughts.
8.) I like the scene with Cheer but the dead eyed expression she has after you creampied her is a little unnerving.
9.) Something about Doe puts me off but I can't quite say why, maybe the hair style combined with her face just makes her look too manly to me?
10.) Loop animation again, the insert keeps resetting, loops are good for continuous fucking, not initial insertion.
11.) Naming is weird, Doe, dough? When it named her Doe i pictured a deer, not Dough for making bread. (Edit: ignore this, she explained)
12.) I tend to not look too hard at the plot of these games but its obvious you are trying to make this work so How the hell does a Brothel worker know about the MC's past? or that the gangs were given a "Hands off" order concerning the MC?
13.) Holy abrupt ends batman! You need a "You've reached the end of this update" Screne instead of just ending it back to start after you agree to the job.

Okay, so over all thoughts. Good start, needs some serious polish and to let the story breathe a bit. Right now you just kinda shotgun plot, plot, plot Let the story breathe a little and the penitent facts come out naturally. There is no way the MC would refer to Arathano by its proper name all the time, and how would 2 whores know the MC worked for it? Maybe expand on the two whores a little bit, the scenes with them were good and same for Bunny. I liked the look of Ali and the Queen of Hearts but yeah the dialog needs some work as that is not the way people talk to each other. They have a conversation instead of just dumping plot.

Also, for the love of the gods, pick a tense and stick with it for the rest of the game. No "You move to the back door, readying you're baseball bat." in one paragraph and then jump to "I hit him again and again, feeling the rage well up in me. Never again would I let this monster hurt Cheer and Doe." in the next paragraph. Pick one perspective (I think is the right word?) and stick with it.

Like I said, I wouldn't look too hard at plot normally but with a Cyberpunk setting, its kinda required and it seems you're going for a whole Bladerunner/Escape from NY vibe, and to do that you are going to need to let the scenes breath a little and let the exposition come out naturally instead of just a plot dump.

You've got an excellent base here to work with, just needs some polish and reworking of a few scenes. Maybe move the World backstory to the start otherwise everything is just so very abrupt and you've no idea whats going on at first.

 

[Cernunnos.]

Cyberpunk eh? Here's hoping none of the lovely ladies has any enhancements...

 

[i11uminati Productions]

Another tip: Don't use real names of people, parties or companies. It could lead to troubles or offend the gamers.

Yeah that's a good point. I thought it would add realism and a game on a pirate site could get away with it. I mean I get to see Hermione and Princess Leia fuck people on here. But you're right it may not be worth the risk.

 

[JaegerMister]

Glad to know it's avoidable. I'll probably wait til a few more releases go by so it'll have some meat on it's bones, but I'm interested for sure.